Open Letter to Joe Rogan: Bigfoot is Real but isn't Here

Dear Joe Rogan:

I just watched your debut episode of your QUESTIONS EVERYTHING, and after also seeing your hosting the DMT documentary (which I contributed to via Kickstarter), I wanted to suggest you apply the one to other, namely the blurry line between the dimensions, which non-corporeal beings can notice as easily as dogs can discern smells and follow trails we can't. Old 'Man' Sasquatch can follow these ley lines in and out of our 3-D space/time as easily as we can find our way to a bus station.

Naturally you have a show so you have to go by the 'book' - but the books hasn't led anywhere on the Bigfoot question in eight hundred years. Maybe you should look a little farther out and/or inwards (there's no difference between the two, which you should know if you've 'been to the mountaintop' --and if you haven't, why were you hosting a DMT documentary?)  Your Question Everything show even had one really unique witness's idea, which you never followed up on: the crazy looking Sasquatch-esque child psychologist who was searching in the hot spot woods behind his house with his trail cams and recorders for years to no effect, then one night gave up and left all his recording devices behind and went out alone and unarmed with an open mind and within a half an hour had his encounter.

Mired in the conventional thinking tar pit as you are (on this show at least), Joe, I guess it wouldn't occur to you that most of our terrestrial ancestors along the ape-human-alien DNA hybrid lines can read minds, communicate telepathically, and leap forward and backwards along time lines of events as easily as we can pick up where we left off in a cheap novel. We've got skills they don't, but being able to surf the time-space continuum isn't one of them. We have the grey matter for it, but the DNA code that would help us access it has been artificially disconnected at the dawn of our creation, the equivalent of raising flamingos with clipped wings so they can't fly away. Why was our ability to 'fly' away disconnected? Because our predecessor, the Sasquatch, ruined it for us, like an older brother who crashed the car we would have inherited had he not been drunk driving, so now dad wont even let us learn to drive.

Sasquatch tried to usurp his creators, you see. He tried to escape alien control, to revolt agains them. The aliens (i.e 'the watchers' or the Annunaki) didn't like that, so arranged a big flood to wipe the pens clean to try again (this was later telephone game-warped over the centuries into the tale of Hercules cleaning the Augean stables, and then of course Noah). Some bigfeet (?) survived, especially the ones at high altitudes who missed the waters (ala those in the Himalayas, the Rockies) and gradually reverted to a kind of semi-savagery, though I guess that's a relative term, and we should hardly be the ones to judge.

Even today, UFOs and sasquatches are often seen together in the same way cops follow escaped prisoners.

Just because it's clearly fake doesn't mean it's not true!

You also could have traced this all back to the Pacific Northwest Native American tribes, who consider these beings ancient power animals, naguals, spirit beings, ancient ones; or the myths of the Green Man in England and Ireland; or the Wild Man in Jungian archetypal myth. In Greek mythology they were called titans, in other sources cyclops, giants; some had names: Gilgamesh, Goliath.  Maybe not all of them were able to traverse in and out of our physical plane as easily as others, but they've been evolving for far longer than we have, and at the same time devolving slowly backwards into more and more ape-like features and behavior.

The lack of evidence of skeletons is a tell-tale sign that they don't often die in this plane, or maybe ever in the way we understand it. An occasional footprint is all they leave behind, or a figure photographed in the distance (far enough away their magnetic field doesn't disrupt the camera).  Squatches don't give birth so much as double up on themselves, ghosting their own ghost image, Such beings are able to, like the aliens, like demons, like all other paranormal entities, be able to move in and around our linear time, to wink in and out of not just our material plane, but our vision, our time frame, our frequencies of perception. You can't call them ghosts for they 'ghost' the way ariel reception used to double the image during very cloudy days, or radio stations sometimes leak across their point on the dial over into other channels. When we see a sasquatch we're really seeing just a more fleshed-out interactive version of a ghost, a footprint rather than the foot.

Though they are an echo across time, they are as real--and maybe even more so--as we are, for they understand they are an echo, and we suffer under the delusion that--being made of 'matter'--we're solid. Physicists will tell us matter is merely thick bands of energy resonating at a slower rate than our eyes can perceive, giving our eyes--themselves composed of vibrating bands of energy---the illusion of 'solidity.' Our brains can't perceive the wavelength of ourselves, anymore than a man who's spent his life floating on a raft can understand motionlessness. A plant seems to our eyes, for example, to be permanent - until time lapse photography shows its sleep cycles, flower closing against the cold and opening in the sunlight, sped up fast enough it seems to be breathing. Who is to say which rate of speed is 'correct' for earlier races, ancestors, aliens? Do we seems fast as blurs to the 'normal breathing' plants?

your eyes deceive you if you see stillness.

Supposedly (in the Bible), "God" was displeased with what he had created, the original Nephilim/Squatches-- so 'He' destroyed them all, saving a few choice bits of the side stuff in an ark packed with the few 'new generation' already around. We, the second batch, had our 'junk DNA' disconnected at the dawn of our creation; our maker didn't want us escaping into other realities --tuning in other stations--and making trouble. The new 'humans' would be rather slow and small compared to their ancestors. They needed less resources and weren't as worried about detection by vengeful watchers. Today, knowing if they were discovered they'd be killed, tortured in the name of science, either by humans or by those beings who wanted the entire race gone. To get back to that crashed car metaphor, the Sasquatch motto would be: don't tell our snitch of a kid brother we still use that car, or he'll want to drive and/or tell dad it's not actually crashed after all.

To encapsulate: Bigfoot is our un-psionically circumcised older brother, the one who got away with all sorts of shit we're still paying for. Most of them were wiped out in the great floods of Sumerian legend; those who lived high in the mountains -- Everest, Ranier, etc.--survived, because the water line of the great floods never reached them. These survivors knew their creators, the Annunaki, had launched the flood, to sift the sandbox (or Augean stables) clean, as it were, so an easier to manage breed could take the field -- one smaller, less hairy, less smelly, and above all, less able to access the higher cortices of the brain, unable to do the things the creators could do. This half-and-half mixture of ape and god is still going strong, alas slowly choking its own Mother Earth to death as it waits to move off-world like a plague.

treetop silhouette or 'smudge' tool?

As for these ancient ones, the titans, the Paul Bunyans and the Goliaths and the Harry and the Hendersons... some of them also respawned down in the swamps, like the Alan Moore version of Swamp Thing. Are psychedelic mushrooms and mold their greeting card message to us, their attempt to lead us over the barbed wire fences of our tampered DNA and into the green fields of the eternal?

As incomplete as this answer may be, it still makes more logical sense than all the sightings being the result of either hoaxes, misidentification or genuine anthropoids staying hidden all these centuries. We don't want to dismiss it, to let go of the question, which is why I always cringe when DNA tests are done on collected hair and scat samples. I already know the answer to what it will be. If it's anything but bear or human you'll never hear about it, anyway. And since it's one or the other, man what a bummer to get that answer back. A pox on DNA testing! We need the bigfoot myth, the way the trapped in the suburbs little brother needs the campfire tales of his older MIA brother's wild adventures, the Cool-Hand Luke, the Jon Voight in Runaway Train. 

The 'real' answer to this riddle lives in the kind of right brain intuitive info that can never be verified, at least while science keeps it's head in the sand as far as the legitimacy of out-of-body astral travel. So it will remain in the realm of art ("where science fears to tread, art staggereth"). Still, it makes more sense than the linear 3D space time mammal explanation, which can't account for the lack of bones, scarcity of photos, etc. It also explains the presence of UFOs near bigfoot hot spots. The greys are always trying to nab these hold-outs from the period immediately preceding the dawn of Adam. Some 'good' aliens probably help them on the sly, conservationists, like Native American reservation lawyers, or some of the species might be turned against the rest, i.e. 'squatch narcs ("heard you guys still have an interdimensional car stashed somewhere, maybe I can bum a ride?")

It would be a mistake to presume this is nonsense just because we can't perceive any of it in our modern science or with our 'sober' senses. If you bring a trained hunting dog into the woods you don't presume it's crazy for following a smell trail you can't smell. Yet you don't give the Bigfoot spirit credit for being able spot trail cams a mile away, presuming in your idiot wisdom they must be dumb if they're hairy and live in the woods. But maybe to them, man, your footprints and smell are obvious and your little gadgets offend their eye, like a toddler presuming you won't guess who drew on your wall in crayons in big lines three feet up from the floor - since you didn't catch them in the act.

Sure they sometimes scare us away and go rummaging around and throwing rocks, chasing us down hills, but so do the IRA, or the Palestinians, or any other disenfranchised and oppressed group being encroached on.

When Patterson got his footage it was suspect enough, due to his shady status, that he knew it might not be believed. On the other hand he was desperate, and praying hard for an appearance, because otherwise he would be ruined financially, so the forest granted him his footage. If you look at that bigfoot in that film it seems to be saying, 'Okay? Did you get your picture, you crybaby? Now leave us alone!'

After all, they don't want us to stop looking for them... when we're able to find them at last, we'll be ready for the next game of hide and seek, the next evolutionary step; they want us to use the experience of looking for them as an educational experience, not to find an ape carcass to dump on the front hood of science's pickup truck to confirm we're number one fuck yeah etc. (there's at least two hick hunter shows where a bunch of armed yahoos run around the forest ready to blast anything that spooks them even slightly). Look what JAWS did for sharks? Nearly wiped them out. Bigfoot hunters would pack the woods with shotguns and empties if it ever became 'official.' But to use the mystery of their unknowable but undeniable 'existence' to open science to questions it doesn't yet admit it needs to ask, let alone answer.

Sure I sound crazy - but doesn't the idea that a living 3D 500 pound being who can nimbly prance through the forest, leaving only one or two footprints a year, being attached to our permanence matrix existing without any concrete physical evidence for thousands of years measure up as crazier? Again, presuming you've done the DMT, you should know. If you haven't, why were you hosting that DMT documentary?

Our linear-time / circular space-bound perception of reality is but a single radio station on a vast FM dial, and that dial just one of an infinite number. There are more frequencies than planets in the universe, which themselves connect to these ancient bands (as in Saturn's rings). Us looking at Mars and saying there's no city there is like a bored cable TV flipper bemoaning no HBO shows are showing up on his UHF antenna. He could find them all by paying for premium cable, 2,000 other cable choices are available with a little bravery or a credit card. But he won't. He's too cheap to pay for cable, so goes on denying HBO even exists!

Again, you should have caught that in the DMT-verse, Joe - the unified or zero point field --the giant deflated beach ball, where all spots in space and time exist in the same here and now simultaneously. If you take that ball and inflate it near a black hole, the image of its deflation still exists with the inflated overlaid, each movement creates a million potentialities. That's just physics, Joe. I don't make the rules.

The dreaded bush silhouette of Creaky Point

We can see it all--at once--if we know how to change the channel, or tune in the antenna, or our neighborhood is wired for cable. Bigfoot is like a ghost image, but image here also means sound, footprints, smell too, broken trees, everything a 'real' 3-D ape would be; we're talking a different kind of projection. Picture the nuclear scientist who uses those rubber gloves that reach into a radio-active box to handle plutonium; the bigfoot footprint, the roars, the ghostly EVPs are like those rubber gloves, our 3-D space time continuum is the inside of the box. This 'image' of the being behind the glass occasionally leaks over from its radio station to ours via bad weather or fevers or drugs or trances -- but it can't be fit into our paradigm. But we're meant to 'keep looking' - to keep trying to tune into these mystery stations, even if we only get the picture for a second during the right configuration of clouds.

Empirical science and its insistence on hard evidence is nice and all, but it's merely the rules of one board game in a limitless playroom shelf. We need to realize that Trivial Pursuit doesn't have the same rules as Monopoly. That doesn't mean Trivial Pursuit is unplayable but science takes Trivial Pursuit out of the box, sees there's no Park Place or hotels to buy and so deems it defective. But the instructions to all the games are printed in hieroglyphs on the back of each of our brain box lids - DMT sharpens our vision so we can read them. so READ THEM, Joe, read them!

Sorry for the huge onslaught of metaphors...

Yours,
Erich Kuersten

PS Postscript - Just saw your aliens thing... oh Joe, don't you understand you're not the first one who ever said 'show me the saucer, the alien' or I don't believe you? You're like the Habeas corpus of the paranormal... there's no show in that, Joe. You're the last snotty naysayer to the dance. A show about a guy who's not sure he should be doing a show is not a show. You best give the producers back their money and take some imagination pills. Clearly you didn't take any DMT before doing that documentary. Don't lie, Joe!

PPS Postcript (June 2020) - I just saw a rerun of a 70s childhood favorite, The Bionic Woman. In it, Jamie Summers (Lindsay Wagner) runs into a group of time-traveling aliens who travel with in and out of our timeline at will with a Sasquatch as their servant, mentally controlled by an evil splinter sect headed by an impressively bearded John Saxon! I know I saw this as a child as I remember being freaked out by idea of an evil Sasquatch, but the details of the timeline skipping were over my head. But were they over the head of my unconscious mind? And did my unconscious conjure up a spirit animal to essentially retell the episode to me when I asked during my deep dish trip to the mountaintop? OR was the same 'truth' told to the writer/s of the episode?