Blue Testament: The History Channel's Hot Hot Hell

the lord says, if you see a face while looking down into a hole, it's NOT pareidolia, sinner, it's demonic.

Watching the weirdly theologian-ish "The Gates of Hell" on the History Channel this weekend was a pretty intense experience but, once again--as with so many other quests for holy knowledge that TV documentaries attempt to summarize--it seemed bogged down in arguing against moot points. The strategy they use is simple: Phase One - lay out a very dogmatic and literalist interpretation (i.e. you can get to Hell via volcanoes! That's what they used to think! Maybe it's true?) and then arguing against it ("of course you can't, that's ridiculous!") but with enough open ellipses ("... or is it?") to keep us watching. That said, when smarmy scholars who note that, as far as eternal torture goes: "Those who call [the Book of Revelations] Christian pornography may not be far from the mark."

I've seen and experienced various hells over the years: school, bad trips, adverse medications, fevers, withdrawals. I've had nervous breakdowns where I would have gone to the hospital had I been in any condition to speak or dial 9-1-1.  And I can tell you that we can get used to anything, even agony and total panic. If there's something beyond that, well no one's been able to pick up a pen and write about it.

But I'll try. Lately I'm seeing all the dots connected, the underground military bases where the Reptilians live and store body parts and soul energy in little foodbar-size batteries that seem to the inhabitants like a small cell that create excruciating pain and despair (you might say our despair and pain are the voltage we produce, so we have to be 'milked' -- the way slapping on the cow's dugs creates creaminess). And there those poor souls sit, trapped in the underground spaceship's battery pack, their inner light and sense of self reduced to a a 5th dimensional Duracell.

Thus "an eternal abyss of death and damnation" feels far longer than it is, but then that's the catch to living outside of time and space: a minute not only seems like a lifetime, but terms like 'minute' and 'lifetime' become meaningless.

I recall the big argument against teaching creationism at the climax of INHERIT THE WIND, that God couldn't have made the earth in seven days if there was no 'days' before earth was made (since there was no way to measure a day without the spinning axis of the earth). That catch-22 is all over the idea of 'eternal' damnation - eternity is the same as a hot second when you're beyond the confines of time and space, and stuck purely in the eternal moment. "Eternity" simply means outside the confines of linear time. Ghosts from 200 years ago don't feel they've been sitting around that long; they don't feel any concept of time. The Tibetan Book of the Dead talks about a 49-day time limit between bardos, but they mean 49 Earth days, which may only seem like a few hours to the one stuck between stations.

Of course there's the fractal nature of it all --as above so below and so here now-- what in one dimension are giant tweezers lifting you from the hell of a Bunsen burner to the spiritual ecstasy of a cotton swab are God's bony fingers plucking you from Satan's ever-blooming flame garden back into your body in another; a sudden surge of pineal gland activity is also a 'mere' fevered hallucination (to a psychologist) or a spiritual vision (to a shaman). A stoner might just see it as a bum trip, a monk as a moment of doubt, a Beverly Hills housewife as a nervous breakdown --but they're all just words and if we let them narrow the scope of the event experienced, that's on us. Society devalues the subjective experience, so that a blissful summer of psychedelically kick-started connection and awakening is boiled down to 'dude, I was so fucked up at Burning Man.:

The questions these History and Nat Geo documentaries never ask are the most important ones of semiotics: what 'you' do you mean when you talk of "being" in Hell? How is possible to be "imprisoned" after you cease to exist? 'Your' body is on a slab in the morgue so what part of the 'you' construct of a physical body with a brain and soul winds up "being in Hell" after you are dead? Is your physical tactile body present? Is it an out of body perception? If you lost a toe in fifth grade is it back? If you died at 99 are you still stuck in an old body or do you get to be 21 again? A 'trapped' consciousness is what exactly? What is the difference between dreaming and reality in the afterlife?How do we see and hear without eyes or ears? Not all of our psyche/soul lives on. Other parts may fill the gap. When the lightbulb burns out, the current is still there, but it's not illuminating.

Well, who put us in this prison of consciousness? The Devil, Beezlebub, The Zionist Conspiracy, or our own alcoholic slice and voth? One guy on "Gates of Hell" documentary talked of the out-of-body experience as feeling like he was standing up, his legs moving below the bed and through the floor, when he was lying in a hospital bed. Dude, I've felt that in my futon on the floor, upside down, so that my head was sticking through the floor, and right above me (i.e. below my bed) were a team of ghost greys tinkering with my brain. I was afraid to let go all the way because of my breathing - it was like a fallopian oxygen tube stopping the bubble helmet from sealing hermetically around my neck.

I would advise that when you're getting sucked into the Reptilian devil's vacuum soul collector remember that your soul is like a balloon, and the more happy and carefree and full of love it is the more inflated, airborne. The Reptilian devils want your soul to be half-inflated, in a little squirmy rubbery thing, all closed down and thick in density (the seven deadly sins are notoriously awesome soul-condensers) they can catch in their vacuum bag, while the inflated one just rises past the vacuum's reach. The demons are not too worried about those. Their job is to shake their fist up at the soul and seem mad; but when the catch is this huge you salute the plucky few who got away.

And if you imagine all that like a literal vacuum, or think the gates to Hell are a real volcanic place, then I think you're off the mark... not that there's not (maybe) reptilian bases all over the world but I don't believe the Old Gods that Lovecraft hallucinated and who control our politicians are to be taken literally, which is why they try so hard to make you think on those 'literal' levels. Indeed those literal levels were created for just such a concealment. A fifth dimensional being who wants to exploit you is going to convince you that there is no fifth dimension: "I don't know why, but I really don't want to pay attention to the man behind the curtain. And I think anyone who pays attention to the man behind the curtain should be shot." It's only when you look behind it irregardless of what the culture mandates that these incongruities reveal themselves.

Amen, but in this case the man behind the curtain really is invisible, so the only way to see him is to blow a lot of sage smoke around to get his outline, and that's why he never hangs around when a 'clearance' is properly done. Conversely, the more blood you spill, the more the green head projection may become solidified. Connect the dots and the difference between vampires, Reptilians, Satan, and God/s all but disappears.

So the 'you' who thinks the voice telling you to sacrifice virgins to the volcano is just your psychosis or insanity, it isn't the real you at all, but there's a 5th dimensional astronaut ghost puppeteer holding your strings, who will drink up your virgin's crystal-white energy like it's Tang, and he will drink and be defined by her blood, like in HELLRAISER, and indeed Hell shall follow with her.

So how can you avoid this hellish soul sucking? Follow these handy steps:

1. Smoke - Reptilians hate smoke as it sticks to their clothes (fire being a fourth-dimensional gateway). Keep incense and sage burning all the time.

2. Love Everybody! No exceptions. This doesn't mean you need to be vulnerable to someone who means to do you harm, but just kill them with a kind heart and loving heart. It makes a difference!

3. Be light and happy in spirit, and nice to dogs and other animals; eat no meat if it can be helped, or be omnivorous.

4. Amass not great fortunes. Wealth breeds reptilian interest, and their insatiable greed and corrupt blood will bring you tumbling down into the abyss. A rich camel entering heaven is like a man going through the eye of a needle; he would need to be liquified and poured, long, slowly and steadily through the eye via an elaborate tubing process. It might take years. So spend and give freely, yet never say no to a chance to sell out so you can infiltrate and dissolve the infrastructure of the Reptoid elite.

6. Be not obnoxious in your wisdom, for it doth turn real fast to dogma. If you have the urge to preach, you're not as enlightened as you think. Mania is good anyway, so don't sell it short.

7. Learn to melt, dissolve and evaporate your brain. When the demon gate guardians come, just open your arms to embrace them and become light and love and they can no sooner harm you than a blade can harm a ray of sunlight or a radio signal, for that is all you are, a combo of the two. Their job is to make you think of yourself as matter they can slice to ribbons.


We're trained to imagine our souls die when our body dies, that this is the common theme of atheism. Oh man, if only. If we didn't have to come back, how glorious! But it's wishful thinking. Does the radio station die if you turn off the receiver?

That's Hell fer ya - not being able to change the radio channel from your prison documentary perception as a living, thinking radio. Switching up into higher frequencies is so easy it defies possibility, hence is too impossible to relate in words. It's more about forgetting than remembering, more about giving up opposites than choosing good over evil. When you are at that level you are no longer the angel or the devil but the man taking tickets at the fight. And you are the bleachers, and the cheering throngs, and the broom that sweeps the blood. Clean up your hell ten feet square and get out of the ring. You don't even have to stay in the building. As easy as a shadow creeping across a graveyard, you exist unstoppably.

You are the ocean and the sky and here in this dimension is where you, we, twist into clouds.

And from our uneasy altitude we look down at the ocean like it's trying to kill us, to drag us back down, and the sun is trying to evaporate us from above, but somehow mocking us for we'll never make it all the way into the arms of its bright promise, and so we feel trapped between them, when all the while, we were them, and will be again, and again, and already are.

 
I guess one can't blame the History Channel for not picking up on that, but they did a reasonable job with Ancient Aliens.