Terrifying Women Come in Twos

Only some lucky or maybe dead guys know about the weird pairs of alien women--they always go in pairs--hunting young men, or something.... if we take them up on their offer, we're never heard from again. Only those of us who've run the other way have stuck around to tell the tale. One of the few to get this just right is DECOYS (2004), a Canadian schlock film which uses the usual college freshman Night of the Creeps-style comedy to go with its pungent expose of the women predator phenom. I think they're related somehow to those kids with the black eyes who approach cars in the dead of night, to Bob and the dwarf in TWIN PEAKS, and so forth.


I know, you see... because I've wandered into the net of these weird twosomes before, three or four times over my long time partying career; always they were different women, always very unsusual in how sexually aggressive they were, how strange they acted, and how weirded out the guys who actually had sex with them were. Our freeloading charismatic grifter from the east, Scumby, shagged one and came out mere minutes later ashen, he said something was off about her body but never went into detail. He forgot about it; we forgot about it, blocked it out. What was up with these girls, wondered I? The last time I ran into them was at Earth Day after Scumby convinced me to take way too much acid - and man I was in a bad bad place; the prettier one (my one) came up to me and while everything else was weird anyway, including my reflection, she seemed like an image, like no attraction repulsion magnetism, but rather like a ghost vortex of desire- a beautiful hippy girl I can still remember her body, hair, the maroon color of her dress, but damned if I remember her face, or what about her sent me running in the opposite direction, apologizing over my shoulder - and me desperately single, horny and unhappy. I should have/ could have glommed right about that shit- but what the hell stopped me? What made her very allure seem like some dangerous trap?



What's weird is the schlub party guy is too weirded out by the hot girl in the bathroom - hey alien or no when a hot blonde chick attacks you in the bathroom it's rude to say no, but that's why DECOYS works, because guys are all talk - lord knows I was, but didn't know myself well enough to realize the con game I was running on myself. We all want to get with the right girl so bad and then some totally hot but something's off and we can't quite place it girl falls into our laps and starts mauling us and we're drunk enough maybe we can roll right into it before our defenses kick in.

But otherwise, something weird happens: we panic and run. It's the Lacanian objet petit a invading our orbit of desire; we're destabilized. It's like if the sun was our sexual longing for the right girl, that constant relentless ache where every moment not spend in the company of beautiful girls is like a knife in the heart twisting, the superego ranting in our brain about what losers we are, but then a beautiful girl suddenly lunges towards us, finally we'll get that desire but it's too soon, we're not ready, we panic, we run, and then coming out of it later, the superego moves from that fight or flight instinct to railing on us for being pussies and not going for it; it's almost like the superego did it n purpose, so it could beat us up extra hard about it later.

I don't know enough on this subject to make a judgment or hazard a guess as to what these women are all about, but when SNL recently did a sketch about a pair of blonde black-eyed aliens women at a speed dating party, I felt a pang of genuine uncanny terror. What is up with these pairs? Are they aliens, or just MONARCH 7 mind controled sex slave assassins who slipped their programming.

IN EYES WIDE SHUT...

The weird irrational behavior of the two models in the opening party, for example, along with everything else that goes on, can be explained through the maze of the mind control theory, as they want to take him "over the rainbow," presumably a well-known code for the world that is shown to subjects of the practice, leaving them a way to explain all the bizarre things that seem to happening to them, THE WIZARD OF OZ being one of the source texts for this kind of conditioning:

"The Rainbow--with its seven colors has long had an occult significance of being a great spiritual hypnotic device. Constance Cumbey, in her book The Hidden Dangers of the Rainbow, which exposes the New Age Occult Movement, correctly writes, "The Rainbow (also called the Antahkarana [left] or Rainbow Bridge) (...) is used as a hypnotic device (p.261). 

"The Supreme Council of the 33rd" of Freemasonry has used the rainbow on the cover of their magazine. In a book teaching Druidism (as in Illuminati Druidism), The 21 Lessons of Meryln, the Rainbow is described as "A true sign of Magic...it exists in both worlds at once!" Elvira Gulch is a woman who owns 1/2 of the county where Dorothy lives in Kansas. She is shown later in the Land of Oz transformed as a witch.

Many of the Illuminati elite are rich and lead double lives. People who meet them at a ritual will see the dark side of these rich people. At the rituals, people are tranced from drugs, chanting, and mind control; they are "over the rainbow." - Fort Refuge

On the other hand, the two girls may be there to just set up the future problem between Bill and Alice, whose mutual attractiveness has surely caught them the attention of interested parties before, but like the single night of misadventure that opens A CLOCKWORK ORANGE, their marriage seems to begin at this party. (No one from Alex's violent misdeeds prior to the home invasion night gets revenge, for example.)

The figure who separates Bill and Alice originally, Nick Nightingale, has a name that symbolizes sleep (we always fall asleep alone no matter who is in our bed), and immediately after Bill is called away, Alice is hit on by her animus-representation, the Anton La Vey, and soon thereafter Bill gets drawn into a menage a trois any man would melt in his bones for. Now, in my book any good looking young couple is going to want to mingle and flirt and bask in the adoration of others at a party, and then they go home together and no harm done. What, are they supposed to just canoodle all night? Why even go to the party if not to strut? So why are they so cowed and confused by this attention they're receiving? Why does Alice seem to change into a different person, very coy, tranced out, and strange, the minute Anton approaches? Why are these girls so bizarre? Is that illuminated star by the door some psychic trigger to release their inhibitions, or is this just what really really good expensive champagne does?

In the end there's a weird symbiosis between the masked orgy Bill crashes and Alice's dream and the idea that Alice is actually the girl who dies (or 'has her brains fucked out' to use Sidney Pollack's vile terminology), begging the question: what is worse, a sex-saturated dream where you lose control and are violated every which way but which you are enjoying (she's the center of attention -- she 'belongs' there) or a sexual reality in which you are out of your depth?

As someone whose had a panic attack after being hit on by two spooky models at a 2006 Halloween party, I no longer envy and hate Dr. Bill the way I did when I first saw the film in 1999. I hadn't read Lacan then, and couldn't stand the fact that Bill's uncertain fog lets these two hotties slip away, and all the subsequent ones he loses, or even got them in the first place, or was so easily picked up the West Village streetwalker. I mean this isn't Atlantic City! But now I'm beaten down, broken on the wheel of time, like a scarecrow. If I had another encounter with those two spooky models I would still run away but wouldn't hate myself so much later. Why? Because now I've read up on EYES WIDE conspiracy mind control theorems.

Here's a detail I remember about those two girls who tried to pick me up but gave me a whopping panic attack instead (and this after I 'tested' my psychic powers by requesting in my deep meditation to pick up not one but two girls for a menage a trois that night)-- one was dressed as a dominatrix, the other wore a black bikini, had a perfect body, AND REPTILE EYES, though they were presumably contacts for her 'costume.' OR we were meant to assume so, just as we are meant to assume that all of the masks at the orgy in EYES hide human faces. Are reptile contact lenses on Halloween the perfect cover, allowing reptilian-human hybrids to show their real selves?
REPEAT FROM ABOVE (in the interest of derangement, I'm telling this story twice, as my dad began to do, like his grandfather before him, the same story over and over - for what it's worth.. I forgot I already wrote about it down here when I wrote about it up there, but... um.... it makes sense, since the women hunting in twos thing calls for it. As does my wry picture of THREE women (from DECOYS) as the top image. There's always time for deadpan self-satire.
If that's what that is...
--
Now that we're talking about it, I'm remembering a run in or two with another pair of spooky girls, hippie chicks (and one guy) up in Syracuse in 1987. They were gorgeous and way too sexually open for my prudish tastes, to the point I found myself backing up away from them and was not sure why, as I was hardly a virgin, or sober. I can barely remember what any of these two sets of girls looks like now, except that they were very sexy, and seemed possessed with eerie calm. If I did hook up with either set, would I even be alive today? And are all my subsequent peccadilloes just my long night of the soul trying to get revenge on womankind for making me feel all itchy and strange for my chickening out of these encounters? Were these girls even human? Was their whole mission just to seduce men and steal their DNA, and/or leave us with a lifetime of sexual anxiety that they could siphon off with their orgone harvesting matrixes?

My hippy house's resident freeloader Eric did sleep with one of those hippie chicks and was super weirded out afterwards. He told me that something about her vagina didn't look right, though he couldn't explain exactly what was so wrong about it....then again he's not a writer. One of them came onto me at an outdoor concert while I was tweaking out on way too much LSD and my dog acted all afraid of her and her beauty carved into me like talons; I could feel the emanating waves of open sexuality calling to me but I could see my mortal death as well. I heard myself muttering an incoherent apology and felt my legs carrying me away even as a part of me tried to take up her offer.

Plus, Bill getting called away before he can go 'over the rainbow' to deal with the OD seems to be implying those two girls meant shooting him up as well as whatever sexual stuff... and he may have wound up as comatose as she is. Even metaphorically it means he is spared the problems that plague a man beset upon by two hot women, a kind of all-encompassing panic-inducing mix of dread and desire that confound his ability to walk or think clearly (the awkward nervous banalities of their conversation reflects this kind of flushed disorientation). It is like a drug in and of itself, draining normal humdrum reality, the way, for example the music dies down and changes and the rest of the world becomes a blur when Maria and Tony's first spot one another in WEST SIDE STORY.