Divinorum Psychonauticus

The Truth is a Hoax, and that is a Lie.

2012-02-02T16:19:00.001-05:00

I'm sure folks have noticed before, but check out the alien in the lower right corner of this alleged 'hoax' UFO shot, and its uncanny resemblance to the 'autopsy alien' which was also supposed to have been faked, but 'based on real evidence,' i.e. the guy who hoaxed it saw footage of the real one ... but really who knows what is real. I'm not the first to ponder whether the aliens or the CIA themselves create the hoaxes to spread confusion and disinformation and thus make the real footage fake by association.

Note the gashed out chunk of the leg in the above photo is in the opposite leg below

Then there's this recently 'leaked' footage of some humanoid on a stretcher surrounded by official types. The cameraman is terrible of course - why wouldn't you want to just shoot the thing and not keep waving the camera around? Was it a hidden camera? Either way in certain shots it looks like the same alien from the autopsy and the top alleged hoax UFO crash. But other moments it looks like a normal human who maybe got his face melted off, and note the very human like feet, two of them. So... what is it all about?

Below: another autopsy that's supposed to be from Belgrade, though some say it's just a badly burned up jet pilot:

Now back when it was on Showtime, I accidentally saw the made for cable movie Roswell starring Kyle Mclachlan as Jesse Marcel. Why the hell isn't this film available on DVD if not a government conspiracy? I remember an alien in surgery who briefly comes alive and grabs a nurse's hand (she recounts it in flashback, followed by her threats from mysterious government agents). I can't be sure but I think this might be a shot from that film:

Or it could be a shot from the exhibit in the Roswell museum:

A lot of people seem to believe more in the hoaxes such as the autopsy footage than in more 'real' reports. But since it's the thing they saw that convinced them, which if you believe, as I do, in the validity of the phenomena (there's just too much convincing evidence to deny) yet don't believe in the autopsy footage, is like poetic justice, like where a guy gets convicted for a murder he didn't do but we cheer anyway because he did murder someone else and got away with it. The hoaxers are like the corrupt cops who fake evidence to get a conviction even though they know the guy is guilty anyway. Getting caught doing that is what sprung O.J. in the end, and made Hank Quinlan get shot by Pete his partner in Touch of Evil, so be careful what you wish for... and just realize that that big globular invader of your living room is a citizen of the pumpkin patch and if you should hear a knock on your door but no one's there, that was no Martian, it's 2012.

Smoking Guns and Drag: Italian Abduction and manifestation-materialization-ufo-drag-queen-delirium

2012-01-19T12:59:00.002-05:00

A crazed essay from me appears in "UFO Drag Queen / Delirium" - a laudable fusion of alien theory, photography, strange brew, and god knows what else (Get it from Lulu!). Some of my pals from the C Influence are also in it: Bruce Duensing (Intangible Materiality) and Rick Phillips (The Heavy Stuff).

(From Roger Leir's blog) This video of an abductee in Italy (below) includes handprints, chem analysis, implants, markings, and a horrific-looking alien fetus, the result of an abortion --the ultimate sign of monstrous evil in Catholic Italy! The woman relays the typical gray tale of a race with exhausted DNA breeding with humans to try and save their race. Some in the know say this is just a fable the grays tell for reasons of their own, and the breeding program is just the mandate of an even more highly advanced, and long gone, master race.

Fox Eats Yr Young: TV's Reptillian Pundits.

2011-11-08T12:31:00.003-05:00

Are they just into weird contact lenses over at Fox? Do they have weird issues with their TV cameras that they crack up and pixelate across newscaster faces, and then the newscasters realize it and step off camera until they can 'fix' themselves? I had a run-in with a reptilian model once, but it was Halloween so I think she was wearing contacts. yet she could read my mind, and then she blew it (my mind) and sent me running through the streets, home to tell you this shocking tale.

Even if there's no ultimate answer, I find the slow mo video captures all over youtube on the subject to be fascinating. After all, we humans are complex creatures: our groovy reptilian cortex separates us from common herd animals or even apes (they don't kill each other in cold blood over ant hill rights). Check this out from Crystalinks:

The brain stem is the oldest and smallest region in the evolving human brain. It evolved hundreds of millions of years ago and is more like the entire brain of present-day reptiles. For this reason, it is often called the 'reptilian brain'. Various clumps of cells in the brain stem determine the brain's general level of alertness and regulate the vegetative processes of the body such as breathing and heartbeat.

It's similar to the brain possessed by the hardy reptiles that preceded mammals, roughly 200 million years ago. It's 'preverbal', but controls life functions such as autonomic brain, breathing, heart rate and the fight or flight mechanism. Lacking language, its impulses are instinctual and ritualistic. It's concerned with fundamental needs such as survival, physical maintenance, hoarding, dominance, preening and mating. It is also found in lower life forms such as lizards, crocodiles and birds. It is at the base of your skull emerging from your spinal column.

The ones below seem to have a weird 'eye glitch' that occurs, as if the TV loses control of its fake cover signal and exposes the sliver-pupiled monster beneath (THEY LIVE was no joke!)

Or what about the vids of celebs and glass-eaters with disappearing fangs?

Another reptilian shape change aspect is the 'matrix glitch' - something that often happens of Fox:

Here's the king of the reptilian conspiracy theorists, David Icke.

I find Icke fascinating and have read his book, The Lion Sleeps No More, which I heartily recommend, even though I think he's a little cracked, but he makes me wonder about the Satanic panic of the early 1980s, and the weird link of sleep apnea and sleep paralysis to alien abduction to pan-dimensional resonance.

I personally neither believe nor disbelieve any of it, instead I preach the evils of absolutes --in our universe there is no difference between the real and the vividly imagined, so why pretend otherwise? Perhaps mystics place too much importance on dreams just as scientists don't place enough! But I am also deeply suspicious of the way mainstream psychology avoids these subjects. If there was no proof to it, why not deal with the belief system in an objective manner, rather than petulantly scoffing?

Mainstream science detests vagueness and thinks subjectivity can be transcended through the scientific method. But they're wrong. The people we need to watch and listen to aren't the SETI operators, but the mystics and agents who do remote viewing of alien craft, or channel ancient disembodied alien collective voices. Sure these people could all just be making it up - like science fiction. But then again, where does science fiction come from? The mind knows a lot more than it's telling us. That's the place to look.

Science is scared to 'use the force.' It dismisses all of it as dreams, fantasies, and hallucinations. But we mystics know that sometimes visions are much more intense and vivid than 'waking life' - in a flash the entire universe can be known in an instinctive way that left-brain science will never grasp. Let us re-join our halves - let pharmaceutical corporations hire shamans from the Amazon to helm their research departments! Give David Icke a grant to test the blood of politicians for zygotes!

Radio 1 - BBC Interview with Bob Oechsler (ex-NASA scientist 1993)

2011-11-01T14:47:00.002-04:00

The incredulous DJ Nicky Campbell is a bit hostile and dense and keeps trying to downplay how mind-blowing all this is. The description of the aliens meshes perfectly with the 'Second New Roswell UFO clips'

Gnomes and Grays: Videos

2011-10-24T16:39:00.003-04:00

Youtube alien and cryptozoology videos: what is real and what is a hoax? If it feels real, if you see it at the right time of the day, when you're unguarded and susceptible to the power of suggestion, the right video can blow your mind. We will probably never know for sure what's truth OR fiction. We should call it all Truoaxes and let it go at that, for to try and find what's real is to miss the point. Have we forgotten the words of John Lennon: "Nothing is real. Strawberry fields forever"? One may think they're fake but believe they're real. There is no objective reality, not no more.

As I've written in the past, I believe strongly that mainstream science kills the myth and mystery man needs to be enamored of life when it insists on naming and explaining every last goddamn detail, and displaying such witch-burning hostility towards what it regards as 'superstition'. It's fine that we're no longer always afraid of the dark, but science wants to pin every last butterfly to the board, to dub sea serpents 'river eels' and bigfoot chimapnzee Americanus and quickly nullify the uncanny frisson of the supernatural via dull as dishwater dissertation, lets its authority be usurped.

I understand and appreciate that scientists and academics are entrusted when they get their doctorates with a sacred oath not to go all flaky because now they represent the establishment. Their opinion is now expert so if they're wrong their whole department has egg on its face. That said, science needs to see the forest for the trees. Enough scientists and doctors and law officers and military men have seen and encountered these things that by now any sane peer review would have crapped its pants in fear. In that sense, mainstream science is, on this issue, exactly where the Catholic church was with Copernicus or the fundamentalists with Newton.

So yeah, I hate shows like Mythbusters and Fact or Faked because I believe we need the scary uncertainty they try to sweep away. We need to strain our gaze in the corners fuzzy home video backgrounds and dark woods at night for little bopping heads or sudden shots of strange stick men walking along pathways. Mythbusters is the new Spanish inquisition, science the new marauding crusaders burning hippies, ancient astronaut proponents, campfire urban myth tellers, and mystics at the stake for daring imply anything might be true outside of what science can measure and submit to peer review. If all the urban legends and hoaxes and campfire bigfoot mystery does is to help us look at our woods with new eyes, it's a lot more than the average dull science lecture ever did. Scientists will tell you what the tree is called. But who called it that? Who gets to decide this is an oak and that's an elk? Why can't we reverse the process of naming and make an elk into something other than 'just' and elk? If we take away its name it becomes a dark strange shapeshifting horned spirit of the forest!

ARGENTINE GNOME ATTACK

The South American gnome thing really gets me. It's got a crazy pointed hat and a weird sideways 'dancing' walk --but when it decides to come up to you it moves fast and crazy like a spider and kids just can't help but flee. There's an older attack that I can't find on youtube. Was I imagining it?

This one is super small

WIKILEAKS has allegedly released some alleged footage of gray Roswell alien survivor from 1947, and recently I found another 'hidden camera' shot of three grays on their way to a meeting in 1961 I love how graceful they are, how urbane with their slick black turtlenecks, and the way the first two languidly look at each other while walking as if telepathing to each other "what do you think, humans are freaky, right?" One trails behind, sees the camera and turns towards it, his black eyes grow larger as he approaches, and bam! that's it. Show's over.

This collection below is pretty astounding - including the original "Skinny Bob" footage as well as the famous UFO film from Istanbul, the validity of which is enhanced by the presence of Dr. Roger Leir, the esteemed surgeon who's been a pioneer in removing alien implants.

Maybe one or two of the images in the above videos are fake, but what maybe not, and anyway, what is fake? Go to the Natural Museum of History sometime and you'll see nearly everything there is 'fake' - plaster casts or whatever of ancient relics like the Venus of Willendorf. Dioramas of cavemen. Are they 'hoaxes?' Our whole world is fake, man! And imagine the horror of if we knew for certain it wasn't fake. If we knew for certain all of this Wiki stuff was real, it would almost be too much; our heads might explode. I'd say that even people in the top secret programs are always given the 'out' of thinking it all might be some CIA mindfuck test of their ability to keep it deadpan and po'faced even as the world cracks apart around them.

The question isn't whether of not you "want to believe" as Spooky Mulder's poster says, but "are you ready" to believe? When I first looked at both of these videos, I felt a shock, like a heart attack moment of oh my god, the holy grail - so even if I'm wrong, it's all fake, there is no holy grail, I still got my holy grail in that moment of uncanny heart attack shock. Will you heed the call, and let the awful truth in? Or sneer with your logic-locked brethren until the last shred of your soul is eaten up by mainstream science's deadening devil deal?

Someone out there has been given the awful responsibility of 'preparing' humankind for the big events to come, and what better way than this, by easing us slowly across the line of consciousness from our current level of dichotomy and subterfuge - myth and reality, consciousness and dreaming, fact or fiction, hoax or authentic, CGI or latex. Rather than the aliens becoming 'real,' we will become sucked into the fiction. Prepare to smell like newsprint and saunas!

ALIENS FROM NEW TOMORROWLAND - The Long Lost Disney-Nasa Documentary that confesses the truth!

2011-10-11T16:16:00.001-04:00

I've read about this 1995 documentary in many UFO books, but never saw it... then realized it might be on the web. Amazing! It's made me break out in a cold sweat. This was made by Disney and test shown in only five cities on local TV to measure audience response (panic, etc), by telling the unvarnished 'truth' instead of the usual cagey question phrasing "Was it a weather balloon?" becomes "the idea of creatures from another planet might not be as far-fetched as we once thought." The spacecraft that crashed as Roswell - "The shocking history of govt. misinformation programs designed to prevent widespread panic!" All narrated by Robert Urich!

Quotes:

"Scientific verification of extraterrestrial life forms routinely arriving on earth; top secret reports from ongoing military investigations; compelling home videos of alien craft captured within the last few months; world figures who have gone public with their own extraterrestrial experiences; the shocking history of government misinformation programs designed to prevent widespread panic; and personal accounts of those who have been abducted and studied against their will."

" From beyond the boundaries of our perceptions, intelligent beings are beckoning mankind to join the galactic community. It’s an invitation which is both wondrous and terrifying. This is the nature of alien encounters."

And then it ties into a Disney Ride at the end! Now that's genius in diversionary marketing - i.e. "it's toasted!"

Disclosure Happened - You Missed It.

2011-08-11T11:11:00.000-04:00

Has full disclosure by the government of the alien presence already happened? I'd vote yes. I'd imagine there's something big coming our way, and this line from the Upanishads bears that out:

"There has never been an objective Being. Knowing this, the rest is known."

Recently a slew of books has appeared on Amazon from government researchers and whistle blowers that forgo any need to ask 'what if' or 'what are they' and instead not just wonder but tell what they want and what their deal is. Sites like expolotics.org pave the way for a new age of intergalactic understanding and a 'letting' in of electromagnetic propulsion technology, remote viewing, telepathy instruction, and basic universal group mind concepts that we will need to know if we're to 'keep up' with the next big boot in the pants jump of evolution. The Mayan/Aztec equivalent of course would be if new chapters started magically appearing in the local literature on Spanish language, naval navigation, firearms, and Catholicism and how to avoid getting burnt at the stake, to prepare for the arrival of the conquistadors. Though in our case 'arrival' is too strong a word. A more apt descrption would be 'increased visibility' or 'next level' for the next level in a video game doesn't arrive from on high, it was already there in the software, waiting for you to reach it, and by reaching it, one sees it, and to see it one must first know there has never been an objective being who sees these things. Ask any blind man to describe a smell or sound and you know you're missing 90% of what he hears and smells. Same goes for the universal mind. As Obi Wan said, "Your eyes can deceive you. Don't trust them!"

To unpack that Upanishad, read the Subjectve Bioverse, and Alien Mind and know how to answer the scientists trapped in their chairs who argue the impossibility of time and space travel, the way snails might argue the impossibility of ever making it to China from New Jersey. The folding of space is actually relatively simple except that the government has blocked out all these missing chapters from our textbooks. Instead we must study the blueprints of Bob Lazar, and Phillip Corso, two men who've been easily discredited by a scientific alarm system that protects the heavy grants and bodies of learning created by its own people. While meaning no disrespect to these scientists I've never found any logic there, as the most obvious questions one can ask about such things - the subjective nature of our location in relativity to the rest of the universe, the obvious, jarring disconnect in evolution between animals and ourselves - go unanswered.

And when Hawking wouldn't even deign to mention the mountains of research done on actual UFOs for his aliens TV show (see my review here), he asked for it. How can a man confined to a chair for life, dependent on computers for speech but able to reach the stars in his thoughts would argue the need for his shell of a body to be lugged on a craft and launched into orbit for space travel to occur? It smacks of deep wilfull blindness, such hard-head dogma I've personally never heard of outside a Christian Sunday school class. Knowing, fundamentally, that all perceptions are subjective and no objective exists, Hawking should know space travel is as easy as seeing through the mind's eye of someone on the opposite end of the universe, which is no more strenuous than seeing through the mind's eye of someone right in the next room. And that aliens, while being billions of years more advanced technologically than ourselves, would surely honor our self-imposed limitations and delusions of objectivity and only make spaceships that propel themselves along in linear space time, like good little children.

One place the curtain is being pulled back is on the History Channel, with shows like The UFO Files and Ancient Aliens showing more and more and asking if it's true less and less. Still, for all that, in the recent season they may be going too far. Last week's episode on monsters postulated that things like Cerberus, centaurs and the hydra were results of alien genetic experimentation and monkeying around. I can't help but wonder if the show's creators were urged to push it past incredulity to cast doubt on all that had come before by some high shadowed producer. I don't doubt genetic experiments, but personally I believe the answer to the multiple head and arms effect is the 'trail' from seeing beings move outside time and space which is surely where Perseus, Ezekiel and the Indians who saw Vishnu, etc. were when they witnessed them. That seems far more likely than some aliens, with billions of years in evolution at their disposal, thinking a three headed dog would be real cool.

All I can do is feel down in my core for what I think is true, what I've personally 'seen' and remembered, and that is that our scientists are like parents arguing for the existence of Santa Claus when we see our presents hidden on the top shelf of their closet. But it's a pretty frickin' huge Pandora's box if half of what I think is true is true. And part of that truth is that truth is clear only to those who have abandoned all illusions of separateness, and can think in terms of their whole species and their soul life beyond death, rather than get hung up on their current body, and the 'impossibility' of moving out west, to Andromeda, where rent is cheap and jobs is on the way.

Glimpses of the Fourth Dimension

2011-05-20T12:44:00.002-04:00

"We're really multi-dimensional beings... we've got a lot going on." - Ann Eller

I've been there in my psychonautic travels -it's scary but wild, so let me tell you how it looks in this visualizing experiment:

1. You are looking at a computer screen reading this right now... it's all flat, and even if there's a moving picture of a four-dimensional cube, it's still three dimensional, realize it's two dimensional. Now look at whatever's around the screen, the dimensions of the room and everything in front of you, including the air between the screen and your eyes.

2. Now imagine that everything you see around the screen is like a page or a flat screen, a larger 2-D version of the small screen around you. Imagine it looks the same with your eyes closed and open.

3. Now close your eyes for a minute and think about what you see. You don't see pure blackness, do you? No. it's like an electric gray, like maybe a screen that's gone black but you can tell it's still on. There might be some glowing spots from looking at the screen, or whatever light is around. Then imagine if the scene around the computer is superimposed so that you see it with your eyes closed. Now fold it!! Quick, what's waiting behind it when you fold it in half, or roll it up like a poster? Who is the woman behind the man behind the man behind the curtain?

4. Outside time and space, time and space is meaningless, so for example you can go visit your friend by journeying to a tennis ball in your closet. The moon can be fit into a drop of water. The mansion of the biggest rock star is smaller than the head of a pin. And an eternity in hell can occur in a single second. A second stretches into hours.... in this land, death is revealed as right there, at your side, every minute-- you are already dead and yet unborn, and your other lives are all connected to your every movement, each decision and variation spins out like an octopus or a many-armed Hindu deity.

5. A few years ago, I traveled into these dimensions regularly, and I was always confronted by the black hole effect. What are black holes? You know, but you won't admit it. You are one. The infinite non-existence, the death throes of giant stars. What would you look like from far away if you were approaching a black hole. Imagine the way an arm moves up and down like you're pretending to flap your wings. Near a black hole, each micro movement would be preserved in your vision, so the arm would look like six or seven arms, in fact like a Hindu deity, like this picture of Kali:

Note for example the multiple faces and arms and legs, and even the multiple heads of her victims. Clearly, this is a deity outside time-space, being witnessed by an enlightened Hindu observer, who is able to translate the black hole effect, where every new movement is permanent. This transdimensional vision is not uncommon. I've seen them, and so has Ezekiel, who noted the creature accompanying the 'wheel' had numerous animal and man faces:

And I looked, and, behold, a whirlwind came out of the north, a great cloud, and a fire infolding itself, and a brightness was about it, and out of the midst thereof as the colour of amber, out of the midst of the fire.
Also out of the midst thereof came the likeness of four living and strange creatures.

And every one had four faces, and every one had four wings.

One of the visions I had was of being in a roundish room that was like a giant living organism, like a big gas bag stomach that was inflating and deflating and the entire walls/lining of this gasbag room held grinning demon faces all alike, that seemed me as if they'd been sleeping a long time and were only barely aware I was in their space:

As I wrote in an earlier post, I was amazed when I received an invite from the Rubin Museum of Tibetan art that had a demon mask on the front, which looked EXACTLY like the face I'd seen in the vision, so I used it to create the best 2-D version I could, above. It's not quite there, but the smaller ones toward the middle are supposed to indicate depth.

5. Bearing all this in mind, take another look at your surroundings. Turn your chair or move all the way around so you have a 3-D surround view. Now close your eyes and try to do the same thing, without moving your head, just look to the right or left of the black vibrant 'screen' behind your pupils.

With the right medication or meditation practice, you could adjust the focus of that bright black field behind your eyelids, and what you see might blow your mind. Your third eye is like a TV set that flickers on by itself around four in the morning when you go into REM sleep, but is otherwise way out of focus and not on any particular channel. My big visionary moment was being able to 'tune' in the exact same vision with my eyes closed or open. With them open I was looking at my stereo and a candle as I sat in lotus position. With my eyes closed, the stereo was much bigger, the candle brighter, like a sun, the stereo like a far off plateau in a sacred valley.

That's the important difference that hangs up scientists. Outside the space-time illusion, all distances are nonexistent, informed only by perception which can be expanded and contracted until the universe is no larger than a speck of sand, and you can travel to California just be slipping inside a burning ember in the fireplace. Every movement of you arm resonates across the universe, through time and space, ala Kali above. That's why these pan-dimensional beings are both 'aliens' and earthbound at the same time. As Jesus said the kingdom of heaven is spread upon the earth but men do not see it. Perhaps it's because they've never taken Ethel, or had a white light light spiritual awakening. Change your perceptions and traveling to Mars is no more of an effort than changing the radio station or watching the clock tick to a blithe standstill.

The Fuzzy Matrix: Thoughts and Videos on our daemonic handlers

2011-05-04T10:39:00.001-04:00

http://www.diegomusiccreations.com/the-reptilian-holographic-matrix-pact.php

A Russian discovery - either a nuclear meltdown mutation or an alien baby, or a very small alien...

How small can these critters get? One of the most compelling witnesses lately has been David Eckhart, who took this via camera set-ups using a mirror ball reflection (according to his extraterrestrial sources, interdimensional beings like the greys can only be photographed via this roundabout means).

Here's another of Eckhart's videos, this one more orb-based.

Then of course there's the Stan Romanek case. This is the 'real' video... though it looks like a balloon with black eyes drawn on, to me:

I'm reading Nick Redfern's book, Final Events, and man it's chilling, because I know--I feel--so much of it to be true. It connects a lot of missing dots, like the links between Satanism, human sacrifice, UFOs, Egyptology, etc. I don't fully believe that our visitors are not aliens from outside our planet, I believe that they come from within, and I also believe that there are fuzzy areas where our unconscious minds all merge, a fuzzy matrix if you will, wherein aliens are simultaneously products of our collective imaginations, aliens from outer regions, interdimensional spies, robots, humans from the future, and demons who's main focus is to keep us dependent on foreign oil, so we stay enslaved to soul-condensing thought patterns, unable to see beyond our own mirror egos, and therefore both contributing to and suffering from a collective consciousness / alienation and feeling of separateness, a feeling which is the ultimate end product of enslavement to certain thought patterns, such as those afflicting western medicine, education, and science. Keeping their eyes shut to this obvious link between the age-old myths of heaven and hell, our reincarnating selves of the future, UFOs, and time-space continuum-bending technology and mental powers we're only beginning to understand, I feel personally like the more of this stuff I think and write about the more isane I become.

So is UFO lore a route to madness? And is that madness soul condensing, or soul dispersing? 'cuz you want your soul dispersed, bro, because no fishing net can ever catch the sea, or the air. So the soul farm is all about keeping you stuck on being a fish, or a lone man. Maybe that's why the voiceovers of all the previews aimed at dudes features two phrases: "In a world" and "one man" It's always down to one man, against the world gone wrong. Our action movies have forgotten the camaraderie of Howard Hawks and the family of John Ford. They are instead the urban nomads of Schwarzenegger, junkies of the fantasy with nothing but an over-priced apartment and a receding hairline as an alternative to the land of "one man in a world" soul-condensing fantasiae.

No man is so high that he can reach the top without first touching bottom, using it to bounce back up. It's down there I first realized that getting to heaven by going lower than hell was easier than trying to climb out. It's all changeable with simply focusing on the breath - as we count down to ten and open our hearts, the flames turn to clouds, the dark to light.

All the conflicting reports of who or what or where in UFOlogy shows that these elemental beings are many things at once. The Hindu literature's gods have male and female sides, as well as dual-sided mates, creating an endless amount of twisted children, who can flip from angels to demons like a coin, and whose limbs appear to be so many because of what I see as an effect similar to that of a black hole. When space and time collapse, beings appear with this psychedelic trail because of this reason, study black holes... that's where the answer is, but in order to get there we have to be so dispersed, so porous and light, that black hole will become just like one more girlfriend we're destined to share a whole new universe with.

FBI Disclosure: Is that all there is... to a circus?

2011-04-12T11:59:00.005-04:00

The recent online release of countless FBI files stretching back into the days of its formation to handle interstate prohibition and kidnapping issues, is both amazing and kind of, like all such releases, disappointing. The great and powerful Oz metaphor serves well here, especially when imagining what the FBI having a 'file on you' entailed. We imagine such files -- as the notorious ones on John Lennon or the Grateful Dead -- to be packed with surveillance tape transcripts, communist pamphlets, and incriminating sex photos. Instead, well, the files are kind of like what my files at work are for 'student problems' - maybe just a single letter or minor dispute report an agent sent back to Washington on, where was filed, and forgotten.

There's only one really galvanizing file, which is the above report from 1950 by FBI agent Guy Hottel. You can click on it yourself, or go visit the site, or a news report to get the full dirt. What at first seems like official confirmation, on a close reading is really just heresay, connected to old hoaxers to the point where no UFOlogists consider it anything but second-hand fraud. There's a date but no reference to the date of the crash or where exactly in 'New Mexico' the crash occurred.

Similarly, the "Roswell" file is something most UFO scholars recognize as a 'revision' of the general story with the word 'balloon' added. it's a flying disk, 'attached by cables to a balloon' and it's 'hexagonal' and so forth. Whatever.

The "Majestic 12" report is actually a case involving researching an alleged leaked government document on MAJ-12 which the agent labels 'bogus' - even writing it in big print over the text on every page. Whether that itself is a 'cover' or not is moot - as the whole excitement around the FBI site itself is the validity it lends. So in the MAJ-12 case, no validity, just some possible truth and disinformation cobbled together, or maybe just hoaxer fantasia. If this stuff was all hoaxes from the 1950s, why bother to scan it at all, if not to mislead and misdirect and try and get the public and their transparency advocates off the feds' backs?

I wouldn't even bring this up, but I learned about this new FBI file release via a friend of a very science-based debunker-type friend so its quite mainstream - it's made the rounds of Facebook and is being picked up by news sources all over the web. When that kind of news happens, the facts don't matter so much as the 'belief' and the validity that's associated with being released on the official FBI site. Only a few of us will read closely or know enough already to see that the documents say nothing whatsoever 'official' aside from indicating the overall lack of interest the FBI had overall in the UFO phenomenon. But when enough people latch onto something, it 'becomes' real. In other words the truth is coming out thanks to the public's inability to read into the evasive language of official cover-ups! Poetic! Ironic! Maybe even intended.

But of course, at the same time, people are still scared not just of having the curtain pulled back to see how puny we are in the face of the vast cosmos, but of looking stupid if it all--every last thing--turns out to be a hoax, such as the International Business Reports' version of the story:

Not only is the information not first-hand and far removed from New Mexico, it is connected to a 60-year-old hoax that resulted in a conviction for fraud. The memo was the end of a long chain of tale-telling. The Hottel memo repeats a story from the Wyandotte Echo, a legal newspaper in Kansas City, Kansas in January of 1950, which was repeated to Guy Hottel by an Air Force investigator who read the story (and pasted into a memo himself. Such practices were common in the days before scanning documents was possible and memos had to be typed out). That news story draws from the account of a Rudy Fick, a local used car dealer. Fick got the story from a two men, I. J. Van Horn and Jack Murphy, who said they got the story from a man named "Coulter" - actually a radio station advertising manager named George Koehler. Koehler got the story from Silas Newton.

Read more: http://www.ibtimes.com/articles/132868/20110411/fbi-hottel-memo-reveals-ufo-hoax.htm#ixzz1JK4f09XR

But the idea of what is what's not a hoax is far from important this late in the game. What is important is the 'viral' news aspect - the 'breaking story.' For there sources, like ZME Science who aren't satisfied with the above debunking:

...a surprising move that didn’t get quite a lot of attention, the FBI released an online document archive they’re calling the Vault, in which they openly address, among other things, the alleged aliens and flying saucers found at Roswell. Yes, it’s about little green men, like the ones who are usually portrayed in movies. The memo at the core of this documents, named ‘Flying saucers’, was written by an FBI agent named Guy Hottel, and if the actions and pictures depicted within are for real, then I have no idea why this isn’t all over the news. If they’re not for real, I have no idea why the FBI would release them; either way, there’s something strange about this.

The decades old memo states that “three so-called flying saucers had been recovered in New Mexico’, citing an Air Force investigator. There is also a short description of the flying saucers: “They were described as being circular in shape with raised centers, approximately 50 feet in diameter.” “Each one was occupied by three bodies of human shape but only 3 feet tall.”. What’s weird is that after the alleged UFO crash, the newspapers from all over America, and the world, were screaming about the incident/accident. The army issued that press release, but less than a day after that, changed its mind, claiming that in fact they were dealing with nothing more than a few weather balloons that crashed. Of course, nobody was satisfied with this explanation.

The memo not only states that they were in fact flying saucers, but goes even further, and states that there were three bodies only three feet tall inside them. He also describes their clothing ! An FBI memo explains that they thought they were dealing with flying saucers, and there were humanoid bodies inside them ! Something everybody has been trying to be silent about suddently just got very loud with this memo, and it’s absolutely strange, to say the least. Even though this memo doesn’t represent FBI’s opinion, it does represent that of an agent who was at the spot, and in the center of events, so this is absolutely huge; and I’m not talking about comics, sci fi movies and all that, I’m talking about figuring out the truth.

Yes, it's terrifying; the 'disclosure' has begun far to the left of the dial as I and many others have predicted. I'm betting we'll never see an official announcement bigger than the ones we've already received by generals, astronauts, The History Channel, Fox, and now the FBI. But like good sheepherders, the inner circle world leaders know you have to give the masses an out - a way they can avoid asking 'what do they want?' and 'can we stop them?' and 'are we their pets?' and just focus on the question - are they real? And that question blocks out all the others, like the wizard's curtain, and all they have to do to keep that curtain up is make every shred of evidence and disclosure at least on some level 'dubious.'Wrapping truth in lies is like putting peanut butter inside one of those rubber cones you give your dog to chew on. They know it's there, they can't get to it, but they kind of can, and so they are occupied for hours, distracted from their prison of existence.

Similarly, we have the perhaps intentionally clumsy Roswell cover-up: Just throw some cables and a deflated weather balloon on top of the shipment of real crashed disk remnants going to Washington. Toss a rubber alien corpse from a sci fi film near the actual crash site, or replace disc material with aluminum before presenting it to the press. Don't blame the government for this, it's actually heroic, even noble. It's their job to protect and that means mentally as well as physically. Why incite panic if there's nothing anyone can do to stop the aliens from treating us like cattle, and our cattle like snack cakes of which they only eat the middle and throw the rest away? Why wake the sleeping prisoner? Let him keep dreaming he's not in jail. Otherwise his plaintive wailing is too heartbreaking. The government is being a good dad, telling us there's no such thing as monsters even as they're chomping on our psionic auras. If you can make the kids believe that souls don't exist, they won't know to complain when theirs is yanked away in the night by grey poachers.

Within all that subterfuge, the terrifying truth is clear as day - as much as you can handle, and as little as you can't. If and when this 'story' gets too big in the viral Facebook interweb news universe, there will be a follow-up report denouncing the 1950 memo as merely second hand news. But first, they'll let the interest brew up - it's no different than the old masters of ballyhoo who had to promise sex to sell tickets but couldn't show it due to strict censors - so it was all about the 'sizzle' not the steak. In this case, the sizzle is needed because the suckers need to acclimate, salivate and prepare... just like striptease films were needed to pave the way for hardcore pornography. As of now, America is still underage and can't get in to see the 'main attraction,' but that doesn't mean they can't take pictures of the tent, and listen outside for music, eager and alive for every scrap of info that might tell them how they got their father's eyes.

Twitter and the Greys: Dawn of the Human Hive Mind

2011-04-02T19:25:00.002-04:00

If we only use 10% of our brains, who is using the rest? It's a safe bet it's not just going to waste. In my opinion we're like bandwidth that aliens tap the way we might hop on a neighbor's wireless internet. When we 'enlighten' ourselves it's like we take back that width. We find our neighbor's spying and we change our password. In general there's so many unconcsious people out there the aliens don't worry to much if a few humans take back their power. The mass of us being so unconscious of that power makes it all but useless to the rest of us, and maybe in--as in the case of a messiah, sorceress, or LSD guru--a liability, especially if we become too influential and the aliens manipulate public opinion to have us burnt at the stake, spread on the cross, or tossed in the slammer for forty years for a non-violent crime while murderers and rapists are out in ten.

But they can't keep us down forever, and the way news is being disseminated 'instantaneously' around the world via Twitter is something so revolutionary we've scarcely begun to fathom the possibilities. Surely the riots and protests in the Middle East would not have been the same without it. As it was--barring internet shutdowns--protesters and rebels could find out what was going on all over the country, where soldiers were, weak links, etc., faster than any police dispatch radio could ever hope to achieve.

Now, compare this with the 'hive mind' mentality evinced by the greys, especially as reported via remote viewing and imagine a future where no one needs to twitter and IM and text each other the news because it's all done instantaneously, mentally, and you have the dawn of the human hive mind - everyone will feel everyone else's pleasure and pain, and we'll all know each others' languages, instantly, even a few seconds before the thoughts occur, as humans already can do as proven by experiments with variable electron trajectories.

In the next few years, perhaps post-2012 and whatever revelations occur, there will be the moment when our technological geniuses realize that 3-D screens, touch keypads and implanted inner-ear headphones won't be enough. We'll want to get rid of the technology altogether and move into biological enzymes that act as highly advanced microprocessors. Imagine being able to turn on 3-D dream-like movies inside your head, or to flip through hundred of billions of brain wave channels, all without worry about batteries or eyestrain. In short, we'll have the same inter-connected reality that spirits outside of space-time have, and we'll know exactly where they are and how long we've been here.

There will be drawbacks - say you're a guy and about to make love to a beautiful woman - have you ever felt the sudden surge of 'presence' within yourself? Something 'comes over' you? These are spirits seeking to tap into the cosmic heat you're generating. Notice that as soon as you're 'done' the feeling of presence leaves? That's generally a sign there will be no conception occurring - no spirit waiting around to try and move into a fertilized egg and be reincarnated. Well, soon it wont be just spirits, the whole world will be one giant sex club where hungry ghosts and bored cable surfers seek someone else 'plugged in' whose sensual moment is worth experiencing. Crime will cease as we'll all know 'who did it' - maybe even 'be there' when they do, maybe even guide their hand... but more than likely we'll be able to pinpoint the squirmy brains, and euthanize them. Too much information? Don't be squeamish! The future has no place for humanist hand-wringers. We must leave our compassion, our fear, our petty lusts and desires behind like spaceships leave their booster rockets... otherwise we let the majority rule, and the majority are reactionary, terrified, blinders-on livestock for the parasitic 'bandwitdth bandits" of outer space!

Greys on Film - Verité Verité Pax Vobiscum

2011-03-30T16:32:00.003-04:00

Youtube is alive with alien videos, and even if one out of the dozens and dozens is real, then holy sh***t! How come we aren't running in the streets screaming like Chicken Little? Shall I tell you why? Because the rest of the videos are hoaxes, and hoaxes defuse the terror of the unknown, the fear that something vastly more intelligent than ourselves is lurking at every threshold of reality, watching and waiting and sometimes letting itself be caught on video, just to gradually prep you for the big 'announcement' of disclosure. For as long as man's been afraid of the dark, man's been drawing what scares him. In creating an effigy of the unknown, he diffuses his own paranoia.

Take for example this short video circulating of soldiers with a detained grey:

or this one, almost certainly a stop motion animation fake, but still terrifying in the way it seems to suddenly appear in the corner of the bathroom and come shambling forward at a great speed.

If real, it would fit with many alleged photos of greys with long arms that seem rather poorly developed - as if drawn by a 14-year old comic book fan, with mismatched fingers and no elbows. Are these arms perhaps manifestations of some spirit energy? Or are they just screwed up silly putty Stretch Armstrong-style limbs? Who knows what weird limbs these weird creatures have?

The main thing about these is this: the certainty that at least some of the evidence is fake makes the realization that others are real easier to bear. Conversely, the idea that even one may be real makes the faked ones exciting... yet safe. The possibility of falseness ennables us to look into the face of the alien with courage. Our fear of looking gullible to our peers trumps our fear of the unknown. We'd risk death scoffing at a grey in person, rather than act as if the being is real, and have it turn out to be someone in a suit playing a prank.

This is the secret of the 'true' tales of terror heard around campfires, about hooks on car doors on goatmen wandering the Maryland forests and other stuff that scares you even as you know it's probably untrue. As the makers of shows like BLAIR WITCH and PARANORMAL ACTIVITY know, the more we think something is real, the spookier it is, even if we know, deep down, it's not. In just a few seconds or minutes these youtube films can spook us just as much, and get us thinking about the aliens in our midst, but since its from the safety of the position that it 'may not be real' we can digest this terrifying meal with several savory grains of salt.

Here's one I don't believe is real, but nonetheless find scary. Just thinking about this fitgure being able to 'see me' through the layers of time, space, and media. Who's to say these beings can't reverse engineer code and look through all our CRT screens at us? Or code every satellite transmitted phone call with subliminal mind meld messages?:

I tend to scoff at shows like TV's Fact or Faked which thinks it can prove things real or false by recreating them with their amped-up techs. Fellas, just because you can recreate something doesn't mean jack, and second of all - nobody elected a bunch of brazen gearheads the arbiters of what's real and what's not; you are the epitome of left-brained scientific research, which 'needs' to eradicate all mystery from life.

The real truth is: whether these videos are true or are faked, there's ultimately nothing we can do about it. We can investigate sites for evidence but we can't march up to Area 51 and demand answers and get shot, or write the aliens an email and ask "was that yours or a frisbee?" The idea that we can prove these images real or false and that will 'solve' them may be comforting, but it's useless. Go ahead and keep trying to take control of the situation by judging clips of video, see where it gets you. The basic fact of the matter is, something is out there and it doesn't want us to know about it. And we're stuck! All the analysis in the world won't change anything. Fact or Fiction? Yes or No? Alive or dead? One thing my own experience has taught me, you'll never get an answer stuck on dichotomies like that. It's only when we no longer need to have a straight answer, no longer need a big government other to come and explain it all away as sun spots so we can sleep at night, only when we see past the veil of all opposites and illusion... only when we realize our own imagination is as real as God, and that every day was our first and is our last, and will never end, and that even these words I write are dictated to you by an alien force, and that we are all as kittens to these transdimensional beings, we may as well love them and be as calm as kittens about it. And just like kittens aren't exposed too fast to the outdoor world after being born, so our alien owners keep us in this safe little box, spoon-feeding us visions and guidance until we're old enough to escape.

Luke Brown: Third Eye Gomorrae

2011-03-28T10:35:00.001-04:00

Salvia Dalinorum (reversed) - Luke Brown c. 2006

Visit Spectraleyes.com to see more genius works by this artist. His name is Luke Brown and according to his website "His art has been shown internationally with such visionary heavyweights such as Alex Grey, HR Giger, Robert Venosa and Ernst Fuchs. He is currently a resident of the lush Elfinstone rainforest in BC Canada, one of an infinite number of parallel universes in which he resides within simultaneously." (more here) One look at his amazing art, and I don't doubt these words one bit.

Greenman - c. 2004 Luke Brown

Baphoment - detail (c. 2006 Luke Brown)

Seeing his work for me is like a man who's been to Africa and no one believes his stories of giraffes and elephants, then he goes to the zoo and is like "wow! So I'm not crazy!" Beeee-yootiful!

Whoa!! The High Voltage Larry Carlson!!

2011-03-03T14:16:00.000-05:00

My buddy Max just turned me onto this guy. Dude! I've 'seen' a lot of this stuff on my astral voyages! We used to call this kind of bloke a 'high brother' - check it out if you haven't already heard of him.

From the Satanic Rite to the UFO to the Afternoon Nap: Sleep Paralysis is coming to get you!

2011-02-24T12:52:00.004-05:00

Alexander Binder c.

Sleep paralysis: just because science has a name for it doesn't mean it can't be supernatural. There is undoubtedly a link in all the above phenomenon if for no other reason than the idea of moving in and out of alternate reality.

"Every movement became impossible, and every scream was smothered by the plant material that was growing around his mouth and throat. Thoughts raced through the mind: This wasn't a nightmare, the reality of the room was far too distinct and his perception and thinking were far too clear. Were the plants taking revenge on humankind, or had aliens conquered the planet?" The above account sounds like a scene from a bad horror movie. But it isn't. Dr Stephan Matthiesen, a physicist at the School of Geosciences, University of Edinburgh, sent me the account last year saying he had personally experienced this terrifying scenario and lived to tell the tale. It's taken from his book The Normality of Altered States of Consciousness. Dr Matthiesen is a scientist and looked for a rational explanation of what had happened. He was right do so, because what he had experienced was an example of a surprisingly common phenomenon known as sleep paralysis. Many similar experiences have been reported to the Anomalistic Psychology Research Unit I coordinate at Goldsmiths, University of London. One of our students, Peter Moore, used to suffer from sleep paralysis on a regular basis. One night, for example, he awoke to find himself unable to move and with a strong feeling of tension across his chest, making it almost impossible to breathe. He could see his bedroom and managed to tilt his head, only to see an evil-looking black cat sitting there hissing at him. But what was most terrifying about this vision was that the cat's white skull was inverted and dripping some sort of black goo. By a huge effort of will, he finally managed to break out of his paralysed state with the intention of attacking his visitor, only to find himself delivering a right hook to thin air. Jeremy Deane, a fellow student at Goldsmiths still suffers regular attacks of sleep paralysis, particularly if his usual sleep pattern has been disrupted. As is often reported, he can experience multiple episodes in a single night. His experiences typically involve paralysis, difficulty breathing, strange proprioceptive hallucinations such as his body vibrating, and bizarre "hyper-real" visual hallucinations during which objects may metamorphose into nightmarish objects. For example, clothes lying on the floor may become dead bodies or a ceiling fan might turn into a "faery" with the blades as wings and the central bulb as an animate, speaking face. In his own words: "The experience is usually terrifying, but I have been able to control it and sometimes it has been very pleasant (occasionally there can be a sexual element, or 'floating' feelings accompanying what appears to be an out-of-body experience). "Common images are bearded, goblin-like demons laughing or whispering sinister speech, a faceless girl (usually covering her face with hair, moving around in bed moaning and feeling my body), hands appearing from the wall and attempting to strangle me. A hung man talking in the corner of the room, and some of the most bizarre experiences may include up to a dozen 'critter' entities (think Gremlins movie) laughing and talking about me. The environment tends to feel like a holographic dollhouse, the experience peaks and then the hallucinations mysteriously vanish when I regain control of my body." ....Although most people do not opt for a paranormal interpretation, the experience is so common it only requires a small percentage of sufferers to do so to account for the very large number of claimed paranormal encounters. Sufferers can be just as terrified by the experience even if the episode does not involve any ostensibly paranormal content, sometimes experiencing their unwanted intruder as a burglar, a murderer or a rapist. Even sufferers who are well-informed about sleep paralysis and do not experience the more florid symptoms described above still experience intense fear unlike anything they experience in waking life. This strongly suggests that the fear is not a consequence of the experience but an integral part of it, possibly caused by over-activation of the amygdala, the part of the brain that is responsible for fear. This is illustrated by an account from Lori Ball, a healthy 53-year-old woman from Ohio who is not only well-informed about sleep paralysis but is actually cognisant of what is happening to her while it's happening: "I try to scream (though I have great difficulty making any sound), attempt to flail around, anything, to get the attention of my husband. It is a feeling of panic, entrapment and desperation so horrifying that I have difficulty describing its magnitude. "If my spouse notices my discomfort and responds, in my mind it's never soon enough. One cannot simply tell me to 'wake up' and tap me on the arm. Often I need to be shaken somewhat to be fully present. At that point I wouldn't care if he slapped me hard as the terror of being in that paralysed state, totally helpless, is overwhelming. Knowing that it will end eventually is of no comfort. Every second is hell." (read more here, at the Guardian)

Afternoon naps are often strange affairs that are a bit like fishing in the unconscious sea and being able to examine your catch in the sunlight, rather than the all-night net casting deep sea drift of real 7-8 hour sleep, where you awake with your catch long since released or sold at market, and nothing to show for it but sleepiness.

When I read David Icke's descriptions of Satanic rituals conducted by the ruling elite in service of their reptilian overlords I think of ROSEMARY'S BABY and the Satanic panic of the 1980s, and yes, to an extent I believe in the Satanic 'repressed memory' phenomenon, but then again, this is nothing new, it goes back to the Middle Ages. One of my own relatives, Mary Easty, was hung as a witch in Salem, MA in 1692 (another relative, Mary Edwards, escaped). And I see the current mindlessly draconian persecution of non-violent drug users as similar to this hysteria, a hysteria that could only be born of misunderstanding, fear and resentment towards those who dare hint that this reality may be only a stepping stone to something better.

Some psychedelic drugs 'open' your eyes and mind to vast dimensions which the average person terrified in his little suburban shell, doesn't want to see and fears those with opened minds will then have an advantage. It's paranoia but I think simple 'paranoia' doesn't quite describe this phenomenon. Who hasn't been resentful about not being included in a special invitation, not invited to the party? Drug users form their own inner clique, not unlike what conspiracy theorists imagine is going on in the highest levels of power, only in this case the concept of 'power' is itself being undermined.

Someone deep in an LSD experience for example, can move completely outside the mind-control grip of 'Power' as embodied at the highest levels of law, capitalism, military, police, education, medicine, etc. The whole structure these elite groups have set up is revealed as just one belief system that's been ironed onto the forehead of its controlled population. It's as easy to step out of as a dream, though, if you can find a little booster rocket and you're wearing the right shoes.

On the other hand, this power elite-instilled 'dream' of 3-D time-space is very easy to stay in, and hard to escape for long, and people live their whole lives in this dream - never daring to doubt that you must do whatever your doctor tells you, never question what they give you to take, never doubt you should pay your taxes or obey the rules, never question the common opinions that have you sneering at the ideas of UFOS yet believing half-heartedly in Jesus, for example, trying to hedge your bets, afraid of looking foolish (but to whom?) if you commit 100% to your beliefs, and then they turn out to be false.

In the below flow chart I set up you can see how dark negative energy (the dark green) works in the overlaps and cracks between different forms of reality. We're trained to dismiss nearly everything but the yellow and maybe some of the black (as far as psycho-analysis and the 'meaning' of dreams) but in failing to comprehend the whole structure we're like flowers who presume their root system has no relation to our daily life since we can't see it. Perhaps we've been trained to think this by evil groundhogs who want to eat up our roots and so what better than to convince us they don't matter for our life? Thus the DNA code strings our scientists don't understand is dismissed as 'junk.' And sleep paralysis can never be more than what it looks like from the outside, sleep.

Questions asked about the difference between alien abduction, Satanic ritual, hypnotic regression, and sleep paralysis unanswered: at what point does an alien abduction differ from a nightmare? At what point are false memories created as a kind of warped mirroring of they hypnosis session itself?

David Icke strongly believes in the idea of a widespread Satanic network at the highest levels of government, but is this occurring in the same 'conventional' shared reality, or on a higher psychic plane? I'm thinking of the children in the 1980s who's hypnosis-derived testimony sent dozens of ordinary people to jail. They hypnotists found after awhile that the more sessions of hypnosis with the kids, the more memories until it became obvious the stuff they were recalling could not have happened, at least not all of it, otherwise there wouldn't even be time for these kids to make it to school, or eat dinner.

When I was around five or so I was deeply traumatized by a nightmare, clear as day, that started from what I assume was the urge to get up in the middle of the night to go down the hall to the bathroom. I was sleeping in front of the bathroom door and slowly kicked it open with my foot, but instead of the usual bathroom floor there was a giant white tiled, brightly lit pit below the door frame, and at the bottom sat a huge man, at least 18 feet all, with jet black hair and beard stubble, wild-eyed, in a hospital gurney. I tried to get up and get away but I was powerless to move or resist. He grabbed me in the stomach area with his huge hands and proceeded to just push his fingers into my stomach and chest, causing me excruciating agony while he laughed a huge laugh. It went on and on, the agony was unbearable. I woke up in the morning feeling traumatized by the pain and was afraid to go to sleep for months afterwards.

Now in the light of our pedophile-centered society that could easily be read as a 'cover memory' of being molested, either by a home invader or my own father. However, even in the morning I knew it was a dream and had no fear of my father or anyone else. I remembered it vividly, but it had no associations with anything 'real' - what it most resembled was something I saw a bit later, Nightmare on Elm Street, only without the knives and crazy hat.

So on the one hand it was just a dream; on the other hand, the pain I felt was so real I remembered it and felt it for weeks (not in a physical, actual abuse way, but in a 'psychic memory' way). So what was it? It was certainly one of the most traumatic things in my childhood, but no one could help me cope with it, as it was 'just a dream' - was I in fact molested by some astral traveling mental patient, ala Fritz Lang's TESTAMENT OF DR. MABUSE?

I would say now based on the weird 'facts' I know from the above chart, that I was sucked into the green area from the dark circle of my dreams (see above chart) and mauled by a maniacal spirit (I recognized a little of this spirit man's insane energy in the character of 'Bob' on TWIN PEAKS, above) who had somehow managed to crazy his way into the spaces between our conscious realities.

I would say that in this model then, sleep paralysis would be a kind of tractor beam from the dark green oval at the top of the chart, pulling those too close to the edge between sleep and 3-D wakefulness into the hands of the grays or whomever wants to screw around with your astral body. All this doesn't mean I doubt the validity of real 3-D space time abductions both by aliens and Satanists as well. Children disappear all over the world every day, and it's chilling. But I do think there has to be more to it, just as there's more to nearly everything.

This also explains the vast network of Satanic ritual memories 'recovered' via hypnosis in small children. With a little coaxing I'm sure I could have 'recalled' my dream in Satanic signifier terminology, and perhaps it was a ritual, perhaps this guy had a lock of my hair or something and was using it in a black magic ceremony somewhere far off in his remote viewing / astral travel, white-tiled prison cell. I think that in terms of hypnotic regression and 'recovered' memories that on some level the person under hypnosis is describing (when dealing with both alien abduction scenarios AND Satanic rituals - don't forget in each one the victim is generally lying down on a table of some sort, i.e. sleeping) what is happening in that moment. That is to say, the process of hypnotism and being under the control of an authority figure / hypnotist / doctor is immediately fictionalized, given the cover of dream symbolism, and returned by the patient to the hypnotist in this symbolic variation.

That reading can seem mighty dismissive, but remember I'm in no way denying the validity of these 'recovered' experiences, many of which have been verified by independent sources (i.e. two abductees remembering each other under hypnosis, even though they had no actual contact outside of the 'experience.') I believe there is ample evidence for alien abduction, including Dr. Leer's recovered implants. That said, we're still talking about beings who clearly are not limited to the 3-D time/space linear swamp of human perceptions, they probably work beyond even our own conceptions of life and death.

If western science doubts the validity of these ideas they merely show themselves to be in their own private dark ages as what science can't explain can fill a book, and what a book it is!
Trying to pin this stuff to a linear time-space-matter-consciousness model is like arguing the impossibility of space travel due to the great distances between stars, as if no other conception except linear space time is possible, even though Einstein and atomic physics proves otherwise. Scientists in the 19th century would have scoffed and hung you for witchcraft if you told them it would soon be possible to fly from New York to California in half a day. That, they'd tell you, will never happen, the distance is too great. As for putting man on the moon, ridiculous (though David Icke maintains that didn't actually happen!).

The physicists find out about the way electrons work, the more astonished they are as literally everything the crazy mystics ever wrote is proven true. One day our scientists might even have the nerve to let go of their proton colliders and lab coats altogether, and just take a bunch of psilocybe cubensis mushrooms and float in a deprivation tank again, like William Hurt in ALTERED STATES. What they experience might show them the myopia of their thinking when it comes to space travel and alien life. In insisting on using this very rigid model of reality, they shut out a good 99% of what is really going on. Metaphors for this would include the scientists who scoff at the impossibility of the very monster that is in the process of devouring them in films like BEAST FROM 20,000 FATHOMS, IT CAME FROM BENEATH THE SEA, etc.

Man Ray - Marquise Cassati

Our fear of being laughed at, and laughter and peer pressure is the best defense of the status quo. As long as we all deny the reality of the wolves outside our camp perimeter maybe we can sleep at night. Therefore anyone who says there are wolves is ridiculed. It's for the good of the sleepers to think that whatever you can see within the range of the fire is all there is. But the danger is in forgetting the wolves really are there. They exist. Forget them at your peril! Don't let the bugs bite, because they just might not be bugs at all...

Blue Testament: The History Channel's Hot Hot Hell

2011-01-31T10:04:00.003-05:00

Watching the weirdly theologian-ish "The Gates of Hell" on the History Channel this weekend was a pretty intense experience, but once again--as with so many quests for holy knowledge-- seemed bogged down in first laying out a very dogmatic and literalist interpretation (i.e. you can get to Hell via volcanoes) and then arguing against it, with smarmy scholars who note that as far as eternal torture goes: "Those who call it Christian pornography may not be far from the mark."

I've seen and experienced various hells over the years on various trips, medications, fevers, withdrawals, panic attacks, in hospital waiting rooms, and in the cinema. Recently I'm reading all about aliens whenever I can, and psyching myself up for Apocalypse 2012. I'm seeing all the dots connected, the underground military bases where the Reptilians live and store body parts and soul energy in little foodbar-size batteries that seem to the inhabitants like a small cell that create excruciating pain and despair (you might say our despair and pain are the voltage we produce, so we have to be 'milked' -- the way slapping on the cow's dugs creates creaminess). And there those poor souls sit, trapped in the underground spaceship's battery pack, reduced to a reptilian 5th dimensional Duracell, beyond the help of time and space.

Thus "an eternal abyss of death and damnation" feels far longer than it is, but then that's the catch to living outside of time and space's handrails. A minute not only seems like a lifetime, but the meaning of 'minute' and 'lifetime' has become clearly irrelevant in such circumstances. I recall the big argument against teaching creationism at the climax of INHERIT THE WIND was that God couldn't have made the earth in seven days if there was no 'days' before earth was made (since there was no way to measure a day without the spinning axis of the earth). That catch-22 is all over the idea of 'eternal damnation' - eternity is the same as a hot second when you're beyond the confines of time and space, and stuck purely in the moment. Ghosts from 200 years ago don't feel they've been sitting around that long; they don't feel any concept of time. The Tibetan Book of the Dead talks about a 49 day time limit between bardos, but they mean the 49 earth days, which you can still witness if you haven't figure out how to move on.

Of course there's the fractal nature of it all, so what in one dimension is a tweezers lifting you from the hell of a Bunsen burner to the spiritual ecstasy of a cotton swab, is God's bony fingers plucking you from Satan's ever-blooming flame garden back into your body in another, and scientifically it's a sudden surge of pineal gland activity, or if you're in the doctor's office, mere 'fevered hallucination' as a result of dehydration. A stoner might just see it as a bum trip, a monk as a moment of doubt, a Beverly Hills housewife as a nervous breakdown.

The questions these History and Nat Geo documentaries never ask are the most important: what 'you' do you mean when you talk of "being" in Hell, or being "imprisoned" in a dimension ruled by demons after death? Your body is on a slab in the morgue, so what part of the 'you' construct of a physical body with a brain and soul winds up "being in Hell" after you are dead? Is your physical tactile body present? Is it an out of body perception? A 'trapped' consciousness? On another level, aren't we as humans connected to each other-- and therefore partly in hell and partly in heaven all the time? On another level even higher, we're all in heaven but asleep to it. On another, in Hell, but awake to that we're asleep and powerless to change the dream to fluffy clouds instead of flames. You could change it the way you can calm down by concentrating on the breath, but are you breathing in a white light out of body experience?

Well, who put us in this prison of consciousness? The Devil, Beezlebub, The Zionist Conspiracy, or my own alcoholic slice and voth? One guy on "Gates of Hell" documentary talked of the out of body experience as feeling like he was standing up, his legs moving below the bed and through the floor, when he was lying in a hospital bed. Dude, I've felt that in my futon on the floor, upside down, so that my head was sticking through the floor, and right above me (i.e. below my bed) were a team of ghost greys tinkering with my brain. I was afraid to let go all the way because of my breathing - it was like a fallopian oxygen tube stopping the bubble helmet from sealing hermetically around my neck.

So let me give you a clue: when you're getting sucked into the Reptilian devil's vacuum soul collector remember that your soul is like a balloon, and the more happy and carefree and full of love instead of fear you are, the more inflated your soul becomes. The Reptilian devils want your soul to be half-inflated, in a little squirmy rubbery thing, all closed down and thick in density (the seven deadly sins are notoriously awesome soul-condensers) they can catch in their vacuum bag, while a the inflated one just rises right up, out of the vacuum's reach. They're not too worried about those. Their job is to shake their fist up at the soul and seem mad, but when the catch is this huge, you salute the plucky few who got away.

And if you imagine all that like a literal vacuum, or think the gates to Hell are a real volcanic place, then I think you're off the mark... not that there's not reptilian bases all over the world, and maybe some used to be at those spots or still are. But I don't believe the Old Gods that Lovecraft hallucinated and who control our politicians are to be taken literally, which is why they try so hard to make you think on those 'literal' levels. Indeed those literal levels were created for just such a concealment. A fifth dimensional being who wants to exploit you is going to convince you that there is no fifth dimension, and you just want to exploit yourself: "I don't know why, but I really don't want to pay attention to the man behind the curtain. And I think anyone who pays attention to the man behind the curtain should be shot." It's only when you step away from your mindset that these incongruities reveal themselves.

Amen, but in this case the man behind the curtain really is invisible, so the only way to see him is to blow a lot of sage smoke around to get his outline, and that's why he never hangs around when a 'clearance' is properly done. Conversely, the more blood you spill, the more the green head projection may become solidified. Connect the dots and the difference between vampires, Reptilians, Satan, and God/s all but disappears.

So the 'you' who thinks the voice telling you to sacrifice virgins to the volcano is just your psychosis or insanity isn't the real you at all, but there's a 5th dimensional astronaut ghost puppeteer holding your strings, who will drink up your virgin's crystal white energy like it's Tang, and he will drink and be defined by her blood, like in HELLRAISER, and indeed Hell shall follow with her.

So how can you avoid this hellish soul sucking? Follow these handy steps:

1. Smoke - Reptilians hate smokers! Our soul energy gets all warped and invincible from the magic spirits of tobacco, and the smoke of the tobacco works similarly to sage as far as spirit repellant, though New Agers don't want you to know that. Keep incense and sage burning all the time.

2. Love Everybody! No exceptions. Imagine the people you hate the most and say prayers for them. Get right with God, i.e. your whole self which is the content of all you survey, hear and enact with.

3. Be light and happy in spirit, and help and be kind to dogs and animals.

4. Do unto others as you would if they were the you that you thought you could be, like the old man on the street is your child, and the old woman in the way.

5. Amass not great fortunes. Wealth breeds reptilian interest, and their insatiable greed and corrupt blood will bring you tumbling down into the abyss. Jesus said "A rich man entering heaven is like a camel going through the eye of a needle." You can read this in some sane way having to do with archeological finds, or you can see it as the way all souls enter heaven, for the camel to go through the needle it would need to be liquified and poured, long, slowly and steadily through the eye via an elaborate tubing process. It might take years, but that would seem like an eternity outside the cozy realms of space time. Isn't that the message? That we're all hanging on the ledge and having a comfortable dream that we're actually alive and safe in this ever decomposing and growing world? It's spinning like mad, this crazy planet we live on!! So spend and give freely, and never say no to a chance to sell out so you can infiltrate and dissolve the infrastructure of the Reptoid elite.

6. Be not obnoxious in your wisdom, for it doth turn real fast to dogma - Millions of people have lost touch with God and their Whole Self by presuming all faith is the same as the shrieking preachers and pious, dour old ladies from their childhood, being bored and restless in uncomfortable clothes on a Sunday better spent amok, and girls who stay virgins until they're married, by which time it's far too late to realize they're frigid and hate men. See? That was good advice. This doesn't mean you need to be nice to someone who means to do you harm, but just kill them with a kind heart, or take their blows the same way. It makes a difference!

7. Learn to melt, dissolve and evaporate your brain. When the demon gate guardians come, just open your arms to embrace them and become light and love, they can no sooner harm you than a blade can harm a ray of sunlight or a radio signal, for that is all you are, a combo of the two. Their job is to make you think of yourself as matter they can slice to ribbons.

It's comic the way we're trained to imagine our souls die when our body dies, that this is the common theme of atheism. Oh man, that's the true fantasy. If we didn't have to come back, how glorious! But it's ridiculous to think that with all the contrary evidence, and analogies. Does the radio station die if you turn off the receiver? If you are you so caught up in space and time and your little body arrow pointer that you forget you can also be the trees and the river, then you will lose the trees and the river, and the little arrow will be as a faun wandered from the herd in a land of devouring lions.

That's hell - not being able to change the channel from your prison documentary perception of yourself. Switching up into higher realms is so easy it defies description, hence is too impossible to relate in words. It's more about forgetting than remembering, more about giving up opposites than choosing good over evil. When you are at that level you are no longer the angel or the devil but the man taking tickets at the fight. And you are the bleachers, and the cheering throngs, and the broom that sweeps the blood. So clean up your hell ten feet square and get out of the ring. You don't even have to stay in the building. As easy as a shadow creeping across a graveyard, you exist unstoppably. You are the ocean and the sky and here in this dimension is where you, we, twist into clouds. And from our uneasy altitude we look down at the ocean like it's trying to kill us, to drag us back down, and the sun is trying to evaporate us from above, but somehow mocking us for we'll never make it all the way into the arms of its bright promise, and so we feel trapped between them, when all the while, we were them, and will be again, and again, and already are.

I guess one can't blame the History Channel for not picking up on that, but they did a great job with Ancient Aliens so all is forgiven.

Glennwiz VS Naturd

2011-01-26T13:03:00.003-05:00

This guy did some of the DMT hallucination graphics in INTO THE VOID, which makes him A-list! Check it out and blow thy mind

Bertolt Brecht Vs. The Aliens

2011-01-09T22:10:00.002-05:00

The issue of secrecy is one counter to the entire flow of media in our media saturated culture. We're so used to news feeding on itself, making public every last thing about everything... so when news goes in the opposite direction, it becomes cheap and unguarded... discredited. And yet, also a part of the culture. Everyone knows about it and jokes about it and yet through the joking about it, they believe it.

So what if the upper echelons of a black ops government used Brechtian post-modernism to simultaneously educate and placate the world on the subject of UFOs, aliens, and our spiritual future. And the worst part of all? You already know this to be true. Read all about it in Bruce Rux's classic book, Hollywood Vs. The Aliens!

There's two schools of thought on this issue, one of which is that the alien issue is a fabrication by black ops military to cover experiments with saucer-shaped craft pioneered by the Nazis, funding for them illuminated by Project Paperclip via the Thule Society. Another is that the truth of an alien presence is deliberately muddied via the tactics of post-modern Brechtian theater.

A classic way to imagine this would be via the films of Godard. There's a scene in CODE NAME: CARMEN, for example, wherein a shoot-out between sexy young terrorist bank robbers and French police is going on in a hotel where elderly residents read newspapers in the various seats around the lobby. As the gun melee goes on around them, the elderly register the events the way tolerant grandparents might react to their grandchildren running through the living room with toy guns, shrieking in their own private play world.

So are we meant to assume they also see the film cameras and know this is just a movie? How can we tell which is which as far as what's supposed to be 'real' within the film? By interjecting chaotic, comic elements into real-life bank robberies, for example, the situation can become confused. If you rob a bank dressed as clowns with someone filming like it's a Hollywood action film, how would people react? No one knows how to react in those situations. There is no correct response. A play or real life? Are we supposed to just know which is which? This confusion puts reality into a realm known as Brechtian post-modernism, where all these differences are transcended.

Now apply this to a UFO crash, something so unbelievable in and of itself, so out of the realm of normal experience that it makes a bank robbery look like a traffic light. Naturally as the Big Other government it's your job to placate the public, to keep them in the dark about the true nature of the universe so they can go about their business without panicking and starting a stampede. If you were to bring a psy-ops agent to a real alien crash scene and have him drop a Martian dummy nearby, something alien-like yet obviously faked, then the whole believability of the 'real' crash over the hill would be called into question, without you having to do anything about hiding the true evidence. By making a mask of an alien face and pulling it off a human being, you instantly relegate all alien faces as mere masks. If you know what the aliens look like, slip a picture or drawing to a reliable Hollywood producer, to make a film where the aliens look and act exactly like they do in 'real life,' Now if anyone sees them outside the inner circle there's no need to worry. Credibility is gone. At the same time, the intruding element would be removed from our conscious plane and shown a comfortable niche for itself below, in the realm of collective archetypal myth. Couldn't this also be a root reason for the demonic masks of tribal ceremonies throughout the world? In creating masks of demons, the actual demon is contained in the realm of fiction. Anthropologist called it mimetic magic. You can call it 'razzle-dazzle'!

X-Files fans can recognize this tactic as part of the Cancer Man's many tricks. While films like HANGAR 18 retrofit the truth with unbearably crappy special effects (the saucer [below] looks like a bunch of suitcases and the aliens look like they were kicked out of a Star Trek Next Generation audition room) their very cheapness actually makes their message more authentic, in the way we learn so much in school via splice-ridden film strips, faded educational documentaries, and outmoded bus safety films. HANGAR takes its ideas from 1970s paranoia films and its look from 70's TV like the Rockford Files: everything from NASA to the press to Air Force HQ to the president seems to all take place in a single wood-paneled shag rug bachelor pad. The titular hangar is just hanging out there in the wind, instead of deep inside rock like so many other things.

In HANGAR 18, the military crew under Darren McGavin are excited about the recovered alien craft:

"I saw it, Steve, saw it, Gates saw it."

"I know, I know," says McGavin. "And I saw it."

"Then why don't we look at the teleometry tapes?"

"It's not necessary... it's all going to come out in the report. That's all you have to know for now... everything's going to be all right."

That's all the public needed to know: everything was going to be all right. The extreme cheapness of these science fiction films about UFOS serves the same ingenious propaganda purpose: "Everything's going to be all right."

The whole issue of belief is central to American thinking, to the point where even atheists feel the need to trumpet loudly all they do not believe in. In Russia, HANGAR 18 was the first western movie shown on TV ever, and a whole generation of Soviet kids grew up to be diehard HANGAR fans. They know the events are true! Belief never even enters into it. Maybe that's part of their heritage vs. ours, and is something so eloquently discussed by Slavoj Zizek, that in life under communism everyone knew they were just pretending to believe in the communist system. Tyranny can set you free, because it shows you the folly of belief itself, leaving you free to just know.

Set and Setting: Top Ten Guide to 4th Dimensional Access

2010-12-07T15:14:00.001-05:00

In meditation--seduction, transcendence, tripping or just hanging loose--set and setting are everything, and that includes what's going on between your ears, as my old AA sponsor used to say. So benefit from my experience: let the cosmic sea of self propel you forward past the moldy fabric of reality's curtain and into the space spore-infused mystic, past time, past space, past/present. These ten additions to any armchair adventurer's arsenal may save your sanity one day, or help you lose it forever, and about goddamn time! Psychonauts, prepare to shucker loose!

1. "The Drone Zone" on Soma FM -- Ambient drones and ethereal calm, nonstop on web radio.
So many web radio stations make you listen to endless pledge breaks and dorky voiced station announcements. There's still some of that on Soma, but not a lot... not enough to break the spell. In the enlightened, or oceanic state, you must surrender the channel changer, Once you've been elevated, karmic law dictates you should float them a donation and get a Soma FM T-shirt, like I did. My picture's on their web site, exhaling!

2. Light-Sound Mind Machines - Sure you can go deep via years of disciplined meditation, but if you don't have the time to tune in, quit work and join an ashram, try getting one of these groovy machines. Using synchronized light and sound they're basically auto-hypnosis tools, and man oh man. Many of them can be synced up with music to enhance the experience. I've broken through on several occasions via light sound machine connect to Charles Mingus' "Black Saint and the Sinner Lady" and Coltrane's "A Love Supreme." With the help of the light pulses, I felt my inner voice 'become' Coltrane's sax or the muted trumpet in Mingus' album. One of the things it told me in it's 'waa-waa' voice was "Erich, you're truly insane now, if you hear my voice, you're totally crazy" and all the other instruments seemed to be laughing at me! I wasn't fazed though... if you believe the hype I'm already legally insane around 10 time over.

3. Mermaid Magick Incense. Sage in the form of smudge sticks can be found at an herb store, Indian specialty shop, or new age bookshop near you... but for the deep weird mixed smells, it's worth seeking out some handmade stuff and I know no better source than the amazing and reasonably priced Mermaid Magik Incense shop. I dig the Earth Church and Dream Snake sticks and can personally vouch for the effectiveness.

My idea is, when starting out, choose one type of scent and only use it during your practices, your deep mystic journeys. That way, after a few experiences you'll associate the smell with the other world and it will be easier and easier to make the 'jump.' Since its handmade and unique to the Mermaid site you wont need to worry you'll smell it on the street or in yoga class and go insane on the spot.

4. Decor/Lighting - Don't leave newspapers, magazines, or anything too mainstream, anything with contemporary associations, lying around. If you have books around, make sure they're aesthetically unique, i.e. ancient looking tomes with exotic gilded edges. Keep most non-aesthetic food out of sight, especially meats and eggs, chip bags, etc. However, fruit looks very good in an altered state, so a bowl of ripe fruit is not only okay, it's recommended, as are plants, flowers (as long as they're not dying), etc.

The idea in this case is not to escape reality so much as remove 'triggers' for pre-set emotions and feelings. Use candles for light, no neon! Colored low wattage bulbs are okay, but the more shadows the better. Cover white walls with exotic tapestries. Keep weird art books handy on the coffee table.

5. Time - Hide the clocks! The idea is to create a sense of timeless space, and spaceless time, and any signifier of how you live the bulk of your life harnessed to the revolving orb isn't helpful. Even if you just put a tapestry or colorful bandana over the digital face of your clock radio you're on the right track. Keep time via the breath... meditate with the breath... your breathing is all you need. It's like a life vest that inhales and exhales and is always afloat, tick tock, whoosh!

6. Visual Media - Movies are a good way to wind down from a mystical experience, but not really that "positive" beforehand. Keep the TV off, way off.

But if you're having trouble coming down, may I recommend some Betty Boop cartoons? Disney's too creepy, WB to spastic and violent, but Betty is just right.

7. Cell phones off! - Don't kid yourself, they 'know' when you're being bad or good, as the aliens use cell phones to keep an eye on you. Imagine a giant grid of small pulsing lights at alien central: a sudden flash of 4th dimensional wall-breaching in a lotus-positioned voyager will light up like their switch boards like an Xmas tree. As they move in around you, the sounds of the house settling start to shift violently and weird noises outside--sirens, dogs, wind-- will speak to you, the way alien voices can interject themselves in everything from the falling of water to the stepping of jackboots.

8. Tobacco - Don't be a wuss! Tobacco is powerful medicine, and keeps any Native American spirits who may be present at a respectful distance. Know this: all plant spirits live even in the dead matter of their substance - their DNA writhes through you - every inhale of a plant's dried essence is a marriage. Let your mind be a garden, full of divine sage, mighty morphin' power tobacco, and crazy jester tetra-hydra cannibinol. Side effects may include: hastened death, prolonged respiratory illness, and yellowed teeth, but do you really want to live forever and hold America back with your knee-jerk atomic age fears, the way the elderly voting bloc are holding us back today?

9. Krishna Das - If things get too weird, turn to the music of Krishna Dass, who's moody mellow baritone voice will rock you back into harmony. I especially love his "Mountain Chalisa" off
Flow of Grace: Invoke the Blessings and Empowerment of Hanuman with Sacred Chant from Krishna Das

Part of accessing the inner daemonic realms involves getting through the daemonic TSA checkpoint... these demonic security guards don't just make you take off your coat and shoes... your memories, beliefs, and body have to be ripped away and shredded before your very eyes while you struggle to act cool. If you so much as sniffle in protest or fear they'll rip you up and kick you back down to the 3-D plane... so... love the demons who rip you to shreds. Accept your own mortality and the transience of all things. Do this and you'll be floating through the metal detector and onto paradise before you know it. The voice of Krishna Dass is the closest thing yet to a life vest in this instance, floating you beyond their thorny reach.One listen to that baritone mix of manly sorrow and unearthly joy and you feel safe, loved, and beyond it all.

10. Water - Drink a lot of it, and tea! I'm shooting off this figure off the top of my head, but I'd bet a good 70% of mind-expansion-related mishaps (i.e. the kids who wind up shivering in the corner or taken to the chill-out tent) occur because of dehydration.

So... this post isn't meant to condone any form of substance ingestion, nor is it one of those dopey tirades against it. Don't trust the pundits on either side of the issue. No one path fits all. Research and make your own informed opinions. Everyone wants you to be like them, don't be... don't let your sponsor talk you into a three-day men's retreat in the mountains if it doesn't feel right, and don't hesitate to take the psychedelic plunge just because all your friends at the Phish show are scared to join you... if it calls to you, go for it...if it doesn't, don't. Most of all, don't let some mediator creep between you and the direct and personal realization of transcendental spiritual experience! Using all the above steps, you just might feel the electric hand of God on your shoulder. Isn't that better than some smelly bible at a smelly old church, with a smelly old priest droning on and... zzz?

Remember, just be yourself, your real self not the self the dorks who tell you to be yourself think you are. But though you may court insanity, try to be physically safe! Only venture outside when you're already in the 'zone' so you know you can handle crossing the street. And believe me when I say this: you cannot fly. xoxoxo

---- guest writer Dr. Morphius "Twillie" Twilite, the X / 2009

The Cheshire Cat Style

2010-12-01T10:09:00.000-05:00

What is the difference between hallucinations and waking life? Are dreams the third eye vision of alternate realities?

Take the Cheshire Cat for example which exists with 'just a smile' now there are many ways to interpet this, some very literally, like the EXORCIST: THE VERSION YOU'VE NEVER SEEN, some less so.

What about the audio?

I've had episodes where my own thoughts were spoken to me by the crazed horns in Mingus’ Saint and the Sinner Lady album. The repeating squawks now becoming a human voice, my voice, our voice, The Voice, for it has always only been one voice. Mingus will drive you mad as the tension builds the drama increases up and up and up until you have to tear the headphones from your ears but you suddenly have no hands to do that with, you are erasing yourself with each passing bar because your attention is not focused on the matrix, on the reality of the day, you are having your freak out where you look at your arm and all you see is electromagnetic radiation coalescing into what you knew was an arm.…. in advance.

This is the gravy moment, the near death coasting where all us trippy artists got to go visit at least once in awhile. Where thought and expression become one thing, to say is to create, to hear your own voice emerges in the sound of the tree falling the the woods. You think in rain, and breathe in wind. The fear God is to be killed by God to love god is to be god, to hide is to disappear to die is to be reborn to panic is to drown to love is to be absolved and to chant and pray is to help the wheel itself keep spinning. And then there is a sudden break and just the bass and piano are left and the song ends and you realize only three minutes have gone by.

The 100 year-long MP3

2010-11-07T15:00:00.000-05:00

I dreamed I was given a hundred year long song on an mp3. It felt liberating. I would not have to make any future jukebox selections in this lifetime, it was going to outlast me, it proved there had to be time for not only it to play out but to have been made. My ego couldn't fail to admit it - the world didn't begin and end with me, if lucky and depending on when I received the mp3, I could maybe hear 3/4 of it. And then of course, somewhere I knew someone was listening, to not only this 100 year-old mp3 but others. The truth about the universe seeped past my defenses in that moment, and the little tornado that thought itself alone was unwrapped back into the sky.

Each drug leaves its card, and steals something on its way out. They give their estimates, they do their magic tricks. After years they begin to repeat themselves. Some are like dogs all crazy that you hang onto their leash as they tear out the door and you just hope you're wearing water skis. Others are sullen and mopey and good for little except whatever it takes for you to not kick them out. If you cut them from your regimen, they mark up the floors with their switchblades so at least you know they were there. And others still are wise and enigmatic and if you didn't learn the last lesson before coming back, they scare you to death with threats and clockwork stabbing motions. All eventually wear out their welcome, for our ego is a restless and impatient host, forever singling out one or another of the guests as the sole reason the party's not going great.

Most people have no idea what's truly involved. Most people can't imagine sacrifices beyond relatives and possessions, and pets sacrificed on altars. It's the who who is sacrificed for involvement in enlightenment to be complete. You alone will be left to pat the final piece of earth around your grave. If you can imagine patting down your own grave, and imagine being the other mourner who finally walks away, then you are halfway to being on your way back home from death, but first, there is the blackness and no amount of running will speed the slow revolution of the black marble.

The process of moving, that is changing your address and packing up your shit and letting the post office know, is as close as many of us come to that level of total involvement. Not even our own death or a loved one's can be as drastic a step. But the more resistance and panic you have towards moving, the more sloth-like and attached you have become, obviously! You've grown into the wood and the walls and ages from now they'll bring in special spectrometers to look for your ghost. Show us a sign! Or begone.

The enlightened one leaves no ghost, no shadow, no footprints, no feet. His skeleton hangs in every science class, his skull is used for ancient ceremonies, his eyes are suns in distant lands. "His" eyes. That's not even right, for the possessive can no longer apply. His eyes are ours and, when we give ours up to the worms and the smoky sky, his are what we shall see through. But who can give up his own eyes? Imagine yourself wrapping up all your possessions for the movers. The movers come and take all your stuff and leave you with nothing, not even money, they take your shoes and throw you into a street that is empty. And if you can then whistle a tune as you walk away, thou art saved. Or homeless. There is no difference.

Bergman from Beyond

2010-09-27T12:29:00.001-04:00

Is it a coincidence that the mysterious 'portal' of "Desteni" looks so much like a Bergman character herself? She's got thousands of videos up on youtube. Her hair cut is about the only discernible evidence she ages. She's a little pixie combination of the young boy in PERSONA and Bibi Andersson. On the one hand I'm vaguely enthralled. On the other, vaguely ennervated. Watch too many of her weird 'interviews' and you get the feeling you've simultaneously learned the secret of life and been subjected to a 20 hour performance art piece by your precocious niece who may or may not be trying to get you to join some Scientology-ish UFO cult.

And Bergman comes back through her to say howdy!! "I'm in HEAVEN! I'm alive but... in a different way." Needless to say, if you are positive it's NOT Bergman's spirit talking through her then are you really less dogmatic than someone who is positive it is? Don't dwell in absolutes, my friends! There are none. Be like Charles Fort! Be like Sherlock Holmes! Be like Carl Jung. In this case I'd advise being very Jung, for regardless of your vote, the whole Bergman Nordic blonde waif death connection is fascinating in and of itself, an example of the gray area where art, death, blondes, and the Unknown all meet.

But I'm impressed by the sheer volume of information coming out of this Nordic alien-looking portal chick, and the way you think well, if anyone would come back from the grave to say "Hi! I'm not sad anymore!" It would be the man who gave us CRIES AND WHISPERS, PERSONA, THE SILENCE, and PASSION OF ANNA. Oh and so many more!

The Future is Written in the sci fi genre

2010-09-22T20:03:00.000-04:00

Recently there's been a commercial for PCs, part of the "I invented Windows" campaign, with a college nerd happily sitting outside his dorm room (while his stud roommate runs a "tutoring session" which presumably never ends.) Said nerd's happiness stems from his ability to get movies beamed directly into his laptop, which he then watches with his handsomely clunky headphones on, presumably cranked for all the sci fi explosions.

The message: you don't even need a place to "live" if you have a PC. What is contentment after all but endless streams of free movies that you can play as loud as you want, all by yourself regardless of the size of the crowd around you? I'm not judging. Just seeing the writing on the wall, admitting my part - for no one loves avoiding people in favor of the internet as much as me, well, that's probably not true, not anymore.

I want to connect this commercial in your mind with a novel by William Gibson, All Tomorrow's Parties, in which a character lives in a box, inside a box owned by a weird figurine maker inside a subway. The guy lives on cough syrup and shivers in his cold sleeping bag, but he's plugged into the web, so he's barely in his body at all. He's sneaking into secret areas trying to rendezvous with the first totally cyber superstar, or something like that. I never finished the book, but well I remember that character. Other notables in the future of Gibson herein include lightweight electric cars, and rampant shanty town living. Even the Golden Gate Bridge is a long row of makeshift housing with no electricity. (The guy in the box is in Tokyo, not that it matters where you are, by then).

I've long imagined a future which is already here, wherein a stranger coming out of, say, a Russian gulag, finds the whole world seemingly asleep, sprawled on streets, sleeping on one another in train stations, barely moving, just hooked up to their laptops, directly, for screens and speakers will soon seem stupid, why have anything interfering when you can just tune directly in?

If then, everything is a fractal of everything else, as I believe it is, then this has already happened, and space time itself is a virtual illusion. I believe this to be true. The proof snakes before us in an endless Moebius Strip. Therefore, the grays are us in the future, and the future is us in the grays. Beware the fictions you create, for they are more true than you will ever be able to fully know. But you know just the same.

The shamans are the techs!

2010-09-20T18:41:00.002-04:00

Through the Worm: Scientists, Intergalactic Travel, and daemons

2010-09-11T14:20:00.005-04:00

It's charming to see scientists on 'legit' space documentaries like Morgan Freeman's Through the Wormhole on the Science Channel (tm), explain how unlikely it is that UFOs could travel from other galaxies, since they're millions of light years apart - and yet these same scientists posit the existence of worm holes and parallel universes, and superior technology, but then if anyone puts two and two together they get scoffed upon.

If you'd have posited that in the future everyone in the world would be walking around with tiny phones that can reach anyone in the world anywhere at any time, they'd have told you flat out such things were impossible. Wireless radios, maybe... but satellite telephone service affordable to even the local ghetto youth? The only one who saw and wrote about a future where our external world is all pverty stricken and everyone lives in a digital other realm? Only William Gibson.

I'm not even sure I 100% believe in it even now, and I have a cell phone like everyone else. But unlike most people, I'm skeeved out by the thought of what sort of inter-dimensional space dust might be on those bouncy signals I'm sticking in my ear. Frankly, I don't believe it works. I think it's just a hypnosis machine that convinces people they've called each other in the past.

It's hard to imagine these kind of vast spaces between solar systems being traveled, even at light speed, but try to think of it in fractal terms - the distance between our galaxy and the next may correlate to the distance between one atom and the next in a single molecule of our fingernail. Would scientists really be so blind as to theorize one could never get from point A to B on a fingernail just because of all that space between atoms?

It's really a matter of point of view, which makes everything relative, including science. In this case the relativity is the size of the being, the notion of time as well. Imagine for example a planet that spins faster than ours, with days and nights scrolling by. They come visit us and move so fast we can't even see them, like the FLASH of your American comics. We say they are poltergeists, we say they are angels, blurs in the sky. They see us as this slow creatures stuck in a kind of melted time freeze frame life, just begging to have our pockets picked.

Another aspect to consider is anti-gravity, as explained by Bob Lazar who allegedly reverse-engineered UFOs for the gov'ment. Basically the way it works is by creating a gravitational field that basically sucks the ship forward, so inside the ship it doesn't actually feel like you're moving at all, because your field of gravity is artificially maintained. Questions to ask abductees who've been onboard spacecraft would be what is the gravity like? Do you see the aliens with your eyes closed, open, or both? Do they seem 100% real in 3-D, or are they kind of blurred and shape shifting, like hallucinations?

If we're foolish enough to think we begin and end in physical bodies trapped in time space on this spinning rock, then yes of course, we'll never get to drive to the far side of the universe. If we realize that the entire contents of the universe from the big bang to now exists in every facet of our entire being, then reaching Orion's belt is as easy as buckling up before driving to the store.

We shouldn't be training astronauts, but psychonauts (hence this blog's title) and maybe we are, in art school, or yoga class, shamanism, Buddhism, Aboriginal ceremonies so secret we know nothing of them, or through Reiki. The human soul is not bound by size, dimension, time or space, and so we can reach the other side of the universe as easy as going to sleep if we allow ourselves that kind of release. Instead we hold ourselves tight in our bodies like a hermit crab in its shell who dreams of floating free with the current instead of being weighed down by his cumbersome housing, the draining gravity of real estate tax. Imagine a hermit crab trying to cross the ocean floor in a huge conch shell... it takes forever, but if it lets go and just floats it's across in no time. First though it has to let go of the fear it will be eaten as it will have no protective shelter. That's faith, though.You need faith to let go of yourself and slip between the cracks of reality, without the comfort of a physical body.

If you want to really 'see' beyond our three dimensions, you only need to meditate, or sleep, or go on a hunger strike, or ingest psychoactive molecules, or just be naturally crazy; you'll see and understand it all... and then you will read of these haughty scientists speaking of space light year distances making interstellar space impossible and laugh like a giant who knows he has the whole Milky Way galaxy captured like a dot on the center of his tongue, which is to say, you will laugh like an infinitely small atom along a vast DNA chain who knows he dwells safely in the center of a giant's tongue. What enduring harm is possible to such a being? None. Wormhole has two meanings, and as into one we go, out of the other goeth our body back to soil. As Hamlet said, "a man may fish with the worm that hath eat of a King, and eat of the fish that hath fed of that worm, and so may a King may go a progress
through the guts of a beggar." See you soon, King!

Aliens do it up the nose: HARD Evidence

2010-08-19T12:56:00.004-04:00

In the decades I've been casually following the incredible body of alien theory (starting back when it seemed the only books on the subject were Communion by Whitley Streiber and Chariots of the Gods), and shuffling it in with my own shamanic experience and that of writers like Graham Hancock, Carlos Castaneda and Terence McKenna, I've gradually come to accept the probability that at least some of this stuff is true, and if even .01% is true then our current scientific paradigm is bunk, end of story. Aliens can't just 'half' visit Earth (well actually they can but that's a blog for another day!) Once this truth is accepted, all the hokey scientific speculation and "are we all alone?" pontificating seems only a more educated version of Middle Age Catholic hysteria. Any scientist not terrified of being tried for heresy would probably agree with Ufologists were they presented with the mountains of data and evidence that all fits together much better than the angry dismissals, belittlings, denials and cover-ups of the scientific and military community - if you approach it with a clear objective mind.

But I also see the value in keeping this stuff under at least some shadow of a doubt, as it helps control a very panicky, armed citizenry who "have enough problems" to worry about. One of our tax dollar services is that the government provides a kind of 'flat earth' cover-up, a "Go back to sleep, grandpa! Humans are still A-Number One!" lullaby for the riot-ready herd. I've compared the "are they really here or not?" debate as akin to the production code of Hollywood in the 1940s-50s, giving people both answers at the same time, so the children and moralists can believe they didn't (have sex) and the hip cats can know they did. And why not? It's basic psychology that once you give people a straight answer, they just ask ten more questions... until all mystery and excitement is drained from their lives. You do them a favor when you hide stuff, like hiding the polar bear's meat in hard to find places at the zoo.

If you want proof the people would panic at full disclosure, consider the reaction to Orson Welles' War of the Worlds broadcast in 1938. You can also see how the public aren't ready for disclosure by the way they expect the government and the law to supply 'answers' and 'solutions' to alien visitations. If you expect the government to prevent hurricanes, for example, the only thing they can do is order you to evacuate and/or board up your windows. If you demand they do something about the UFO probe hovering over your town, the best they can do is tell you it's a mirage, or a weather balloon, and to return to your homes. If you are smart enough to know it's no weather balloon, you are smart enough to know the cops can't do much about it, so why call them?

Instead you might examine the way you lean on 'the big Other' of government to protect you, the way a child would its parent at a scary carnival. Naturally the parent's job--if you're scared--is to tell you the monsters in the spookhouse aren't real. But if you're not scared, they do you a disservice by telling you... better you don't bring your parents along at all and pretend (i.e. know) to be scared for your little broth, and have a great spine-tingling freak out together. Why the need to feel that unless everyone else believes it, it can't be true? Why not be the only one on your block who knows the true score, and just keeps it to yourself, and your little brother? Don't run around like Chicken Little, just meditate, and keep reading all the great books on the subject.

Disinformation runs rampant, but I think the people who are controlling all this information are doing a bang up job at leaking it all out slowly enough alongside the false stuff that by the time 'the tipping point' comes we wont need to panic, and suddenly instead of UFO nuts being picked on, those who don't believe will be made out to seem like repressed weirdos of the "world is flat" variety.

By case in point, there's a documentary right on Netflix streaming, amateurishly done almost by intention, that collects 'the best evidence' of all the UFO material, including Bob Lazar's famous interviews, analysis and presentation of alleged Roswell crash material and something I didn't know of at all before, the work of surgeon Roger Leir, a doctor who has removed 11 implants from abductees and has had enough analysis done on them to know the material they're made of is distinctly extraterrestrial, and what's more, in the areas of the body where they've been found there is no evidence of any kind of infection, antibody resistance, scarring, or anything to indicate a human stuck those things in there (such as inside the jaw near the bone, etc.)

If you don' have Netflix streaming (the documentary is called CLOSE ENCOUNTERS: PROOF OF ALIEN CONTACT) you can read all about Leir's findings and qualifications on the web, including UFO Digest:

Normally there is an inflammation response to any foreign object in the body. This results from white blood cell activity in the area, attempting to rid the body of what it considers garbage that doesn't belong there. If the object is something soft, like a sliver, the body is able to disintegrate it and take it away one piece at a time. If the body can't remove the foreign object, it does the next best thing. Thousands of cells join together in a process called differentiation, changing form and surrounding the object to wall it off and separate it from the rest of the body. Any type of foreign object placed in the body -- whether by accident, such as a splinter, or something surgically inserted by a doctor -- will show this type of inflammation. So it was extremely strange that the pathology reports on these objects showed no inflammatory cells at all.

Another strange thing was also discovered. In the tissue around each implant, there were numerous nerve endings that didn't belong there. None of the investigators could say why these nerve endings were there, but it suggests the possibility that the implants act as some kind of monitoring device through attachment to the nervous system. (...)

When Dr. Leir received the three different scrapings of the membrane coatings from Derrel Sims, he sent them out to three separate pathologists. When the reports came back, it turned out that the main ingredient in this very tough membrane was something simply made from blood. In this bloody mass were some brown granules. The pathologists did an iron stain test and found that these brown granules were made of oxygen-carrying pigment from human red blood cells. Besides this, they also found a material called keratin, which comprises the outer layers of human skin, hair and fingernails.

Dr. Leir pointed out that if medical science could figure out how to duplicate this membrane, we would solve one of the biggest problems in medicine, that of transplant rejection. The membrane around the objects was apparently composed of material from the patients' own bodies BEFORE the objects were inserted. If we knew how to do this, we could put almost anything into the human body and have absolutely no rejection.

Leir and Sims illustrated the structure of one of the implants taken from the woman's toe. When first removed, it was flat and triangular. When the outer membrane was removed, inside were two separate pieces of shiny black metal, tightly joined together in the shape of a "T". Apparently only the membrane itself held these two metal pieces in alignment.

On February 22, 1996, the first preliminary lab reports came back on the metal itself. Leir and Sims both said they would await the final reports before announcing any details. They stressed that they had sent the samples for testing to highly specialized labs and had not indicated anything about where the samples came from. Dr. Leir told the Thousand Oaks audience that the preliminary findings are "mind-boggling," and that the first metallurgist simply said: "Wow, you guys really found something here." Dr. Leir stated that as soon as they get final reports from all three labs, they will make their findings public. "I think you're watching history," he said in conclusion.

(UFO Digest 8/10)

Say what you will about that documentary, I found it very refreshing in its lack of skepticism. If you read the above and find yourself getting angry at how we're all getting taken for a ride by a quack doctor and his attention seeking gambits, then maybe you're just not ready to 'let this in.' That's fine. That's why I like that I had to 'look' for this evidence in a badly reviewed, left-of-the-dial documentary (two stars based on netflix viewer ratings!) rather than seeing it plastered on the front page of the Times where it would stir only a national panic.

And if it's not true, so what? Why let it make you mad that some people believe it? It doesn't directly effect the events of your day, so it needn't effect your life one way or another, any more than a house fly should be expected to worry about your taxes. Your job and family aren't in jeopardy by accepting the fact--pretty unshakable if you have an open mind--that 'they're here.' So what's the big deal? Why is science unwilling to even accept mountains of eyewitness testimony as the basis for even a workable hypothesis? Shall I tell you? Or do you know by now that once you open that door you can never close it, that admitting the truth will not provide us with answers so much as an infinite number of terrifying questions. Do we really want to learn that we're not on the top of the food chain after all? Do we want to know what really happens to the cattle, and the missing children?

There's so many documentaries on UFOs out there that are either a) conservative, no-risk science with flimsy rationalizations, b) full of obvious hoaxes almost to discredit the entire idea, and c) stuck at the "But what if...." stage. The CLOSE ENCOUNTERS documentary goes way past all that to become its own one-doc disclosure proclamation: "well... so they're definitely real, science now has its hard evidence, so what now?" I like that, it takes guts, and the shoddy construction of the film helps it go down with just enough dubious fringes--just enough BLAIR WITCH-iness-- that you can still fall asleep at night.

Gulf Breeze

I also like that it looks beyond the hang-up a lot of UFO researchers have about "disclosure," as if disclosure is the be-all and end-all, that once it happens all their worries will be over because they'll know for sure they were right, which is understandable if you're devoted to the study and have been doing all this good work for so long while idiots around you jeer and scientists wont let you in their dorky clubs, or that you're jonesing for some mainstream recognition, to become the Newton or Einstein of your day, but if you're not, why do you care so much what the government says? Even when they disclose they'll be lying.

Validation from Big Brother is just the curtain parting on an even bigger curtain. It's like THE WIZARD OF OZ suddenly reversed, with the gentle old man Frank Morgan as the mask in front--the sneering scientist declaring UFOs a lot of rot--and the crazy green face--terrifying in its size and scope like you can't imagine, waiting behind the curtain, and behind that, still another curtain to be pulled, maybe scarier, maybe stranger, maybe God-esque. Don't blame the shadowy sects who work so hard to spare you the shock and awesome horror. You'll thank them later, like you'd thank parents who didn't let you see THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE until you were at least 13 and so allowed you to grow up untraumatized. The government similarly won't tell you the CHAINSAW MASSACRE is not even a movie, and that in just two years you're going to get sawed up and served, literally, at the thanksgiving table of hungry reptoid pilgrims.

And anyway, even if it's not true, you can pretend you're pretending it's true for the scare effect, like THE BLAIR WITCH and PARANORMAL ACTIVITY (above, see also my Acidemic review).

It might be interesting for people still wrestling with whether or not aliens are on our planet, coming and going in ways our science can't comprehend any more than a dog can comprehend nuclear physics. And in our sly will-to-stay-sane-y way, we're playing right into their hands. At any rate, they like things as they are -- obviously. They don't want to land on the White House lawn like scared skeptics demand any more than nature documentary teams want to intervene in the matters of the the African Serengeti. Imagine a pride of lions reasoning that they're the highest life form in the universe, because if those humans at the edge of the preserve really existed, why don't they come forward and challenge the dominant male of the pride? Obviously as they have no fangs and claws, they're not real.

Arizona lights, 1997

Or, imagine a jeep of nature conservationists spotting lions attacking a gazelle and racing to stop it. "That gazelle had a family, goddamnit!" Since we don't do that, the gazelles think we're evil. "How can God the protector of our Eden actually exist if he lets this slaughter of our people go on?"

Or now take the metaphor further, the conservationists decide to tag the ears of some gazelles so they can monitor the population, and to check their blood and see what parasites they're carrying, etc.. So they grab a gazelle, take a blood sample, tag its ear with a plastic tag, and release it back into the wild. Maybe while examining him they notice he has ringworm, so they give him a shot for it. Then they release him into the wild and he gambols away as if nothing happened. The gazelle's brain isn't really hardwired to accept this strange event, but somehow this gazelle, even without a proper memory as such, feels that something weird happened to him, something not of his world.

His friends don't believe it; that plastic thing on his ear is probably a leaf and will fall off in time. They analyze the plastic tag in their gazelle labs (they nibble at it and do a taste test) and since it doesn't compare to any leaves they know of, and they can't eat it, they dismiss the tag as an tumor in the ear of said gazelle and quickly change the subject. There's lions to worry about!

Even more complex, different agendas persist: some humans invade and kill gazelles for sport, or to take their horns or meat, some just tag them or take pictures. There's not much gazelles can do about it, so they forget it. In dreams they remember the white men with the tags and needles as a lion, a lion with thin sharp venomous stinger claws, but only in dreams, cover memories, ways to try and fit the strange events of their lives into their normal existence. If the abducted gazelle demands the dominant buck do something about it, the only avenue said buck has, therefore, is to assure the herd this gazelle was only dreaming.

This conversation never happened. Do you deny it? Don't worry, aliens can't stand the cold germs that God, in his infinite wisdom, spread upon the earth, and every once in awhile a fast lion takes a human hunter down. They can be stopped. But first they have to be believed--and not in a half-assed 'oh yeah, military knows all about 'em' way, but in a "holy freakin' we're barely a pawn in this cosmic game and we're fin to get our asses kicked off the board any day now" way, and who wants to deal with that, except artists and crazy people? For they alone have always felt thus. Ask not for whom the flu germs toll, they toll for thee.

I Blur the Line

2010-07-24T17:58:00.001-04:00

One of the mission statements of this blog is to combine speculation with suspicion, parapsychology and para-science with outsider shamanistic intuition. Ideas like life after death, aliens, ghosts, inter-dimensional wormholes, are so out there that we can't really grasp them except through art, speculative fiction, etc. And part of that is no doubt tied into the very way the government disseminates UFO information to the public, shrouded in enigma and contradictory testimony, which is like what the 'code' of old Hollywood used to do with the question of 'did they or didn't they' in the fadeout between the night's kiss and the next morning's breakfast.

But thought out to its end game, the idea of military complex-spread disinformation is so tragically clever that it becomes a kind of structuralist super virus, one that multiplies within itself and spreads through human thinking and reason until the very foundations of truth vs. illusion, fiction vs. reality, and all other dualities crackle and dissolve like the skin of an plague victim.

There's no need to ask yourself if 'disinformation' as a tool exists, since it's so ingeniously simple to execute that a child could do it and often does; it's easy and fun and no government would be stupid enough not to employ it. The only thing is, a child doing it represents only himself and has a wolf-crier's trouble being believed after awhile. An organization devoted to propaganda within the military industrial complex, however, could easily keep spreading stuff, until even it doesn't know the full truth anymore. Reality itself splits at the top of levels into an acid trip of blurred and shattered boundaries between realms of existence.

Central to the idea of 'disinformation' - and what makes it compelling - is that it actually does contain kernels of the whole truth, which are then made inseparable from elements of pure fantastical speculation - but which is which? If we ever knew for sure, they would have to kill us. Or to paraphrase Hamlet, that is the question... but only if you have not yet understood the answer, which again brings us back to the concept of myth, like a ring around a goddamned Rosie.

Scientists each have their own ethical code but when it comes to, say, experimenting on the living brains of chimpanzees: all may not be of accord. Some may close their sense of compassion to the chimp completely off, refuse to grant it the courtesy of human emotion - see it merely as an animal. Another scientist may feel a connection and attempt to ease the chimp's suffering, teach it some rudimentary sign language, show it some TV. If all the chimps were then returned to the wild, in what sense would the 'altered' chimps be able to explain their abduction and tests at the hands of the humans in white masks and gloves, to their fellow apes? The humans would be angels or devils depending on which human scientist was in charge of them.

Some of the skeptic chimps might argue that since the fur of the 'abductee' contains no bite marks or claw marks where the humans opened his flesh then there is no 'evidence' of any operation. A stitched-up scar for example might be regarded as a row of insect bites or dismissed as an anomaly.

Reasons why the chimp was abducted would be so far outside their own realm of its thinking that the only way it could perhaps be understood was through a tribal song, a ballad about white tall ghost chimp gods that plucked apes from trees and brought them up to the sky to a giant termite mound, where they opened the chimp's heads with glowing termite sticks and ate their brains, replacing them with pieces of jungle fruit - gradually over the years as the stories accrued, the myth of the sky termites would twist and include agendae of different chimp kings. 'the hairless white Termite Gods told us that Magador must be the one true chimp king!'

Humans believe in a fixed consensual reality, even though mystics and quantum physics proves there is no such thing; yet it's a truth just too shattering to fully accept since to follow the reasoning to the end leads you back around to the beginning that all truth is fiction. But consider these different states that humans sometimes find themselves in-- and which we believe are normal at the time-- but that might be very different from 'consensual' reality. I list them below in order of what I believe is their level of intense weirdness:

'Reality' (consensual) - 3-dimensional, anchored in space and time

Dreams - 2 dimensional, outside space and time

Sleep Paralysis - 4th dimensional cracks (here is the level where time and space begin to melt off)

Fever - Delirium - accidental access to 4th dimension caused by neural overheating

Trance (via meditation) - same as above but intentional

Psychedelic / shamanistic vision - full on immersion into 4th-9th dimensions

Nirvana - All dimensions accessed / transcended, including space-time

Near-Death Experience / Death - 9th dimensional access, no return except via new opening through to lower dimensions. (Your body / tunnel through to space/time has closed behind you)

Now when we think of aliens coming to earth, or being here all the while, we only really think of the first level, the 3-D consensual reality. But what about the rest of the levels? Aliens might well consider, say, the third eye psychedelic inter-dimensional state a few humans sometimes reach to be much more 'real' and the place they do their visiting and invasion from. They could in fact see and exist simultaneously in all of the above dimensions and realms of thought, whereas we can be in 'only one' at a time, ideally... to them we might look like a giant water slide ride line -- humans in the line waiting to be born, they climb up into the light, are born, slide down the ladder and die, and go back around to start again in a new incarnation. Each time the human thinks that only the few minutes he's on the slide is when he's alive, and if he doesn't see any aliens in that brief time on the slide, when frankly, his attention is focused elsewhere, on the long tunnel tube in front of him, then they can't exist. Meanwhile there they are--far off in old people lawn chairs, drinking wine coolers--watching us play in the water until they see a weak one who needs to 'come out' and rest for awhile (and maybe be diced up and sent back into the primordial soup).

We can get an impression of just how close these beings always are when we have deep out of body trance experiences. As someone who more or less stumbled on the ability and could do it at will, sometimes, for a few months here and there (in 1987, 1991 and 2006), I can share some of the feelings involved in moving outside one's body:

One notable thing is the awareness of one's presence inside one's body, suddenly not being fixed to one's actual body, more like a brain with a long trail of writing jelly fish nerve endings that fill up various end points of the body, like a hermit crab might lodge himself inside a shell. So for example with some concentration you can let go of your auric tendril's hold on your physical form and 'feel' like you are standing vertically while lying in bed, let's say, or floating in place while your body revolves below you, or above you, there's no difference... your gravity can shift so that you are rotating with the atmosphere -- say the moon's gravitational drag holds your astral body in place while your physical body slowly rotates away below you in a slow clockwise direction. Or you can feel the magnetic pull northward lifting you up, ass first, out of yourself and up along the ceiling towards the north, only to gradually rotate around back into your form, with the slow measured regularity of a swinging hypnotists' pendulum.

Another is the sensation of being around much larger beings that are just out of sight, 'behind' the bands of light that constitute our aura, huge astral forms that watch over us-and by extension human consciousness -- the way parents reading the Sunday newspaper might watch over their 2-3 year old infant playing below their feet.

This was a recurring and very pleasant sense of presence I encountered during many sessions of deep astral meditation. At one point I found the hand of this being on my shoulder as I sat in the lotus position, as if it was sitting behind me, and put its giant, electromagnetically vibrant hand on my shoulder--like a cleansing lightning. For awhile this giant teacher's message was I must go and spread the word of God, etc. etc., but there's so many people who think they're Jesus out there that the idea seemed too literal. So as an artist and writer, you calm down and remember that no one likes a sanctimonious windbag telling them what to do just because he had a little white light experience and now thinks he's the what's what. So you humble up and try to incorporate these experiences into your work in such a way as to reach whomever they were meant to be communicated to. I'd say William Blake (below) is probably the finest example of this. Herman Melville's Moby Dick is another.

Another being from beyond I encountered a few years back, for example, was from a giant revolving planet-sized Medusa head, I was on this giant tentacled planet head, but again above the sway of its gravity so that it revolved below me, and I knew that there was a giant red mouth coming my way along the head, that would devour my entire soul and being when it reached me, so I became very devout and pleading and promised to spread the word of this giant space octopus head far and wide, like the Silver Surfer heralding Galactus, if you will. When I returned to my physical body I wrote a song 'Spare me, Space Octopus' but it was pretty bad. But while wondering if it would be enough to spare me come 'da rapture,' I found lots of weird coincidental things on the internet that would indicate I was not alone in having this bizarre encounter - everything from the work of HP Lovecraft (Chthulu and all his elder gods) to the Spaghetti Monster 'religion,' and Medusa herself in Greek myth, and even this cool T-Shirt, which I bought and now run in to the bewilderment of fellow joggers and parkgoers:

So that's just an example I guess... of disinformation in action. I realize this post's gone on forever and I'd love to get to all my other weird "true hallucinations" (as the great Terence McKenna would call them), but another time, dear readers! How can anyone top the 'Squid Overlord'?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TkID1I1EIM0

Sounds of Saturn and the "Missing Finger Man"

2010-07-06T15:58:00.000-04:00

The Psychedelicest of all Argentine Graffitamination videos!

2010-06-30T13:05:00.000-04:00

In case you haven't seen it yet, be prepared to have your neurons re-arranged. Can this even be possible? How many years did it take? Six million hits later, the mystery endures. It makes me proud to have married an Argentine, however briefly...

I, Daemonic

2010-05-22T18:17:00.003-04:00

"Snakes in the grass, you and I."

--Joni Mitchell ("Don Juan's Reckless Daughter")

Ever since seeing that Sumerian sculpture of the Annunaki, I've been remembering very bizarre experiences I've had over the years. Now a recent photo from David Eckhart (below left) hits me between the eyes so I must report in full my experiences, for posterity:

The fist occurred around 1982, when I was 15: Always kind of a weird, shy but creative kid, I was really into comic books, one of my favorites was Elfquest. Anyway, I had a very vivid dream set on Mars or similar red planet: a vast empty, lunar-style landscape with a dark red sky. The only feature on the landscape was a set of jungle gym-style monkey bars where I was hanging out with a bunch of Elfquest elves. I hated my school, had no friends, but these elves! I felt like I belonged with them, a really strong feeling of love and connection that struck me deeply; I'd never felt that kind of loyalty/love before.

Then, walking slowly towards us from across the vast plain was the silhouette of a single figure, which I knew was Death, or a demon, at any rate the 'end' of my new friends-- and I wanted to protect them, so I told them to stay by the bars, and I walked forward to meet this being as it approached us.

I was scared but had courage via my love for the elves. However, the closer I approached this figure, the more nervous static energy seemed to envelop me, like a wasp buzzing inside and outside my head. Finally, I was maybe five feet away from the being: he was wearing a sweartshit and sweatpants, with the hood up, and had on a cheap rubber Halloween skull mask, with red pin points of light in the center of the big black eye-holes.

Again, filled with new courage, I walked up and looked closely into the red of the being's eyes, knowing that if I could stare this being down, I'd save my friends. Again, I felt this extreme buzzing in my head, like radio static that was really an infinite number of mathematical equations and computations coming at me via telekinetic transference, kind of like a morse code or something... it was abstract but I understood it somehow and it was inflating me with strange, burning energy. I remember in the dream thinking, "I'm merging with all alien insectoid intelligence!" The energy in my head and body swelled and swelled the longer I looked into the being's red glowing eyes. The deeper I looked the more the message became pure empty mathematics.

It would have been just a dream, except the energy buzz was so strong it woke me from my bed, and not just like from a vivid dream or nightmare but like from something real! I literally jumped out of bed and bounced around the room like I had just gotten off an intense rollercoaster. I was full of crazy electric energy and still anxious to protect the elves. Every nerve and hair on my body was full at attention. I could still feel the presence of this being slowly fading away, not just in my head but all around. I didn't, however, see any evidence of a being in the room or outside -- no ships or lights or anything -- that I recall.

For the next few months I was obsessed with getting back to that dream, the sense of love and connection I felt with the elves, etc., so I read through my Elfquests maniacally, every night, to try and get the dream back. I was possessed! I never really thought of the being, though, but he would return! Not the elves... although I found their human incarnation in 1987, in gorgeous Connecticut hippies who took me in as one of their own.

Flash forward to November 1992, and I was back from college and travels and travails and was living at home in my old bedroom. I was very sick--a huge terrible fever-- and woke up one early evening around 6 PM (it was dark already, being the winter) from around 23 solid hours of writhing in fever delirium, I was in the grips of sleep paralysis and finally jumped out of it, to see this huge demon looming over me in me room, I recognized it immediately as the same one from the elf dream so many years before, though the skull mask was off and it was laughing at me, like amused I was trying to struggle out of my sleep paralysis and escape.

I was freaked out and all my hairs stood on end again and with all my might I jumped up and stood on the bed, so I could be taller than the being, and shouted at it to go away. I kept screaming: leave! go! Go AWAY! GO AWAY! It smiled wider--laughing at me (but not making a sound)--and gradually faded to moonlight reflections on my bookshelf. I remember being in total awe of how perfectly every detail of the being's face, fangs, eyes, scales, all fit perfectly into the reflections of light from the streetlight and moon out my window on my book spines.

I've seen demonic hallucinations here and there in between and after these two experiences, but never were they allowed to get "that far" before I'd pull away my attention. I instinctively realized the best way to deal with these beings is to ignore them when they're still at the "shadow" stage or to confront them, but to not stare and recoil in horror or fascination at the same time, because they can kind of feed on fear energy to manifest themselves into your consciousness, and from there it's a short jump to actual corporeal presence.

It's mind-boggling to watch a demonic figure form itself from, say, the patterns of a fire in a fireplace on the side of leather couch, or a painting on a wall or what have you. Scientists dismiss this stuff because they have a name for it: "hallucinations." But if you follow real science to the end of the quantum physics rainbow, then you know: if you see it, it exists, because you're seeing it, and just seeing the thing gives it power to manifest. Maybe science is trying to protect us by saying "Look away!" or to belittle these visions as inconsequential remnants of an archaic cortex on fire with fever or drug withdrawal. When one thinks of the Catholic exorcist strategy of ignoring telekinetic displays from possessed patients or houses, of refusing to be shocked or scared or acknowledge anything's out of the ordinary, this is perhaps a clue of how science uses skepticism as a way of protecting us from being invaded. If we look at these things too long with too much fear, who knows how corporeal they may become?

Now this last dream/hallucination I had a few months ago, wherein I was walking home from some late dinner to a motor-court/motel in a parched, lonely, lunar-style desert and maybe 20 feet away from the walkway was that same demon figure standing perfectly still, framed against the expanse of desert mountains behind him in the distance, glowing in the lights over the motel walkway.

This time I was neither young, nor sick, so I was able to approach the being from a detached observer state. Again he had a unique mix of being perfectly still and totally in movement, not breathing exactly but seeming to feed off the energy drawn from my dream reality; like a waterfall, where all the water flows towards this points where it disappears over the falls-- the reptoid was like the falls and everything around me was the water on the high part of the river, about to fall....flowing towards him. He seemed to "not belong" in my dream, like something inserted from another dimension, a giant tweezer end coming down on a 2-d glass slide of microbes. Another analogy is the obelisk in the movie 2001. The presence of the reptoid (for now I know what to call it!) standing still and grinning but not moving, reminded me a lot of the strange trans-dimensional presence of the black obelisk in that film.This time I wasn't afraid like I was when I had the fever. I wasn't thrilled about it, but it was hypnotically strange. In a way, I knew I was safe since it had visited me over the years before, there was obviously some reason for these visits, and that's why I remember them so clearly as opposed to the rest of my dreams and visions, which tend to fade away fast.

The uncanny similarity of these beings in my dreams to the reptoids in Sumerian sculpture and to Tibetan demons has fascinated me ever since, especially as I knew nothing of reptoid conspiracy theory or Tibetan or Sumerian legends until the third experience.

Around five years ago I had done a lecture on THE MAN WHO FELL TO EARTH at the Rubin Museum and so was on their mailing list. They sent me an invite to some opening for a Tibetan demon exhibition and It was like being mugged or attacked and then seeing your assailant years later on television and going "that's the guy!!"The nose is maybe more doglike, but the weird hypnotic eyes, the overall look of animal mirth, that's dead on, and the animal teeth... that's the demon!

I also used to suffer from sleep paralysis, and once around 1991, I was taking an afternoon nap and experienced the paralysis and felt myself lifted, ass-up onto the ceiling where I was rolled on out the window (my friend's apt in Manhattan) and up up up to the sky faster and faster, like my underwear had been hooked on an invisible fishing wire. I summoned all my psychic energy to escape, woke up and like before jumped out of bed with a fright, feeling like I'd escaped by the hairs standing on end all over my arms and legs, and a feeling that "this was more than a dream." But there was no one to tell it to. These subjective experiences are hard to translate, and most people don't want to hear it.

I wonder on some level if sleep paralysis isn't a kind of litmus test wherein the weak ones who can't fight it are taken, or not taken, but that somehow sleep/dream unconscious energy opens or can occasionally open a powerful interdimensional gateway and perhaps sleep paralysis ties in somehow.

Weird aspects of sleep paralysis include that I can be sleeping right next to someone when it strikes, but though I'm struggling and yelling to wake up, they don't even notice, even if they're awake. Could this be similar to the alien abduction strangeness, where people disappear out the wall with their wife sleeping next to them, never noticing? When I went downstairs to see my mom after that aforementioned fever dream, she said she'd heard nothing at all from upstairs, though I had been screaming at the top of my lungs for her help for perhaps a whole 30 or 40 seconds, or so it felt - I had no dream-within-a-dream second wake up, I had run downstairs right after I woke up and the demon had so slowly and laughingly vanished! I was so weirded out by that dream I can't even tell you. That face! How clear it was and how perfectly it disappeared into the reflections of light on the spines of books on my shelf. I can still see it perfectly and feel those eyes peering into my soul, and the mocking laughter as I shouted it back into the shadows, completely amazed as the definitions of the thing fit like a perfect painting back into the bookshelf in the moonlight.

Anyway, so there it all is. i have no obsessive anxiety about being abducted--as in trauma of repressed memories--and don't think I really have been, but I do feel I've been "visited" - though for now the reptoid / daemons seem content to watch, and occasionally hook me, lift me out of the water, and throw me back, so to speak, too small, under the galactic legal limit. And who's to say dreams aren't just as valid a reality as this one? It's totally possible to get to the third-eye open state where you see the exact same things with your eyes closed or open, for example. It happened to me once for about 6 minutes. Terrifyingly cool! Another story for another time!

PS - I mention these dreams not to claim I'm a special conduit or hybrid, but to share weird experiences. While I agree that, yes, fevers lead to hallucinations, I also wonder if science isn't missing a fascinating opportunity to study the bedrock of reality and perception by delving more into the nature of hallucinations and visions rather than just dismissing them as "not real." In the paraphrased words of Aldous Huxley, if the doors of perception were truly and completely cleansed, I believe we'd see a lot of beings from a lot of different dimensions intersecting with ours in ways so perfectly intertwined its beyond our 'conscious mind' comprehension. A tea kettle for example, might turn out to be somebody's space helmet. Your sudden need to move it off the stove coincides perfectly with his stepping out of the rocket onto the moon. If you keep lots of demon representations around you room, maybe you can make it so easy for them to appear that they can't, like you somehow, as they say, "blew up their spot."

After all, humans are very complicated machines and we existed long before western science. And, while I respect western science, I don't respect some of its more dogmatic adherents' closed-minded, know-it-all bullying. Since science only believes in things it can measure and experience directly, it shuts out 80% of "the real"... i.e. right brain associative non-linear Dionysian abstract thinking (daemonville) vs. left brain logocentric positivism and empirical deduction (grayville). Western science has convinced itself it has the whole picture, even as it admits it still knows so little, and regularly reverses its theorems and deductions, as with Pluto and the Brontosaurus. The contempt they show for ancient astronaut theory, UFOlogy, witness testimony, crop circles, demonology, astrology, etc. as being beneath "serious academic consideration" is all fear-based: guilt by association with the "lunatic fringe" and the idea that no one wants to be the messenger of news so bad no one can handle hearing it. For if the government/scientific complex admits there's aliens, they also have to admit they're powerless against them, and that defeats the whole purpose of a government/scientific complex.

Actually, paranormal researchers have to be twice as careful as regular "experts" because the skeptics are very quick on the trigger. That is, until they're forced by consistent results, or one or two brave researchers (like Rick Strassman or Terence McKenna) to reconsider, as in the way acupuncture and eastern medicine has slowly and reluctantly been admitted into hospitals and insurance coverage. Western medicine is pissed off that they don't know how acupuncture works, but they can no longer deny that it does.

Scientists shouldn't be scared if people "want to believe" in something science wants, by inclination, to disprove. Rather, western science should take a hard look in the mirror at itself before it judges the rest of us as flakes and crackpots. At least we admit we don't know what's going on, and we stay open to new evidence and ideas. We respect science as all-important in our development -- but it's not the whole picture. Trying to actually launch our physical bodies into space seems way too literal compared to exploring "astral body travel" which may be how many of these beings operate. Scientists are still saying space travel between our galaxies is so unlikely thanks to the huge distances, but they don't even consider the whole idea of distance might itself be a hallucination.

We ignore the unknowable at our peril: the Bud Hopkins or Whitley Streiber of today might be the Galileo or Copernicus of tomorrow. Scientists need to ask themselves if they want to go down in history as pawns of a hostile power elite, firmly against any form of change, or as cutting edge researchers for whom any phenomenon is interesting, even science fiction or schizophrenic ranting! And what about paranoid-sounding but nonetheless uncanny frisson-inspiring bits of writing like this?

Hey man, we--right, left, up, down-- need each other. Without the speculations of the sci fi fringe, science would calcify and become as repressive and dogmatic as that haven of ritual child-torture, the Catholic church. Without science to fight against and try to convince, the fringe would be forced to realize the catastrophic consequences of believing all of this stuff much too fast. Maybe Bush was a shape-shifting reptoid, but that doesn't mean we could have stopped him even if the whole world had known!

It's like being a lion in a zoo. You may be tough, but the humans have tranq darts and bigger brains, and if they're nice enough to give you a big cage and decorate it to disguise the bars, you can at least think you're free and not get depressed, so why try to bite them? Why force them to reveal the iron bars that hold us, since "we" can never escape, except through complete transformation of our energies, wherein we become no longer human at all, but soul light energy, which they work so hard to keep us from attaining since once we get to that level, we're out of their hands? By cosmic law they can only puff their gills and wave their claws to keep us in line. They can make mind-opening drugs illegal but they can't stop us from taking them... they just make it more difficult, so only the determined and deserved can find them, Darwin-style. They let us tell the truth, so long as we cloak it in the garb of delusional ranting (such as this post). Thus for the truth to be true by definition it must dribble from the mouths of babes, lest the cattle be not spooked into a stampede. If some of us want to quietly evolve off of the ranch on our own; the daemons wont stop us - by order of cosmic law. All they ask: don't spook the rest of the herd. They've invested heavily in breeding programs to yield a maximum head count, and the day of harvest is close to hand! So don't worry about anything, just get your heart lighter than a feather asap, before you get sucked into the scythe swipe thresher at the end of the net of time along with the rest of Noah's rejects! Hallalejuah, I'm a bum!

A bug-eyed look at UFO Disclosure

2010-05-11T14:07:00.004-04:00

If you ever want to really understand why shadowy government agencies continue to hide the existence of alien life visiting earth, watch CLOSE ENCOUNTERS (1977) again, and really study the behavior of Roy (Richard Dreyfuss), the immature "everyman" who makes mountains out of his mashed potatoes and frightens his family half to death with his lunatic ravings about UFOs. He's the guy we're supposed to identify with, the ones the aliens have "chosen." And yet he's unable to accept the "truth" of the aliens until he's right there seeing them and touching them, even then he's more a wide-eyed kid at Disneyland than an adult facing tough truths. By making himself a mere patron on a UFO ride, Roy once again infantalizes himself. Now he'll follow alien reality instead of the earth's. No more curfew!

By contrast, CLOSE ENCOUNTERS regularly switches to the "insiders" led by Claude Lacombe (Francois Truffaut). While Roy seeks answers, wants to have an authority figure tell him what he already knows to be true, Lacombe knows the truth, and hides it from the Roys of the world, who "can't handle" it. In other words, Claude assumes the role of leader, parent, role model, Roy that of the child, citizen, follower. Roy demands the government explain and assure. The Lacombes of the world can only pretend to be hiding more than they know, as a favor to the panicked who can then presume the government really does know what's going on, and so all must be well.

There is a scene early in the film wherein a group of air traffic controllers are gathered around a radio listening to flying saucer reports from one of their planes. They ask him if he wants to report a UFO: "No. I wouldn't know what to report," the shaken but professional pilot answers.

By the terrified citizen standard, not reporting the incident that pilot is "hiding" from possible peer ridicule, but the reasons are actually more muddled: If this unseen pilot had chosen to make a report he may be ostracized, not for "believing" in aliens but for reporting the encounter, for clinging to the lie of "real" authority, expecting that someone higher up will have an explanation for him. In other words, these men in the military are forced to grasp the notion of the ungraspable real, the other, the "stain" in Lacanian terminology. By choosing to not allow the UFO into their consensual reality in this way, the pilot and those gathered maintain their positions within the symbolic order. They know there are UFOs, and they know there is no explanation for them; but they can "handle" the truth, and the way they handle it is by realizing and accepting that there is no possible rational explanation and not letting it get them too rattled. There's still a job to do. Roy can't go to work or function in society once the 'truth' overtakes him, that's why he's not ready for it.

This split between these "grown ups" and "adult children" is further borne out in a scene in CLOSE ENCOUNTERS where panicked citizens meet with government officials in a press conference. The government officials basically acknowledge that the citizens saw something that no one has an answer for. If the townsfolk were to really "hear" this news, they would just sit there, pale and shaken, but they clamor. These citizens cannot recognize that the symbolic authority of the adult government has been removed by the presence of this advanced alien intelligence. The explanation they are looking for does not exist; but this is simply not good enough for them, so they throw a mass temper tantrum, which is in itself a sign they are not ready for the truth.

Another popular consciousness movie touchstone might be examined here to see how a person can move from one level to the other. (Roy never does, even when going off into space he remains dependent, merely "joining the children.") That movie is David Lynch's BLUE VELVET (1986). In this movie, Kyle Mclachlan plays Jeffrey, a young would-be detective out to solve the mystery of a severed ear he finds in the nearby park from his childhood home. He winds up embroiled in a scandal that includes a crooked cop; yet Jeffrey is also dating the daughter (Laura Dern) of the local police chief. He's already presented the chief with evidence against the crooked cop so when Jeffrey walks into the chief's home after dinner to pick up Audrey for a date, and finds the crooked cop in the living room with the chief, he's fairly startled - is the Dern's dad crooked also?

This is a key moment in Jeffrey's evolution as a male, and this psychic growth is something that's present in all of Lynch's films: Jeffrey doesn't panic, but rather greets the crooked cop with a smile and a handshake, as if he knows nothing of the matter. The chief is impressed and later when Jeffrey denies he knows who the cop is to Laura Dern, the chief says, "Good boy, Jeffrey." -- an acknowledgment of Jeffrey's newfound complicity within the social order. Jeffrey proves he can keep a secret, in this case the most important secret of all being the complete lack of 'truth' or solidity at the center of the social order, and this is the secret all true adults must guard. The 'dumb' citizens seldom realize that they need their politicians to lie - need to not believe in their leaders, so as to always presume there's more, rather than less, going on 'upstairs.'

We have a similar thing going on today in the world as we approach 2012: global warming, water and oil shortages; inflation, over-population, whatever you want to obsess on. We know something's up, but at the same time as long as the president doesn't come on national TV and proclaim any of this as officially doomsday, evacuate in a calm, orderly manner, say goodbye to your ass, etc., we're going to be all right. This is the trap we find ourselves in as we enter the age of total digital reality.

The infantilization of the masses by the ruling elite--both in film and in real life-- is no joke, and anyone with any authority knows that a large part of their job is simply to "embody" the "one who knows." By acting contemptuous and dismissive towards the citizenry's concerns at the aforementioned press conference scene in CLOSE ENCOUNTERS, the government agents allow the citizenry to continue to live in the illusion that somewhere along the chain of command there is someone who has the situation well in hand.

Now to bring this to our own current situation, which is the slow--presumably permitted--leak in information about the existence of aliens that's coming through on the internet, which manages to disperse information so rapidly that the shadowy government insiders would be hard pressed to stop it even if they wanted to, but one gets the impression they don't want it to. Rather, they want to continue to release the information with just enough disinformation to let them keep control. As long as there's debate about whether it's factual, we won't panic. People have an option not to believe if it scares them.

Again we turn to cinema for our example-- the censorship codes enforced by Joseph Breen from 1934 through to the early 1960s. The idea in these films wasn't that no one was allowed to have sex, but that there were simultaneously two different interpretations available: one that was "above board" and nonsexual (for the church matrons and children) and one sexual.... the did they or didn't they have sex during the 3 1/2 second dissolve from Rick and Ilsa kissing, to the watch tower at the Casablanca airport, for example as discussed by Richard Maltby and Slavoj Zizek:

To put it in the Lacanian terms: during the infamous 3 1/2 second, Ilsa and Rick did not do it for the big Other, the order of public appearance, but they did do it for our dirty fantasmatic imagination - this is the structure of inherent transgression at its purest, i.e. Hollywood needs BOTH levels in order to function.

As Zizek points out, this two-sided reading is not only present but essential for control to exist. By a similar token, it is safe for us to believe in aliens because the government does deny their existence. Once the president comes out and tells the actual truth, civilization as we know it will instantaneously collapse, the way the Soviet Union instantaneously collapsed - when all the people decide, en masse, to abandon an ideology, this change is inevitable. Thus any social order must involve a sort of mass hypnotism to function. The truth is, even the movie itself doesn't know what happened in that 3 1/2 seconds, but in implying something went on, it creates room for pleasure to emerge, the pleasure of feeling protected from the truth.

The lesson to glean from all this is that we all need to learn to be adults, to fix ourselves first, so we can be ready for the changes that are coming. The question is, are you free? And if you are free, why are you waiting for some "authority figure" to tell you what you already know? You know if aliens are real or not, and if you don't there's no one who can tell you but yourself. There is so much information being released now, so many sworn testimonies from NASA and military officials that by any standard you could name, the alien question is on the table. Do you still need some sort of "official" statement? Or have you let the truth in -- to the point where you are in despair at the fact that evil runs our country, that we're soul food for the reptoids? That only love and an expanded soul can free you from the bondage of self?

To really begin to believe in the alien conspiracy is to invite a complete collapse of values into your psyche; there are myriad "truths" to believe in, but one of the more obvious ones is that most humans are alien-ape hybrids. One of the most depressing is that we are a "soul farm" and gray-reptoid aliens eat our pain and suffering as snacks before they devour our souls. (which explains the fearsome appearance of Tibetan Demonology), and this is the reason why overpopulation runs amok, and that governments doesn't want us experimenting with drugs that will show the man behind the curtain, why they want to burn and destroy anyone who shows the way clear of bondage. It may be depressing, may not even be true, but it's one of the more acceptable all-encompassing answers to life's mysteries (the alien gene splice is, then, Darwin's missing link). No wonder we'd prefer to think what the TV tells us as we chew our morning cud.... "All is well... all is well..all is a disaster so keep watching, but it's nothing we can't fix, eventually." And that if we're worried about global warming, we can avert the crisis by buying seventh generation paper towels on our next half-hour SUV-drive to Wal-Mart.

The challenge is not to wonder what in that preceding morass of horrible truth and CIA disinformation is real or not, but to realize that if even one shred of it is true, just how vast and incredible its implications are. If you're not completely freaked out by the idea of alien life on this planet then you're not thinking about it clearly. You're thinking about it in the same abstract way you might think about death if you're not enlightened. You're still on the fence, wondering if its all true, still denying your own death, your own mortality, still clinging to possessions and temporal space like a kid grabbing his mom's ankles to prevent his having to go to school. You may believe in Jesus, but aren't sure if he rose from the dead, maybe believe in Santa Clause but not the Easter Bunny, and maybe you don't really believe in anything 100% and that's probably the smartest tactic, but it leaves you awfully numb.

In Sogyal Rinpoche's THE TIBETAN BOOK OF LIVING AND DYING he tells of giving a lecture about impermanence and afterwards having a jaded, seen-it-all new student proclaim: "All this seems obvious, tell me something new."

To which Rinpoche replies:

"Have you actually realized the truth of impermanence? Have you so integrated it with your every thought, breath and movement that your life has been transformed? Ask yourself these two questions: Do I remember at every moment I am dying and that everyone and everything else is, and so treat all beings at all times with compassion? Has my understanding of death and impermanence becomes so keen and so urgent that I am devoting every second to the purpose of enlightenment? If you can answer yes to both of these then you have really understood impermanence." (p. 27)

to the concept of alien life on this planet. Have you truly grasped the implications of "the truth" of alien existence? Have you overcome the egoic blinders that make you run to snap judgments and ridicule, the same defense mechanisms so overworked to keep you from thinking about death? If so, wouldn't you be spending, as Rinpoche describes "every second to the purpose of enlightenment?"

The mechanisms that keep you from thinking about death all the time are important for your functionality and sanity, but when you listen to them exclusively, life loses its scent of danger and excitement, and the dour wardens of your inner asylum start slowly taking away privileges. They only let go of your throat when they hit the wall of cancer or a gun in the face or death row... or psychedelics or meditation or exhaustion obliterates them temporarily. Is it any wonder that mind-expanding drugs are illegal and meditation such a hard habit to integrate into your life?

Or even more understandable--and chilling-- is it any wonder that even those convinced of the alien presence prefer to focus on issues of disclosure and evidence gathering, rather than actually altering their world view to the point of nervous breakdown? For once you "let it in," the truth about aliens cements so many missing connections, answers so many questions, that you find yourself on a whole other level of consciousness. Now that you believe in greys, anti-gravity propulsion, inter-dimensional doorways and reptoids, you can begin to deal with issues like the Pleiadians, angels, God, reincarnation, and the light to dark ratio of your own immortal soul. "Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain," the man behind the curtain shouts. But he's doing you a favor; the man behind the curtain is you.

Mirror my Puzzle to Thee

2010-05-02T14:41:00.002-04:00

Imagine if you were going to take a trip to... um, Europe.. and when you got there you would have total amnesia - not remember how you got there or who you are. Imagine how weird that would be. Would you even remember your native language, you ask? No. But, you could, before you left on your journey, send some letters and messages on ahead to yourself, ala Phillip K. Dick's Paycheck. It's just you wouldn't be able to read them. So how would you phone ahead and let yourself know who you are, the you of the future?

Would you send a bunch of pictographs to yourself? What if you didn't even know when you'd get to Europe, could be a month could be 100 years... You'd never even know where to send the documents! Maybe you'd put them in a safety deposit box and give your daughter the key and tell her, 'these are for your great grandson' because you got a tip that you'd be reincarnating into your granddaughter's womb But by the time you got around to reading them a few centuries later, their whole meaning would be lost, it would just seem like a lot of mystic mumbo jumbo. Hieroglyphs...

.. ..So before you leave, for Europe, you will need a plan by which you can mainipulate and influence your future self, so it will be ready to hear what the documents got to say when it's time for the documents to be opened. So you arrange it that when your future reincarnated Europe tourist reaches 13 years old she/you gets hit on the head with a hammer and put in a visionary coma, at 24 she falls in love but the girl rejects her; dude, you're a lesbian! That's cool.

Anyway, all this pain and suffering your arranging for your trip is not because you're a masochist. It's all meant to trigger an awakening so you can remember where you're from. You carve out a space of time in your future life where you will have no friends and no food, all just to be able to get you to take these documents seriously. Maybe after all that, it still wont work. Your future self might not want to believe it was once you, would rather disavow knowing you. And you have to communicate with this stubborn future self via obscure signs, so it takes the future you a couple decades to figure out what you meant, cause you know you like to solve stuff. This is why you're making this long strange trip in the first place, to occupy yourself... like a jigsaw puzzle - once it's put together, what do you do now? You shake it up and start again-- aint no other puzzles but this, and if you could you would erase the memory of having done it the first time - why not, since it makes it more fun?

Once you grasp these concepts, you will begin to see eternity in everything -you will see cave drawings from the paleolithic age and think, "What was I trying to tell my later self when I drew that?"

Why? Because to truly understand it is to forget it - unless, that is, you are finally through the golden gate and made the choice not to turn around and help the rest of us poor suckers along the way.

In meditation you realize you aren't on a path so much as cleaning a very dirty window, painted over with layers of paint through the ages, caked with soot, hardened lava, and cobwebs... through which the sun is trying to shine at you. As you scrape through the layers of paint, you come across old Grateful Dead bumper stickers depicting skeletons of issues unresolved since childhood: the time your little brother got you grounded cause he made you hit him, for example. You see how this hatred emerged as a negation of any love you might feel for people in your life who resembled or talked like your brother. You see the thousand severed tendrils of possibility that never manifested because the tendrils resembled your brother... so much happiness you threw away because you couldn't say you were sorry. So you say you're sorry, and he looks at you funny. But whatever, you have a window to clean, and no shortage of dirt in sight.

Look the world in the eye and admit defeat. Throw down your tendril-shearing sword of censorship and instead pick up the rosined bow of music and its endless variations. Scrape madly passionately but with love at the hardened tendrils that do blacken up this strange and ancient window.

When the window is finally clear, what then? There are some who soon grow reddened and burnt from being unused to the glare of the sun shining through the clean glass, and so they find a nice thin enamel to spread o'er pane. Just enough you understand, to keep out the gamma rays. But what you didn't know was the gamma rays had the vitamin of remembering. You've already forgotten that that thin UV-protecting gloss layer is even there. You think that the window is totally clean and clear, and when the cleaning lady comes by to try and point out it's not clean at all, you get so mad you burn her; you burn her eyes, just to prove that she is wrong about seeing fire where all you want to see is rain.

And so it begins anew. "all the way to infinity." (12/07) You can study the puzzles they scrawl on our lawns, but you will never know the truth, until it's your turn to step up and forget all about it.

Uma Thurman is from Venus

2010-04-30T11:54:00.005-04:00

Is Uma Thurman a descendant of the race of tall blonde aliens often referred to as Nordics, and sometimes thought to be from Venus?

Some would say: Yes.

In the late 1940s-50s, there was a fella, George Adamski, who'd met Venusians, he said. This was one of the drawings he did of one of them:

At a 1950s Brazilian UFO conference, a mysterious Venusian queen with her two consorts showed up and savvy (or nutso) attendees pegged her instantly for the Venusian in Adamski's drawing:

The Nordics are one of the alien races that monitors our progress here on earth. What does that mean exactly? Just remember when you were a kid in grade school. Parents and teachers made sure you got the right tools, but then they'd hang back and let you figure it out, learn, for yourself. Now imagine the Venusian Nordics are your parents, and if they go home after dropping you off at kindergarten (at the dawn of human history) and come back to pick you up at 3 PM when school's out, we're talking maybe a million years instead of six hours. Adamski was likely an NSA disinformant, but the Nordics might be real, they're our space mom. We've already forgotten we have a mom coming to pick us up. We think we live here, in grade school Terra.

The Nazis got involved with these beings via mystics and human sacrifices (maybe), and its thought the blue-eyed blonde haired Aryan represents a strong Venusian/Nordic alien genetic splice bloodline. This through the Thule society. Check out this hot psychic who channeled UFO technology to the Nazis, Marija Oršic:

Part Nordic goddess? I'd say yes. She so fine. So now let's get over to Uma:

She even played Venus! In Terry Gilliam's Baron Munschausen.

Uma's father, Robert Thurman, is a renowned scholar whose translations of Buddhist texts like the Book of the Dead have helped eastern philosophy become more popular in the west. In a future post I'll detail some of the connections between alien races and the demons and spirits of Buddhist mythology, but for now, let's just imagine a Buddhist scholar chosen by ancient gods to raise one of their own, ala the myth of Moses. Just imagine the shell that bore Venus from the sea was an underwater spacecraft (USO) bringing her to the shore to spread love, poetry, chivalry and a hierarchy of beauty with her blonde, blue-eyed self as the perfect 10, thus ensuring her race's descendants in the human gene pool are given preferential treatment from then on:

Some Nazi-alien connection buffs theorize that the Nordics and grays are collaborating on this human experiment / boarding school we call life. Apparently there's some contention over the Jews, because the Jewish soul is old and hard for the reptilians to eat. If the Nordics are the mom, the reptilians might be the evil principal of the school, controlling, punishing and shooting down your ideas of being an artist because 'you're too stupid, and we need more factory workers.'

Like, why are we torn between the herd mentality of the mammalian instinct and the 'every man for himself' cold heartedness of our reptilian cortex? Who profits from our remaining in dark ignorance and suffering? Have you ever meditated and felt your magnetic energy flowing northwards, as if it was being siphoned off you by some giant magnetic vacuum?

There's room in this world for a million interpretations of any single event. What we can all do in the meantime is try to understand just how important and vital every single second of our lives truly is. As vast as the universe may be, a single selfless gesture or act of random anonymous kindness can shift the whole cosmos into a higher level. Feel it to be true - and next time you meditate and pray to the Gods, give some love to Uma.... sweet Uma. Can she please come pick us up, and take us on a magic carpet ride?

For more on Adamski and his Venusian friends, check out this blog entry at: Lon Strickler's essential Phantoms and Monsters.

Hawking's Speculation Vs. Real Truth About Aliens!

2010-04-27T12:35:00.004-04:00

Now first off, I love Stephen Hawking and think it's great he's warning us not to talk to them in a show about aliens. However, I'm shocked at the way the whole show--at least in its promos--fails even to mention or address the huge body of evidence that not only have we been visited by aliens in ancient times, but that we're still invaded, even occupied, even enslaved on some cosmic frequency, to the soul harvesting experimentation of the grays, while we await the cosmic shift and the arrival of the Pleiadians and all that 2012 jazz. Instead these scientist look at SETI, and wonder if alien life might be giant microbes in space, etc., yeah, dudes, by now you should realize that the universe is infinite and not only can all these variations exist, but you create them just by thinking about them! Somewhere a giant space amoeba is being eaten! Won't you please help?

Science has a very bizarre "see no evil" policy towards that which it dubs fringe science or paranormal research. Once mainstream science dumps you into these categories, it will never believe a word you say. The scientist sit there and wait for evidence, yet the evidence is overwhelming and all around. So there's something deeper at work here. It's denial of any theorem of reality that might negate any of their findings or the feeling that "We're Number One!" You can see it for example in the way parents will REFUSE to believe their own children on a subject, instead basing their unshakable opinions on anything they may read in the paper or hear over the water cooler. Their kids could tell them their house is on fire and they'd be written off as little liars until the smoke choked them and beams started crashing down on their heads, then the parents go "suddenly I remember reading in USA Today that my house is on fire," - and they can leave - anything but admit their own kids may know something they don't.

I believe ancient astronauts visited us in the past, but at the same time I feel a kind of instilled resistance, based no doubt on my education which was a public school trip through a cosmos in which we're all alone but... maybe one day soon a visitor will land on the White House lawn with presents for all. I can only imagine how much harder the ancient astronaut theory must be to accept for someone who's about to finally after years of work and countless grants earn, say, a doctorate in astronomy!

And then there's things like sleep paralysis and hallucinations; science is missing a fascinating opportunity to study the bedrock of reality and perception by delving more into the nature of hallucinations and visions rather than just dismissing them as "not real." If the doors of perception were truly and completely cleansed, I believe we'd see a lot of beings from a lot of different dimensions intersecting with ours in ways so perfectly intertwined its beyond our comprehension.

After all, humans are very complicated machines and we existed long before western science came along and broke us down into organs and glands. The much older eastern science, like Chinese medicine, sees humans more in terms of energy flow, a model western science, which like a wiz kid infant compared to the wise old sage of Chinese medicine, is only now reluctantly accepting.

So while I respect western science, I don't respect its closed-minded know-it-all bullying, the way it doesn't respect anything outside its own borders. Since it only believes in things it can measure and experience directly, it shuts out 80% of "the real"... i.e. right brain associative non-linear Dionysian abstract thinking vs. left brain logocentric positivism and empirical deduction. Western science has convinced itself it has the whole picture, even as it regularly reverses its theorems and deductions. Meanwhile ancient astronaut theory, UFOlogy, witness testimony, crop circles, demonology, astrology, etc. is all thrown out of "serious academic consideration" - largely due to peer pressure in the scientific community, and fear we may find out too much, guilt by association with the "lunatic fringe." That is, until they're forced by consistent results, or one or two brave researchers (like Rick Strassman or Terence McKenna) to reconsider, as in the way acupuncture and eastern medicine has slowly and reluctantly been admitted into hospitals and insurance coverage.

I was thrilled to read of a scientist in the same article noting that alien life to us might be as hard to imagine as quantum theory is for a dog. I use the same analogy all the time! Though I always said "like a dog trying to understand math by chewing up a text book." Western science needs to learn that wild free-form speculation and theory shouldn't be shamed and condemned just because some of the speculators are total flakes. They shouldn't be scared if people "want to believe" in something science prefers, by inclination, to doubt, just because they're scared people will use it as an excuse not to care about the planet (i.e. "Left Behind").

Western science needs to not start barking and biting at the very notion of something being it doesn't understand and can't measure outside its own parameters. Rather, western science should take a hard look in the mirror at itself before it judges the rest of us as flakes and crackpots. At least we admit we don't know what's going on, and we stay open to new evidence and ideas. One can live a great life without believing or disbelieving in anything (ala Sherlock Holmes or Charles Fort). Keep an open mind. Nothing is true or false except in our perceptions. Ask any doctor who's seen the effectiveness of placebos and prayer on terminal illness. The Bud Hopkins or Whitley Strieber of today might be the Galileo or Copernicus of tomorrow.

Scientists need to ask themselves if they want to go down in history as exactly what they once fought against, i.e. hostile ignorance from the power elite against any form of change, or as cutting edge researchers for whom any evidence is interesting, even science fiction. Remember, in a universe that is vast beyond our imagination it's probable there's an actual planet out there somewhere (or in here somewhere) with a million monkeys at a million typewriters, clacking our very universe into existence.

The Pyshcedelic Coziness of Chelsea Rose

2010-04-16T14:29:00.000-04:00

Chelsea Rose: my kind of artist - doin' it for herself, selling an array of cool, reasonably priced T-shirts and prints on her site, working a blog that mixes biography, thoughts, observances, and artistic output, and generally blowing minds and opening inner doors while remaining unique but comforting and true to her clearly gentle and sweet self. I especially love the mermaid above, with the mix of chaotically/adorably swirling sea hair and full lipped, contented smile. The body art at top is amazing in its uniformity and tribal power. I found her only because she replied to a post on here, in February that I just now found. I'm so glad I did! Check her blog out here and Fine Arts shop here.

Annunaki Stole My Heart

2010-03-19T11:14:00.000-04:00

In the Egyptian cosmology, the Annunaki weigh your heart after death, and if it's heavier than a feather, they feed it to their monstrous hound, Ammit (pictured below left).

This is TRUE! And it aligns perfectly with theories of reincarnation from the East, and heaven/hell from the west. In other words, if you don't want to me be melted back into raw soul material to be recycled for alien experiments on earth, again and again, by evil gray alien reptoids, then do good deeds, be selfless and meditate on the joys and sorrows of existence. Mwahahaha!

When I first saw the image of the reptoid thing above, I jumped, because I've seen him in my dreams all throughout my life, each time I jump out of bed shaking like "that really happened!" but weirder than "really happened" if you get my meaning.

2010-03-13T13:03:00.000-05:00

Stills from the upcoming LACAN HOUR 2: Death & Desire (2010)

If Urine be the Jazz of Dogs, Pee On

2010-02-24T15:40:00.015-05:00

In my opinion, based of course on my love of leisure and dislike of classroom, to be a good writer you need to live a little, make mistakes, wander off into the night, almost die, recover, kick a little ass and get your ass a little kicked -- all of which is sadly what's lacking in a lot of academic theory, fiction and poetry. A good writer should be in therapy, or at any rate have an editor. Or both, or neither if they're two-fisted. But as it is, there's a weird unearned sense of entitlement that goes with a doctorate or master's degree. As I work in higher education I see it all the time. A rough estimate, I'd say at least 30% of higher ed teachers suffer from this problem. They earned a degree, so they are qualified to teach, but in reality, what do they know? Let's face it, anyone with a lot of time and money can get a doctorate. But have you learned to think for yourself and relate to life, or did you just learn to parrot someone else's insights and filter them through your thesis advisor? When they kick at your front door, where you gonna run?

The types who teach are the types who learned to enjoy sitting in libraries for hours on end, as opposed to spending time in the drug dens and pool rooms they will then write novels about. The freaks fail, or graduate with their BFA and carve themselves an obscure corner in which to get to work.Well, I guess you can tell which side of that coin I fall into. But while I concede there's a lot of sour grapes at work in this rant, my point is still valid, as I say, not for all professors, but for a good number, especially once they get tenure and get all sucked into academic politics, which are just as immature and irrational--if not more so--than our current situation with tea party extremists.

For example, the issue of spirituality is often ignored in academia, and over-stressed outside it. There are ways to see God and what lies beyond space and time, but many "serious" intellectuals would never dream of looking there, or even acknowledging such a place exists. A tea party extremist would have them burnt at the stake for denying it.

If you got straight As in grad school and a doctorate and then tenure and are the type who lives in the library and your little world where your views are exactly those of your peers and no one ever challenges whether everything you know is wrong, well that's groovy, but I worry that maybe you aren't the best person to teach Jack Kerouac or Ingmar Bergman or Freud or jazz. If you've never been in therapy or on psychedelics or yoga class there's a good chance you've gotten all the way to the tenure track without having a single iota of "self-awareness." If there's no distance between you and your own ego, you can end up a pretentious dogmatic left-wing conservative before you know it, right down to refusing to validate any opinion but your own in class discussions or faculty meetings.

But there is also the too far into themselves problem, the doorway between conscious and unconscious can wind up broken, allowing any old demon to come on in and sit on your chest in the middle of the night. That's my problem. I look too deep and have a nervous breakdown, the endless mirror within mirror reflections that add up to ugly truths no amount of booze can wash away. Yet awareness is the true currency of our age, the most obscure and rare commodity.

The conscious remembering of past life deaths is much more profound than remembering of birth. These memories are not "direct" but they are deciphered. Meditation is not, as those who don't do it think, merely some kind of mental calming system; it's a journey, akin to an unending novel. You pick up almost exactly where you left up every time, it's an excavation, an endless window cleaning, and more than that, the "active meditation" of doing everything from a loving yet detached angle of self-awareness, gradually you are face the harsh scary truths of your own past and future deaths. The awful gasp of terror that comes from knowing this is it, the murky acceptance, the white light, it's a recurring act; and the trauma of what goes on in between the doors, when the greys and demons try to pull you down, rip at your soul to see if it's hardened enough to eat, when your soul gets measured against the feather. That's why they makes us have those wars and diamonds and furs, get our souls shrunk and juicy tender with hatred and ego. If you want to avoid getting eaten, just be light and porous, like the Buddha bubble, the heart that weighs less than a feather does not get eaten by the hounds of Annunakai.

2010-02-15T15:32:00.000-05:00

Media Eats its Young

Study for Lord Ganesha #4

We feel like there's space vultures who detect us from way high above when we become too alive, when we start to feel too much, when we taste chocolate without guilt that it's too fattening; when we love someone too much, when we become enlightened and brave off a cigarette.

So we smoke but don't notice the effects, we wolf down chocolate with our nose closed, we love someone then split, betraying trust, hiding instead of fighting, cultivating our regrets like a garden which we can then sit in when we're old and gray as the vultures couldn't sense our euphoria, so flew long past.

I say come on down, space vultures, bring the noize! Let's not be afraid of death, or finding out what's behind the curtain of the great and powerful Oz. There's nothing there, nothing but this, which is where you are already, so just let the plowmen dig your earth, none of them will own the mine, or know what any of it is worth (that last part's Dylan)

2010-02-15T03:25:00.000-05:00

Autumnal Visitors

Ezekiel Saw The Wheel

Kali #45

Kali #46

Primordial Greetings (For Graham Hancock)

2010-02-09T11:20:00.000-05:00

Vampire Happening, Dave's Loft, Chinatown, NYC - Halloween 2006

2010-02-09T10:41:00.001-05:00

Vampire Happening 10/06

Audra Graziano - Ink on Paper

2010-01-17T15:34:00.000-05:00

Audra Graziano

ink on paper

Abstraction, Totems, Webs and Rock and Roll Youth

2010-01-16T16:07:00.000-05:00

The nature of hallucinations, at least as far as we know, ties into the nature of abstract art as well as, animism, totems, masks and the way heightened imagination and visualization connects with weariness, fever, starvation, insanity, on the level of vision - the way our eyes fill in blind spots for a full view so too we add and perceive things to move, to breathe, people in pictures to nod their heads, statues to slowly wave their arms, the pencil lines in sketches to flow around figures like fine root systems or webs.

The spider web was important in my cosmic symbol book because as a rock and roll youth my bedroom window was completely covered by a spider web, with the huge black spider in the dead center, never moving. And stone tripping at dawn, I'd watch the spider watch me through the glass, for (what seemed like) hours on end, our brains merging. That spider was my beacon, my transistor 2-way radio to the alien intelligence that unites insect and plant life. Then, in the winter, he was gone. Sadness pervaded my snowy room and mind.

Anyway, the nature of hallucinations stems from a heightened sense of danger, activating the pineal gland for a dose of full brain alertness; if we're gonna die, may as well do it with all the houselights on. So now the program in the vision centers of your brain which fill in the blanks in your normal vision are suddenly lit up and working over time, looking for danger and seeing it wherever they look - on the hunt for movement, life forms, things edible and/or threatening. Anything remotely anthrophomorphic starts to twitch and vibrate, energies are perceived all around, both benign and threatening in an endless push-pull of life and death, time and space, all shrouded over by this extra dimension that reveals all as pure perception, illusion, the eye making sense of a world spiked with madness and chaos. Children don't see puppets at a puppet show, they see the characters. They don't need CGI because they bring the intricate details to the bland surface. All they need is a guy in a wolf mask, and they're scared, because their imagination fills in the rest, they see the wolfman with more hair and wilder-eyed than the mask can actually deliver on its own, to, say an adult.

This is not to say that some visions -- grays, mantises, demons, plant spirits, aren't "real" per se, but that they challenge our notion of what real is, making the point moot in the end. The equivalent metaphor for us would be dogs chewing on math textbooks and trying to understand calculus via tasting the ink and wood pulp.

At this point we're still chewing on the wood pulp. The best we can hypothesize is that the symbols on the pages mean something, and it's probably profound. Our reductionist scientists would say (continuing the dog metaphor), that because the math book is made of wood pulp and ink and is therefore worthless as food, it cannot have a higher meaning. Bless the scientists for refusing to consider hypotheses which would undermine their previous research.

Works on Paper by Audra Graziano

2010-01-15T17:38:00.000-05:00

As the art world burns its dreary conceptual fuse down to the bitter Duchamp-ish end, we will perhaps one day get back to writing about the artists that actually have talent and skill and imaginations twisted and vast enough to blow your mind if you're not too busy trying to "get" the new dust mop exhibition at the Whitney or whatnot... Actually last bienniale (c'est vas?) was full of great paintings, but that was, when, wait...where can we go now for good painting?

Like former NYC resident, abstract expressionist Audra Graziano, we can go to Los Angeles, of course. As seen above and below, the rockin' Graziano has created magnificent color-drenched ribbons which weave life into three-dimensional existence using nothing but fire and the void of jet black oil. Her "Monster Hole" seems a sun beaming through storm clouds or a birth canal, coming to a tunnel! Go into the light, my boy! Take me to my final destination. Or girl. Abstract surreal intensity such as this generally comes from those twisted geniuses who've undergone major illnesses, such as Sarah Manguso, who caused me instant panic attacks with her harrowingly vivid new book, The Two Kinds of Decay. Graziano's life must be as rife with shamanistic (in the context of using illness as a means of transcending the duality of life and death) strangeness and you can feel the fingers all over pulses you didn't even know you had. Like the above work on paper, Go see it, at the Muerner Gallery, 1018 Madison Ave, Thurs 7+ --Shelley Jackson library project copy pamphlet #48302 1967 Du bist frei!

2010-01-15T16:52:00.000-05:00

Audra Graziano

"La Fonda"

Oil on canvas

36 x 36 ins

2010-01-15T16:49:00.000-05:00

Audra Graziano

"Monster Hole"

2009

Oil on canvas

36 x 36 ins

Audra Graziano

"Fascination"

2009

Oil on canvas

36 x 36 ins

The Hydra's Apron Strings

2010-01-09T19:10:00.000-05:00

Her Apron Tentacles are Many (2009)

2010-01-09T18:05:00.000-05:00

My latest opus, LAURA MULVEY & THE CURSE OF THE MALE GAZE - 2009, 6 mins

2010-01-07T10:05:00.000-05:00

By Max, c. 1987 (with a cameo by me [in the yellow shirt, panels 6-7])

2009-12-21T15:26:00.000-05:00

Bibi Anderson in Decay (2009)

2009-12-05T17:53:00.000-05:00

GODZILLA IS EKSTAT (2009)

Was Das Stewart Geseht (2009)

MACBETH
Angelina!
Portrait + Prophet = Profit

2009-08-05T18:39:00.001-04:00

2009-08-05T12:00:00.000-04:00

Shanghai Express (Anna May Wong and Marlene Dietrich) 2008, Acrylic on canvas, 36 x 36 ins. PROVENANCE: Estate of the Artist; Daphne Schoenberg Gallery.

Jesus Don't Forget to Floss (2009)

2009-07-04T15:30:00.000-04:00

Directed, sung and puppeted by Erich Kuersten

2009-06-17T11:53:00.000-04:00

2009-06-17T11:48:00.000-04:00

"Baby Doll (1956)" - 2009, Acrylic on Canvas, 48 x 36 ins

2009-06-17T11:45:00.000-04:00

C. 1987, Syracuse, NY - video still from "Psychdelic Salmagundy"

2009-04-30T13:30:00.000-04:00

2009-04-02T14:11:00.000-04:00

2009-02-19T10:54:00.000-05:00

2009-02-11T16:09:00.000-05:00

American Mandala (2009)

2009-02-07T18:49:00.000-05:00

CIRCLE OF CONSUMPTION

SELF PORTRAIT

2008-12-21T17:08:00.000-05:00

2008-12-21T17:01:00.000-05:00

THE REMOTE

I came across a man who could not find his remote.
Nor could he approach his own TV
in vain he looked under sheets, couches, piles of coats,
in vain! in vain looked he.

I don't trust, he said, the laws of science.
There's many things it will not see
and in refusing to acknowledge blind spots,
no vision can be genuine;
it's all either waves or particles, depending on whom you ask,
and things disappear;
commercials are endured;
as the TV has no knobs to turn,
and the remote is lost, all lost, said he.

As he babbled he was lifting cushions all the while,
and I, so wearious of watching
his futile rummaging, did make to leave

and later in my pocket
found it.

Mexican Mud, Syracuse, 1989

2008-11-08T17:11:00.000-05:00

Wine, Women & WAR!

2008-11-01T22:59:00.000-04:00

This November I celebrate 10 years without a drink. In memoriam, here is a comic I drew in 1999 while interning at the Bellevue alcohol clinic. I'd like to dedicate this to my childhood best buddy, Alan Pyle.

If you don't know war comics, this is patterned after DC's "Weird War Tales." And of course, the classic comics of Alcoholics Anonymous. Just click on each page for a larger version!

2008-09-17T11:41:00.000-04:00

I want to write about the illusion of control. That is one of my mind’s focuses. We’re trained by loud voices to respond. I’ve got a loud authoritative voice that gets results.
I can make words seem true the way I say them - they even sound true to me. My deep voice is like a big set of bellows powering an instrument vast and glorious and God- the devil that He is -- hath given me a tone-deaf ear and inclination towards laziness which prevents and prevented and will prevent me from bothering to examine and master the intricacies of this amazing instrument. I use it as infrequently as possible and it closes up on me in irked reprisal. When I, for example, finally speak during a day off from work, to the cashier at the drug store, my voice comes out as a surprise to us both. Where most voices come and go, like little chirps, my deep voice drops onto the floor with a flat slapping sound, staying there. All words tend to lose their meaning when I speak them. My voice is a needle that scratches each record it plays, morphing the singer’s voice into mine, riddling the once-clean margins with my random notations, my boredom, my longing, my sloth. I spit out the crumpled remains of tapes I’ve played, mixes for long drives back and forth to college upstate, blazing too much lazy herb, lots of b’s: burbbly, bubbly babble until I can’t understand my own voice when I hear it on someone else’s answering machine.

2008-06-30T14:55:00.000-04:00

The graduating jock poets of 2008, plus me, their devoted and debauched advisor

Where Vertigo comes from (see Kim Novak en utero)

HANDBASKET TO HELL!!!!!

2008-06-22T16:32:00.000-04:00

Nightmare Alley

2008-06-22T16:11:00.000-04:00

Works from 2003 - the "fertile" period

2008-06-22T16:07:00.000-04:00

Acrylic on Canvas from 2007-8

2008-06-22T15:36:00.001-04:00

Anna May Wong in transition

2008-06-22T14:55:00.000-04:00

2008 - Acrylic on canvas -

Stills from "Hippy in a Handbasket" (in production: 2009)

2008-06-22T14:23:00.001-04:00

2007-12-29T14:18:00.000-05:00

White-Bred Struggle

Collage Deposit
Fat Cells!

2007-12-17T17:15:00.000-05:00

Still from my edit-montage-making in-progress of the Pratt Institutionalized Theater's MORNING MORNING (written and directed by Robert Snyderman).

In the photo: Katie Przybyski

2007-12-17T17:12:00.000-05:00

BRIEFING FOR AN ASCENT OUT OF YOUR NAVEL
and into... reality!

What is it and what are those weird noises it's making?
Reality slithers
it's alive, ALIVE!

I call on you reading this now to wake up to reality the way a sleeper awakens from one dream into another.
Come on, Sleeping Beauty, Come on, Rip Van Winkle, Come on, Ashley Saint Ives,
come sleeping sapling coiled in embryonic seed, come yoga mudra and do the dancing downward dog - pass through veils of perception as clean as a hot knife through cobwebs, gliding and gleaming towards steaming breakfast pancakes of the mind.

Genius is but well-tempered insanity, channeled through to pen and ink as the sex drive is channeled into capitalism.
Score one for our team! But you got to learn to not run to mommy with your A plus for the big dopamine payoff - you got to shoot that shit in yourself, pretty boy. Can't you show Patti Smith nothing but Surrender?
The true insanity knows this and entwines its heart with the mysterious, the otherworldly void that is not otherworldly we realize in an uncanny flash but is our home, and Iraq was just you all the time, moustaches and nooses, bags on heads and bombs in nurseries, all this was you all the time,
and Corporate podiums with insignia-bedecked officials reciting what is spoken into their hidden earpiece by off-screen power brokers; you are the podium, you are the mouth that speaks, the eyes that watch from the presumed safety of the dark, you are the hand that bombs and the hand that heals, you are the mouthpiece that speaks to masses and the mouth that speaks to the mouthpiece.

A shabby shaman shamus is no stranger to purification rituals, or poison for that matter; a shamnus learns you got to take the good with the bad, man, Dennish Hopper on Royball, man, but this chick takes it all the time, can you dig that? Okay, I'm losing my train of thought here... put this book down and meditate on the principles of push me and pull you, the llama friends of Dr. Doolittle. Ah HAH! You had forgotten all about them, hadn't you? Hadn't you better? I mean if you haven't already, because they're stupid? Got you again, if you were here I'd slap you right about now. I really mean that, I'd slap the silly out of you, pronto. But you're not here. And now is. Now always is, but you can't slap it. General, you can broil it fry it send it to die in the Frenches, but you just can't slap it.

THE GAP BETWEEN THOSE WHO HAVE
and those who haven't
been in therapy
gets longer every day... longer and longer - and to stay in therapy is to be like the astronaut who is in space, the Bowman, the Kier Dullea ever reaching for that black obelisk rainbow. To not be in therapy is to live always without borders, to deny borders
as firmly as a mom denies her son the one thing he wants, as firmly as rain is fire's double, as firmly as trouble and lack thereof are one, the illusion of death, transcended at last. All eternity is faced either way, but first we build a nice castle, and put on the lotion, and absorb the baking lessons of great god the sun. Omm Omm Ommm,
and try to--when the castle gets washed away by tides to come and you know it will--try to act surprised.

2007-12-17T17:08:00.000-05:00

WATER IS IMPORTANT

First thing if you are to come with me on this special journey to the other realm, where the ego has been brainwashed into committing suicide so the soul can live unfettered, you must drink water.

Most trips to the emergency room could have been avoided if the ailing person had been drinking water instead of doing whatever they were doing

Drink it down like a sailor drinks the air at sea.

You were a fish once and if you're lucky you will be again. We hate water, don't we? I mean to drink, as it's so dull and unimaginative; we hate it like we hate our own kin, our own selves in the mirror. Coke is so much better because it's dark and alien, sweet and strange and exciting. But though coke starts out as a ride in a stranger's car it ends in the light of the carnival midway as you exit feeling cheated from the haunted house ride.

But the reason why we block out the memory of death is the same reason we block out the memory of how dumb and so damn short that carnival haunted house ride was; two weeks and we remember that ride as a pretty good time; thirty years and it glows with a patina of nostalgia when you suddenly hear "Rock me like a hurricane" on the radio; what was once a cheap papier mache skull behind chicken wire and surrounded by lights the flicked on and off as you walked past along a moldy plywood tunnel now becomes art distilled. The skull has a symbolic resonance! Ta dum! You see it reflecting in the blackness of your pupils - even when you're not tripping -- you turn suddenly and see it in the form of some dude walking behind you and you wonder if maybe that dude's been behind you your whole life, waiting with the patience of a well-paid chauffer for you to die, to step out of your current obscenely human form so he may escort you onto the next buffet.

The cool part is you're only pretending to be scared, to fool you, to make the movie more exciting.

2007-12-17T16:37:00.000-05:00

No it's not a relapse, it's HELLWARD THE HIPPY, the latest adventure of that hippy detective, Dr. Twilite, coming soon to a theater near youtube.

2007-12-12T11:26:00.000-05:00

2007-06-25T13:55:00.000-04:00

LETTER TO DANIEL PINCHBECK:

Daniel you are right to not stick with any one solution or conception of the problems facing us here on the big Planet E. I disagree with some of the reply posts however whcih long for a way that science can measure psychic phenomena and therefore "legitimize" it and make it useful in a widespread way. I argue this stuff with my pharmacist father who sighs and rolls his eyes when he sees me take herbal supplements, as they "haven't been sufficiently tested" and hence are in his mind, bullshit. That's putting the cart before the horse, like saying "I have never tasted peanut butter, therefore it has no taste" -- we cannot wait for the Big Brother to decide our course of action is legitimate. Such dualities as legit and non-legit are the real enemy here. The psychic power we refer to is immeasurable, as the very concept of measurement bends and melts before it. I would recommend a look back to the good old 1970s where ESP, telekenis and so forth was all the rage... tests in CIA headquarters, heads exploding, Kirk Douglas running around, spoons bending, you get the picture. It was all there, all proven, and then we forgot about it, why? Because there was nowhere to go from there, no way for proven psychic powers to co-exist with our 3-D pop culture world aside from showy gore effects and conspiracy plotting, acid overdoses and nervous breakdowns. As history always repeats itself you may rest assured we are heading into another countercultural revolution ala the Summer of Love in 1967. I imagine it hitting its zenith right around the big 2012 date, and thanks to the internet, burning man connections, etc., we will be much better prepared than last time. There is no way we can envision the sudden, drastic psychic change awaiting us... what we can do in the meantime is to practice unconditional acceptance and suspension of judgment. We must transcend the duality of this being good and that being bad. Our psyches spin on axis similar to that of the earth... every hostile feeling we have towards another reflects back on us with the certainty of night following day (Shakespeare!) If we want to save the world, we must let go of our fear of its total destruction. I dont mean passive acceptance, I mean--as they say in AA--take the next right action, let go of the result. The future is already written, we won. The rest is just drama and mcguffins, enjoy!

2007-05-23T10:12:00.000-04:00

ON DREAMING.... (originally published on Clifford Pickover's Galactic Question site)

Coming to a state of lucidity in dreams is not unlike coming to a state of "in the moment" serenity in waking life... becoming the engaged observer of one's own existence is what it's all about, so of course we would all want to control our dreams. The key to this is the unconscious mind, since it's the one putting on the show. Every show or conception of reality tells us something, signs are messages and what they mean to us reflects things our unconscious is trying to communicate. If our egos were able to control our dreams then our unconscious selves would have to erupt during waking life, which is never a good idea. Through meditation and lucid dreaming we can open the communication channel between our conscious and unconscious, get the dialog going, and as a result our dreams become more harmonious and in accord with our waking.

One day you can even reach a spot where your dreams and waking life meet and become identical. This happened to me once during a profound bout of fever combined with deep trance meditation -- I saw the exact same vision with my eyes closed or open. The two-dimensional otherness of dream perception had bled into my waking reality and vice versa and there was no longer a difference. Crazy, daddio! My point is this: we use 10% of our brains during waking life, thus dreams are the other 90% (or less) trying to communicate with us, to lead us forward via messages, to face fears, overcome obstacles and so forth... when we finally pass enough obstacles, challenge and absorb enough demons, embrace the evil self and free it to the heavens, then we finally meet this other, this alter-ego self who creates the dreams, this aspect of ourselves is sometimes mistaken for god, but that's a bad mistake, since it's way too tricky to trust fully. chances are it's a little annoyed with you for not coming to visit sooner. It's like your true love waiting in the Rapunzel tower to let down her hair, and you're 1000 years late.

2007-01-26T11:32:00.001-05:00

The story of Godboy & Pippaphone

2007-01-26T11:32:00.000-05:00

Here's my daily wisdom nuggets:

Drop all thoughts like they hot, come back to the zero point all the time...

(in other words, dont think twice about something, because that's the gateway to obsession)

Practice regarding random people who pass by with compassion and love (as opposed to judging them sexy or ugly, townie or hottie)

Continually question motivations: Am I doing this to help the person and make the world a better place, or because my ego needs puffing?

Natacha and I used to have a signal whereby we would catch outselves tripping out on shit, winding up into self centered fear, ego trips or obsessive talking and we would break out of it by making goofy gong sounds, "gong gong gongonggog" -- so let's say I started telling her about my day and suddenly I'm ranting about how I am so happy I dont even feel the need to get mad at you for not doing the dishes... which, by the way, when are you going to do them, you bitch? I mean they've been dirty for three freaking days now so anytime you-- gongongongong."

2007-01-17T11:31:00.000-05:00

I've started reading the Tibetan Book of the Dead (translation by Robert Thurman) to prepare for the end of the world. I'm doing my part!!

It all points to 2012 - the end of the Mayan calendar (the "real" calendar) -- the return of Quetzlcoatl (see Daniel Pinchbeck's great book of the same name).

I'm preparing to enter the higher dimensions, the one with the machine elves and magical cities, and I'm looking for a small but hearty and hale crew to join me in this survivor quest.

Most of humanity will, thank God, be doomed.

What is coming is a biblical-style armegeddon of floods and mutant preying mantis's with whips running around the city tearing shit up as their dimension merges with ours. They've been watching over us for centuries, but once the shit hits the fan and it's all drowning away, you can bet they'll sneak out their wormholes and start grabbing whatever jewels and binoculars they can.

You know why? WE create reality and reality creates us. We're dreams of aliens and the aliens we dream and write about are shaped by our perceptions. Aint that nifty??

So the trick is to master the prayers and attentions in the Book of the Dead wherein you pray to realize that all the demons coming for you are just illusions from your own mind.

My experience with them is also to merely regard them with perfect love, and to let go, and to feel perfect love for all beasts and monsters.

Imagine this, a giant tiger jumping up onto your bed as you sleep. You panic and freak out so he mauls you OR you stay still and trembling and he senses your fear and tortures you like a mouse, OR you pet him and regard him with affection and love and name him Tabby.
If you love him, even if he mauls you, you wont feel the pain, any more than a parent feels humiliated and outraged if their baby shits on their foot. Understand?
It's confusing... but I am patient. See that demon picture up there on the left. I RECOGNIZED that guy, with his 3 eyes, from a 4 AM spiritual vision quest I had a few months ago. I had never seen that Tibetan demon before. Then I got an invite from the Rubin Museum with that same head on the cover and had a huge shock of recognition. I had SEEN THAT FACE BEFORE!!!There are no accidents, and no mistakes, and everything is beautiful if you are brave enough.

2006-11-03T13:59:00.000-05:00

Jazz Appreciation

The scream of a saxophone can't be listened to as one would listen to a voice or a "melody" the way years of listening to FM radio and its repertoire of rock and pop classics have ingrained us to listen to music. Jazz is best appreciated by listening more to your thoughts. The voices in your head speak in different tongues if you open yourself up to listening to them. The ego clings to its initial snap judgment of things, and uses it's own interpretation of catchy songs as distraction, to drown out the other voices, the ones that speak in different tongues. You need to have a quieter ego to appreciate jazz to the fullest. You need to have a grasp on the elusivity of time, of the moment. A jazz man has to live in the moment. An improvisation is an example of the surrendering to these inner voices.

One must let go and trust the unconscious completely. It may say some pretty nonsensical things. It works like dreams work, ouside of the constraints of time. In dreams time stands still or is always in flux, hence running can be slower than walking in dreams. a good jazz man is able to do a similar thing with time, he becomes the unconscious, but with discipline – drums and bass keep a kind of religious framework. The rhythm becomes the highway of time, via which the melody shifts and moves, but then--in jazz-moves off the highway, and the shape changes. Linearity and melody cease, exposing the the movement of time as illusory… then there is the general structure and key of the tune they are playing. This becomes the "ringing" in the head that is all the ego can really contribute to the occasion of a jazz performance.

I didn't realize this until I was watching the two-part opener of the second season of Charlie's Angels on DVD. At the end the three of them are dancing. Bosley is dancing and clearly drunk and in this sort of snobby, devil may care attitude. The ego is like this, it dismisses all that it does not already know, for the very good reason that itself as a persona is so finite as to be extinct with the addition of any new information into the organism. Hence the ego prefers catchy melodies to the elaborate and invigorating abstractions of jazz. A melody is known, jazz resists knowing.

Actively listening to good jazz is an adventure. Listen to Art Blakey's Jazz messengers for prime examples of this. Divorce yourself from all the noir-esque pop culture associations you have with the sound of the saxophone (this is easier said than done)—think of the song they play as a gateway into demonic possession. The melody is the chant, the time signature the time, the time of the song stretches and elasticates with the addition of your own listening.

Does a tree fall in the woods if you don't hear it? No, and neither does jazz on an ipod make music if you are not listening to it. Just as with the headphones off it sounds tinny and far away, so too does it sound different if you are not experiencing it fully—the active listener. A suspension of the ego is required which is why jazz is great after meditation or yoga, or trying to make music yourself. When the sounds of a sax is heard not as your egoic perception of a sax but as a voice, let's say, an alien voice. Like a child may look at a page of writing and pretend to understand it, so too are most jazz listeners stuck in a kind of bored half hypnosis…. When you are into it all the way, jazz can be funny! Mingus is as hilarious as roomful of muppets sometimes. It's all about tuning in to the unknown and not looking for "it" whatever "it" is to you, the hook that makes this a song worth buying, or putting on a mix CD for someone, or learning to play. We must let go of our desire to reduce and label – "oh, I remember this song, this is 'Melancholy Baby,'" for example, causes us to immediately reduce the song, as ist is being played, to a memory. This is not the moment, this is not they mystery of music being made, this is "Melancholy Baby!" and the ego races around, pulling up other versions you may have heard out of your vaults in an effort do diminish this moment's power.

The ego always gives more importance to past events than to present, so the new interpretation often can't match the old one, grown rosy through the distorted lens of memory. By way of example, I have a friend who reveres only Hendrix and Beck. I could bring him a CD of great music that sounds probably like what Hendrix may have made today were he alive and my friend would not give it the time of day. But if Beck releases an album of total crap, my friend will instantly revere it. This happens to many in adulthood who are well balanced and content with their lot. They have jumped through all the hurtles very nicely and so never had to linger or go back along the course and so when they get to the section where they can see the finish line (death) approaching, they start looking backwards, but it's too late, they can't stop jumping hurdles, so everything behind them is suddenly tinged with gold and glory, while the future and their death is steadfastly ignored. We're destroying the whole planet because of this white elephant in the room, because these old rich guys are so terrified of dying that they're burning up the world to obscure the exit sign with smoke.

2006-10-17T09:38:00.000-04:00

Oh hail fellow travellers on this astral plane made flesh. The world is ending in five years and if you want to survive in the next dimension, you will keep reading this blog and learn how to spread yourself thin via funky robotic dances and deep meditation. I know all the secrets, or some of them. Okay I know one secret.